Notes from Kevin Liebl

The Importance of Staying Balanced

When I was in high school, there was a popular song by Jackson Browne called “The Pretender.” In it, he spoke of being “caught between the longing for love, and the struggle for the legal tender.” This week, while traveling on business, I was reminded of the song as I spoke to a middle-aged woman sitting next to me on a flight between Dallas and Austin. She explained that she was in pharmaceutical sales. She was very successful, but as she put it, “had sold her soul” over the past 20-years of her career. She was now between jobs and trying to “heal herself” since she was financially secure, but emotionally bankrupt.

Most of us struggle with this issue of balance in our life at some point. It may be work vs. family. It may be family vs. personal hobbies. It may be personal hobbies vs. spirituality. It could be any activity in our lives. The result may manifest itself in obvious ways such as an addiction (e.g., alcohol, drugs, work, exercise), or in more subtle ways such as suffering relationships or excessive stress. In most cases, it is simply a question of priorities. Is it worth missing my son’s basketball tournament to be present at my company’s sales conference?
Are the physical and mental benefits of my exercise regimen worth giving up time I could be spending at the office or with my family? The answer is different for everyone.

We all strive to be the best spouse, parent, child, neighbor, provider, student, athlete, and so forth that we can be. However, the truth is that we can’t excel at everything. Something always suffers. There have been times when I put too much emphasis on certain aspects of my life and let those activities control me. As a result, other interests suffered. There have been times when my social life took precedence. There have been times when athletics – in my case cycling – has dominated. For years, my career was all consuming. In each case, I was lucky enough to recognize that I was out of balance and forced myself to re-center. My wife continues to remind me that the right answer is, “everything in moderation”.

We first learned this lesson when we were children. We quickly learned that too much ice cream or candy would lead to a stomach ache. We learned that too much television would give us a headache. Throughout our lives we are reminded that too much of anything is a bad idea. However, we live in a society that glorifies excess. The benchmark for what we consider “success” is often unachievable for most people. This causes many of us to stay on a treadmill and not only feel like a failure in our area of focus, but clearly feel like a failure in the areas that we have chosen to sacrifice and ignore.

It is interesting that while we all understand the issue and know the answer, we chose to ignore the solution. Most of us recognize we would be much happier having a healthy balance in our lives of work, family, education, spirituality, exercise, and so on. I would rather be good in all areas, then great in one and poor in all the others. The best answer is – almost always – a healthy balance.

I will close with a story attributed to the Dalai Lama that summarizes the point very well…

A question was posed to the Dalai Lama – “what one thing about human nature surprises you the most?” His answer – “Man”
”Because he sacrifices his health, in order to make money.
Then he sacrifices his money, to recuperate his health.
And then he is so anxious about the future, that he doesn’t enjoy the present.
And as a result, he doesn’t live in the present or the future.
And he lives as if he’s never going to die, and then he dies having never really lived.”

Find your balance and enjoy the ride – all of it, not just one part of it.
The Value of A Simple Red Light
Most companies are continually managing the lifecycles of their key products. Marketing teams are researching industry trends, looking for new opportunities. Engineering departments are developing new products to satisfy market requirements. Product teams are sustaining existing products by introducing incremental enhancements. Finally, older products are being removed from the market to make room for newer models. The cycle never ends.

Unfortunately, this ongoing cycle often becomes unmanageable. Watching companies manage their product life cycles is often like watching a dog chase it’s tail. More and more products are pushed into the development pipeline to where the engineers can never deliver on time. The cycle times are compressed and a proper product launch program never seems possible. Products are removed from the market before they reach maturity and are fully accepted by the consumer. The result is that companies deliver products that are of marginal success.

Companies often talk about “product velocity”, or the ability to introduce products on a steady cadence – and most importantly – faster than their competition. I would argue that most customers don’t care about product velocity. They are more interested in getting product value and solutions that solve their problems.
As an example, most of us have smoke detectors in our houses. We have a total of eight in our house. Every time a battery needs to be replaced the unit creates a beep to indicate that the battery is low. One would think that this simple chirping would help isolate the unit in question. However, most of you know exactly what I am talking about. I have honestly had my entire family stand in different locations of the house in complete silence waiting for the alarm to chirp, trying to identify which unit needs a battery. It is one of the more frustrating challenges in life.

I would like to meet the marketing/engineering team that designed the chirping mechanism. I would ask a few questions:

Why don’t the alarms chirp on a regular interval? I’ve stood for 10 minutes waiting for an alarm to chirp. I leave the room and then it chips multiple times within a 2-minute period. Other times the chirping has stopped for hours. The interval seems to be entirely random.

Wouldn’t it have been logical to have the chirping continue for more than 3 milliseconds so that the consumer had time to find the failing unit? A 5-second chirp would have been very useful.

How were you able to design a chirping noise that has no sense of directionality? Almost every other noise known to man can be identified by location.
How were you able to design a unit that would run out of battery power at 2:00am – every single time? Wouldn’t the laws of random behavior allow it to begin chirping mid-day – just once?

Putting an expiration on the unit was probably a smart move. I am sure that this improves the life-saving capability of the product (as well as helps you sell more units). However, making the 8-10 year automatic expiration chirp the same tone as the battery-low indicator was just cruel. After replacing the battery in every unit in my house, I finally found an article on the Internet telling me that if the unit continues to chirp after inserting a new battery, then your unit may have reached it’s expiration date and need to be replaced entirely. Couldn’t you have used a different sound to indicate this?

Most importantly – Is it too much to ask for the unit to have a red light indicating that the battery is low?

Using very rough calculations, I figure that most families have five or more smoke detectors per home. Lets assume that one of these units needs a new battery every year. I would estimate that I waste about 30 minutes each time I replace a battery trying to figure out which smoke detector is chirping. The U.S. Government Census estimates that there are 114,825,428 households in the U.S. alone. A simple red light would save 57,412,714 hours of time. If we calculate the value of time using minimum wage ($8.00/hour in California), then adding a red light would save U.S. households a total of $459,301,712. Maybe you don’t agree with my math, but you get the point.

Most company’s product strategies focus on outflanking the competition and forget to listen to the customer. Sometimes all the customer really wants is a simple red light indicating that a battery needs to be replaced. One day a young marketing trainee will make this suggestion and put all the other smoke detector companies out of business. We will tell our grandchildren stories about how we used to run around the house cussing at the smoke detectors trying to find the one that is beeping. And they will respond with, “That’s silly! Didn’t smoke detectors always have a red-light?”

Success – The Value of Relevance and Longevity

I have been lucky enough to know, and work with, a lot of “successful” business people in my career. I was able to meet and work with the founders of Network Appliance (NetApp) when they were just a small startup in San Jose, CA. I worked for a company who had Ray Noorda (the founder of Novell) as the chairman of the board and was able to interface with him many times. I worked with many dot-com startups who made millions “overnight”. I also worked with many other successful business people who never had home runs, but were able to string together a series of singles, doubles and triples and do just as well as the dot-com overnight successes.
I’ve tried to learn something from everyone I worked with. The obvious question is what makes someone successful? The truth is that it is often simply being in the “right place at the right time”. However, I firmly believe that luck is simply preparation and opportunity coming together at the right time. If you aren’t prepared and you don’t create opportunities, then “luck” or “being in the right place at the right time” never happens.

However, the more interesting topic for me, is how best to define a “successful” career. The people I have come to admire the most, are not the “overnight successes”. Certainly, I have known some very successful individuals who have built valuable startups, sold them, and essentially retired before they were 40 (or in some cases before they were 30). While impressive, many of these individuals spent the next decade or so miserable because they couldn’t repeat the same success. I know a few who felt that they could easily repeat the earlier accomplishments. They put their fortunes back into startups – or other investments – and lost millions of dollars very quickly. Others simply bounced from project to project and slowly spent their fortunes.

My point is that a single home run in one’s career, is not nearly as impressive as a sustained record of ongoing singles and doubles. Everyone’s career will have peaks and valleys. The ability to fail, pick one’s self back up and have another success is what makes you successful. It takes intestinal fortitude. A career is not a sprint. It is a marathon. As every endurance-athlete knows, you have tremendous peaks and valleys during your event. There are times you want to quit, and times you believe you may set a record. The key is to keep going.

The business people that I am most impressed with are the ones who remain relevant over the long term. They are the ones who have longevity. I have a business colleague who I am proud to call a friend. We will call him “Al”. I met him in the mid-90’s. He was a consultant to a company I was working for. Everyone in the company respected him and recognized we were lucky to have him working with us. Most people expected him to be retiring at any time, but we hoped that he would continue to work with us. I spoke to him recently and he told me that he was finally retiring – not because he wasn’t in demand, but because he had other personal projects that he wanted to focus on. He is now well into his 80’s. I have tremendous admiration for people who can continue to add value and be relevant late into their career. This most difficult today when business processes are changing so quickly.
In closing, I can’t think of a better example to illustrate my point of longevity and relevance than Johnny Cash. It is well documented that Johnny Cash’s career was filled with tremendous successes and failures. He struggled with self-doubt. He struggled with legal issues. He struggled with relationships. He struggled with drugs and alcohol. However, he continued to pick up the pieces and work. He continued to find a way to be relevant.

At 71 years of age, Johnny Cash did a remake of the Trent Reznor (of the band Nine Inch Nails) song, “Hurt”. Cash found a way of using his musical genius to make the song his own. His video is both gripping and haunting as he looks back on his own career. Both the song and the video were a tremendous success for him, receiving both critical and public praise. Johnny Cash died 7 months later. In his last days, he proved that he was still relevant, not only to his existing fans, but to a whole new generation. He also set an incredible standard for career longevity.
Did you hear that?

No, you probably didn’t. Unfortunately, most of us don’t. It is because we aren’t listening. The noise I am referring to is the chatter of your customers. Most executives, marketeers and sales people are too busy “running to the business” to listen to their customers. It sounds a little silly doesn’t it? However, admit it. It is true.

Don’t get me wrong. We all try. We all go to trade shows and listen to the occasional customer who is willing to share their thoughts. We listen to customers during sales calls – but in reality, we are simply trying to close the next deal. We listen to customers during customer support episodes – but if we were honest, we are really focusing on damage control.

No, I am talking about really “listening” to customers. Listening to their conversations. The chatter is happening all the time. Much of it is on the web. The real power-users of your products and services are in chat-rooms, communities, blogs, LinkedIn, Twitter, and so forth. They are having conversations – good and bad about your products. They are sharing tips, solutions, favorite features, and yes, horror stories. These communities of users are marketing your products for you through their conversations. They are promoting your products in some cases, and trashing your products in others. They are defining your brand in a far more powerful way than you are with your well thought out brand strategy.

By listening to your customers, you can leverage your customer’s efforts. You can respond to problems and amplify the positive messages. You can learn from their ideas about new features. You can empower the vocal users to be ambassadors of your brand. You can create a dynamic feedback loop that is constantly providing input to your sales and marketing efforts, rather than a one-time study that is costly and occurs twice a year – at best. You can test market product ideas and strategies with your customers in real-time. And most importantly, you can embrace your most important asset – your customers.

Are you listening? What are they saying?

Simple Rules To Being a “Leader”

Leadership is a topic that most people have a difficult time explaining. Those who are good at it, can’t explain why. Those who are poor at it, believe they are doing all the right things. I would like to share three simple rules that seem to be consistent among both good and bad leaders.

I believe the biggest challenge leaders face, is determining their role in the organization. The best leaders seem to be able to recognize that the company’s success is not dependent on them, but on the entire organization. The company is a living and breathing entity, and their job is to “enable” the company, rather than to “drive” the company.

Rule 1: Establish and clearly communicate both short- and long-term goals. Strong leaders are able to set a path and make sure everyone in the company from the executive leadership team to the front desk receptionist knows where they are going, what needs to take place, and what the rewards will be. They make sure everyone feels a part of the company’s success. Many people believe that stock options should be limited to executives and middle management. I believe everyone in the company should be issued stock options, so that they feel a part of the team and are empowered to drive the company goals.

Rule 2: Remove Obstacles – Early in my career during an annual review, my boss told me that his job was to remove obstacles so that I could be successful. This impressed me. He understood that if his team was successful, he would be successful. Too many managers are focused on their own success, rather than the department or company success. They need to be secure enough to understand that they will be successful if their team is successful.

Rule 3: Establish Trust and Open Communication – More leaders fail because of this one issue than any of the others. Many leaders are excellent at managing up. They communicate with their superiors very well and share information freely. However, when it comes to their own staff, there is a glass ceiling. No information is shared and the trust and mutual respect breaks down. People will not follow someone that they do not respect and trust. Successful leaders surround themselves with qualified managers and then establish mutual trust and communication.

“A leader is most effective when people barely know he exists. When his work is done, his aim fulfilled, his troops will feel they did it themselves.” – Lao Tzu
Action Item: Stress occurs in people when they feel they don’t control their destiny. They believe they don’t know what to do to succeed, or it doesn’t matter what they do, it won’t make a difference. Empower your team to be successful. Tell them where to charge, remove the obstacles and develop mutual respect and trust.
Strategic Planning 101 – Why most efforts fail and how to avoid the most common mistakes!

In difficult economic times like this, when most companies are struggling, many are turning to the strategic planning process to address revenue, organizational, personnel and vendor challenges. My definition of strategic planning is as follows:
“Strategic planning is both a process and a discipline that enables an organization to concentrate its limited resources on mutually predetermined, measurable objectives. The purpose is to make decisions before the future either forces decisions or renders them irrelevant.”

This loosely translates to “make some good decisions before you run the company into the ground!” The problem is that many companies implement a poorly designed strategic planning process and do not address the real issues. To illustrate, I will borrow a parable from “The three laws of performance” by Steve Zaffron and Dave Logan (see my recommended reading list).

An old man was walking home late one night when he saw a friend on his hands and knees under a streetlight, searching for something. “What are you doing?” he asked his friend. “I dropped the key to my house.” “I’ll help you look.” After a few minutes of frustrated searching, the old man asked, “Where exactly were you when you dropped this key?” His friend pointed toward the darkness. “Over there.” “Then why are you looking for it here?” “Because this is where the light is.”

I think that this simple story eloquently demonstrates the problem. We tend to search for answers to our problems in places where it’s easy to look, rather than in the dark, unfamiliar (and often uncomfortable) hidden places.

The Strategic Planning Process

As my graphic indicates, there is a sequence of steps that need to be taken to properly implement a strategic planning session. One of the most important is to “decide” to plan, to dedicate the proper resources and to establish management commitment to dive into the difficult areas. In my experience, this is one of the most critical and most difficult steps. Therefore, it is often the Achilles’ heal of most planning sessions.

Let’s be honest, strategic planning is difficult. Many companies attempt it. They spend 2-3 (or more) days offsite. They put together a plan and get it nicely bound. The board approves it, and they file it away and forget about it. This demonstrates a commitment to the session, but not to the process. The exceptions are the companies who actually execute the plan. This is 10 times harder than actually building the plan! There must be an full-understanding and commitment to the entire process from top-down for the effort to be successful.

I will write more on strategic planning in future blogs, but let me close with one of my favorite stories on “commitment”. After landing his invasion forces on the shore, the Spanish explorer, Hernan Cortes immediately burned his own boats. It sent a message to his troops. “We can’t turn back. Either we succeed or we die. Excuses are not an option!” Whether it is an urban myth or true, it is a great example of commitment to a goal.

Action Item: If you are thinking about implementing a strategic planning session, research and implement a formal process. Do not go into the session without proper up-front planning and commitment. Consider using an outside facilitator with experience in strategic planning to lead the session.

The Journey or the Destination? Why do we always seem to get it wrong?

Which is more important, the journey or the destination? It all depends on your goals.

Throughout life, we are constantly reminded that we should focus on the journey, not the destination. Every book I have read about life management has reminded me that I need to live in the present. My wife reminds me of this fact almost daily. However, what do I do? I spend my life focusing on planning family vacations, career opportunities, college funds, and retirement. I am missing out on the present. The bottom line – I spend far too little time enjoying a simple family dinner, reading with my daughter, or playing a game of basketball with my two sons. Keeping a balance is an ongoing challenge. In our personal lives, the goal is to enjoy the present. The goal is not to rush to the finish line. I don’t know about you, but I am not in any rush to get to the end. However, we all tend to focus on rushing through our lives and getting to the end. Why do we focus on the wrong goal?
In business, we are programmed to set objectives, create measurable results and drive toward the goal. However, we all tend to lose sight of the goal and spend an incredible amount of energy focusing on the journey. Corporate bureaucracy can become paralyzing. How many times have you reached the end of the week and said, “I worked incredibly hard and I can’t point to anything I accomplished!” Too many organizations have difficulty focusing on the goal at hand. There is a human tendency to need to stay busy, and this is particularly evident in the corporate world. We surround ourselves with meetings, report-outs, planning sessions and 1-on-1 sessions to provide the illusion of importance and productivity.

How many times have you questioned a colleague’s work because they seemed to cut corners? They borrowed someone else’s template. They leveraged pre-existing work without putting in the “sweat-equity” and you felt resentful. As long as they didn’t steal the template, or use erroneous data to draw conclusions – good for them! As one of my managers once said to me, “never confuse effort with results”. Again, why do we focus on the wrong goal?

Action Item: Take a piece of paper and fold it in half vertically. On the left side, list your top three goals for the week. Under each one, list the key steps necessary to accomplish each goal. Then on the right side of the paper, list all the activities you have planned for the week. Circle the activities that directly correlate to your necessary steps on the left side of the page. Draw a line under the items that are required for your job. Draw a line through everything else. Now go back to the items that you drew a line under and determine if they can be eliminated or delegated to someone else. You will be surprised how your week will open up. Finally…, go back and complete your goals!

Business Lessons We Can Learn From Lance Armstrong

With the 2009 Tour de France beginning today — on July 4th, I can’t help but write an article on Lance Armstrong. For those of you who know me, I am a passionate cyclist and it would be out of character to ignore this opportunity.
One of the many things I like about cycling is that it clears my head and allows me to think through my challenges (or opportunities). The routine pedal strokes and breathing put you in a state of mind that is very similar to meditation. While I ride, I have the opportunity to work through many business issues. I have been surprised how many parallels I have noticed between business and cycling.

The following is a summary of some of the most important ones:

Clearly define your goal – Over the years, Lance has been criticized for not competing in more races throughout the season. Many professional cyclists ride far more races prior to the Tour de France than Lance. However, Armstrong has been very clear that his goal is to win the Tour de France. He focuses his entire effort on that single goal. Define your goal up front. Get out of businesses that don’t make sense. It can be very difficult to walk away from revenue. However, if it distracts you from your primary goal, then “just say no”.

Don’t start without a strategy – Are you a hill-climber or a sprinter? Will you attack early in the race, or late in the stage? Every business needs to establish a strategy up front. However, be willing to adjust as the race progresses.
Pick a great set of coaches and then listen to them – Lance has a large staff of coaches and advisors. Yes, he is a professional with years of experience. However, he also listens to the experts. Build a board of directors and board of advisors that you trust and then listen to them.

Pick the right team and then trust them – Armstrong surrounds himself with what he believes is the best cycling team in the world. The thing many people don’t understand about the Tour de France is how important the team becomes. They break the wind so that Lance can “draft” off of them and use up to 30% less energy. They protect him from the other riders. They bring him food and water. Your executive and departmental team is just as important.

Pick the right equipment – Armstrong rides on state-of-the-art equipment. His engineers have invented new gear that gives him specific competitive advantages. Make sure you are leveraging every appropriate piece of business technology.
Use state-of-the art techniques – New cycling techniques are developing constantly. Some work and some don’t. However, cyclists test new methodologies relentlessly. In business we need to do the same. Don’t ignore social networking because you think it is a fad or a waste of time. Investigate it and then make your own determination once you have the facts.

Train/prepare appropriately – There is no excuse for poor preparation.
Understand the course – Armstrong is known for training on the Tour de France course itself. He trains for months on the same course he will be racing. Understand your business plan and be clear what the course will look like.

Understand the environment – As much as you prepare, you can’t always anticipate bad weather. Understand your market. It will change like the weather, but if you plan for contingencies, you will have cold/warm weather gear available.

Research your competition – There are 20 teams racing in the Tour. Lance and his team (Astana) know every other team and rider as well as they possibly can. You need to know your competition equally well.

Take calculated risks – No successful executive or business owner has reached their goal by sitting back and being careful. Lance doesn’t sit at the back of the pack. He attacks the stages. However, his attacks are calculated against the risk profile. Take business risks, but only when the benefit outweighs the risk.
Pick your battles – The Tour is 21 stages long. The teams have detailed strategies on which stages to win and which to sit back. Business is the same. You can’t win every battle. However, you can win the important ones.

Pace yourself – The 2009 Tour is a total of 2,175 miles. Whether you are riding the tour or working toward a specific business goal – pace yourself or you will burn out.

Be humble – Many people think that Lance has won because he is super-human. The truth is that he is a phenomenal athlete. However, he is the first person to tell you that he has won because he has surrounded himself with an excellent team, world-class coaches, leading sponsors and then has been better prepared than any other rider. Lance would not — and will not — win the tour without his supporting cast. Any successful business executive will tell you the same thing.

Whether you are riding in the Tour de France, a cycling century (100 mile ride) or just around the neighborhood, it is a journey. Leading your business to success is no different. Don’t cut corners – make sure you are prepared. With a lot of preparation and a little luck, you will be holding the trophy at the end.

Building your Personal Brand

Corporate Roles have changed and how we all must prepare ourselves for this new corporate world. Today, I want to discuss the topic of personal branding. With respect to the job market and your career, personal branding is a means of defining and promoting your skills, strengths and interests in an effort to raise yourself above the white noise.

Define your Objective – Before you do anything, sit down and determine what you are trying to accomplish. People create a personal brand for many reasons, but in this case, let’s assume you are trying to create a professional brand that will establish you as a leader in your chosen field. This seems simple, but remember that people are successful if they have both the ability and the passion to succeed. Make sure that the brand you want to promote is both of these. Be as specific as possible (e.g., public relations manager for small to medium sized technology firms). Think about what defines you and separates you from the pack. How do you want people to see you?

Discover your Current Brand – Next you need to understand what brand you have today. Remember that everyone has a brand. If you ask your colleagues to describe you, what would they say? I firmly believe that none of us "own" our own brand. The market owns the brand. The market determines what our brand is. I can say that my brand is that of a “Business Management, Marketing, Leadership and Social Media Expert”. The truth is that you, the reader of this blog will decide what my brand is after you read this (and hopefully other ) articles. All I can do is promote, and hopefully influence, your perception of my brand.

Define your Messaging – Once you know what your current brand is (e.g., mid-level marketing manager) and what you want it to be (e.g., social media expert), then you can begin to define your messaging. What will you do to change the market perception of you from your “current” to your “target” brand? What will you communicate to the marketplace to define your brand? Will you promote your skills in a specific area? Will you give examples of your knowledge? Will you position yourself as a resource to others?

Choose your Tools – There are an overwhelming number of tools at your disposal to begin to brand yourself. My advice is to choose carefully because each tool has a unique value. Talk to others who have used them and determine what value they provide and how much effort is necessary. Remember that some of them can be a huge resource drain.

In my opinion, some of the best tools for building a personal business brand are as follows:

Social Media
LinkedIn – This is the single best tool at your disposal to define your business brand. Fully build your profile and keep it current.
Facebook – Determine quickly if you are going to separate your business brand from your personal brand. If you don’t want business associates seeing your college photos in Mexico, then secure your Facebook page or keep it professional.
Twitter – The power of Twitter is only beginning to be defined. Create a Twitter feed and use it to define your brand and cross-link back to your other online sites.
Blog – Your blog becomes your online profile. Make sure you cross-link between your blog, LinkedIn, Twitter, and other online sites.
VisualCV – This is a powerful tool to create an online resume, separate from your LinkedIn profile.
Email Signature – This is often overlooked. Create an email signature with hyperlinks to your LinkedIn profile, Twitter feed, VisualCV, and blog.
Physical
Resume, Biography, Transition document – These are all useful documents for different audiences. The transition document should be a single page targeted at people you will network with who may be able to help your career.
Business Cards – Create a separate business card from your full-time job that defines your brand. Include all your social media contacts (e.g., LinkedIn, Twitter, Blog, etc.)Face-To-Face

Never forget the importance of face-to-face communications. We sell ourselves best in person, not online or on the phone. Make sure that you attend networking events, find opportunities to speak on panels, and simply meet with colleagues 1-on-1 from time to time.
Implement your Plan – Now that you have defined your objective, messaging and tools, it is time to implement. My advice is to set realistic goals for yourself. It is easy to get overwhelmed. Start simple and build from there. Once you begin, listen to the feedback. Is your LinkedIn profile getting traffic? Are your blog postings resonating and getting comments? Learn from the feedback – both positive and negative. Create a two-way dialog with your target audience. Make sure you respond to people who take the time to comment on your blog. Always be sincere and helpful. You will make mistakes, but if you are sincere and helpful to your network, you should be fine. Finally, be consistent. The effort you put into building a brand will fade quickly if you do not continue the effort. By setting realistic goals, you should be able to continue your branding effort regardless of your workload. It simply becomes a part of your normal career.

Remember, your network and your personal brand are the two things you carry with you from job to job. With a little planning and effort, they will pay huge dividends. Good luck, and let me know how I can help…

What is the Correct Definition of “Success”?

The dictionary defines success as, “suc•cess (noun), the accomplishment of an aim or purpose”. Buried a little deeper in the definition, is the reference to, “a person who attains profit or prosperity”. At what point, did the definition of “success” become so aligned with net worth? I remember a line in a movie when I was very young where an overly aggressive executive made the comment that “net worth was a way of keeping score”. I can’t recall the movie, but it created a lot of debate, because at the time, it was inappropriate to discuss your net worth, salary or success in business. Much later, in the 1987 movie “Wall Street”, the character Gordon Gekko created the infamous line, “Greed is Good!” Throughout the 80s and 90s it felt like society embraced Gordon Gekko’s philosophy, and materialism reset the definition of success. We have reached a point where if someone comments that an individual is “very successful”; we assume it means they are very wealthy. We never ask what they are successful at, because we assume the reference is to wealth. The only question is, “how did they make their fortune?”

It was not always this way. There was a time when you could be a successful artist, athlete, mentor, volunteer, parent, teacher and yes, businessman. I have recently posted a number of articles discussing the changing corporate world and after a great deal of discussion, I believe one of the key factors driving this change is our new definition of success. When the singular focus of our careers is to attain prosperity, everything else becomes a distraction. Activities that don’t add to our net worth are considered a waste of time, and the “ends justify the means” seems to be a daily rationalization.

Many people will argue that this is not a recent phenomenon and that business has always been a cutthroat environment. This may be true, however today it seems to permeate the entire family. It feels to me that our advertising and marketing efforts have unfortunately succeeded, and we are all more materialistic and consumer focused than a generation or two ago.

Regardless of whether this is a new phenomenon, I am interested in how our definition of success has affected our corporate cultures. When I look back on the companies I have worked for and think about the cultures, I see dramatic differences. I worked for a company early in my career where the company was truly a family. I loved the people I worked with and appreciated the bonds, the mentorship and executive leadership. The company peaked and essentially fell off the radar over 20 years ago. However, employees still meet every Friday the 13th at a specified location for reunions. Most people look back on that experience as one of the best in their career. On the other hand, when I think about the company where I made the most money in my career, the culture was terrible. The only reason any of us stayed was that we were paid exceptionally well. There was no moral compass within the organization and the stress levels were incredibly high. There are no reunions and no one would attend if they were organized.

There was a time when success meant more than the bottom line. It meant building teams of highly motivated people. Individuals were proud to work for the company because it was an energizing environment. The board of directors, the executive leadership team, middle management and every employee in the company understood that we were part of a family, and that the people were the most important asset. This was not a slogan, but a true belief. Companies focused on training their employees and nurturing skill sets. Organizations offered back to the community, not as a public relations ploy, but because they knew it was the right thing to do. Companies did everything they could do to avoid layoffs, rather than using it as a tool to increase profits.

Do we really have the right definition of “success”, or is there a definition that is more accurate – and in the long run, will be more effective at driving world-class companies? Can profitability be a byproduct of companies being “successful” at creating a positive culture of growth, support, integrity and respect?

Business Integrity and Respect

Given the current job market, I have been thinking lately about how limited the classic resume is in terms of communicating personal characteristics such as integrity, respect and passion. It is unfortunate that the first review of candidates is based entirely on a piece of paper that is one-dimensional. This reinforces the argument that we all need to vuild a strong netwrok so that we have internal sponsors who can verbally communicate some of our personal values.
On a recent blog post, I received a comment that offered an outstanding quote on Integrity. It was a quote from 1998, by a Captain Conway, a platoon commander at the USMC’s Officer Candidate School. He said, “Integrity is like virginity. Once you lose it, you can never get it back.” In my opinion, this is very accurate. I see too many people in business, that are willing to compromise their integrity and business ethics – “just this one time”. It is as if it is a white lie and the ends-justify-the-means. The problem with this approach is that it is a very slippery slope. You do it once and the next time is much easier. We read every day about the executive who siphoned hundreds of thousands (or millions) of dollars out of the company. It seems each time, they started with a forged business dinner and that turned into a forged business trip and the rest is history.

The other issue is that your reputation cannot be repaired. We have all worked with, and known people in business who have demonstrated that they will cut corners and walk over people – as needed. This may have been effective for them in the short term, but it clearly tarnished their reputation in most people’s eyes. This is extremely difficult to repair.

Respect is another critical business element. There are plenty of examples of great political, military and business leaders who ruled with a draconian fist and were extremely effective. However, I can point to twice as many business leaders who built an environment of trust and respect that were just as effective. Leading soldiers into battle and leading employees in business are two different activities. Employees can quit and get a different job or worse yet, they can ignore or undermine you. I recognize that every leader has a different style. However, research has shown, leaders do not need to be feared to be effective. Treating a team with respect and building a positive culture will produce greater value in the long run. Employees who have gained the respect of their manager, feel good about their contribution and are able to go home to their families with their heads held high are far more effective than employees who are yelled at and talked down to. No project or job is more important than an individual’s self-esteem.
There was a time when employees stayed with companies for 20 years and felt they needed to put up with the difficult boss. Today, they have options and have no problem leaving. Building a positive culture of integrity and respect are critical to motivating and retaining talent. Your thoughts?

Follow the Herd or Follow the Puck?
My two sons (5th and 6th grade) love to play basketball. Recently, we got into a discussion about rebounding. Why are some NBA players so good at rebounding, when others seem to always be in the wrong place? I reminded them of Wayne Gretzky’s quote on why he is such a good hockey player – “A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.” Great NBA rebounders play the same way. They have an uncanny way of knowing where the ball will rebound. Human nature is to run to the hoop, but if you watch Kobe Bryant, he often stands outside the crowd and somehow knows the ball will rebound directly to him.

Business leadership is the same way. It is easy to follow the herd and emulate the competition. Most companies spend a lot of time on competitive analysis to anticipate and often copy their competitor’s products. We create websites that match our favorite competitor. We copy their campaigns and trade show booth designs. We build products that are very similar to theirs. This type of “herd mentality” creates excellent second-place players. However, none of us want to be in second place.

What is difficult is to stand alone on the court with conviction that the ball will come to us. Identifying where the ball will go – or in this case where the market will go takes vision, but positioning your company in that direction when everyone else is moving in the other direction is counter-intuitive. It is difficult to build a product that is unique and unexpected by the market. It is difficult to create a website that stands out from the others. It is difficult to create a new and untried channel of distribution or sales promotion. However, this is how first place players are created. To be fair, the “first to market” often fails and the “second to market” often learns from the failures of the first, to create a cheaper, better, faster version that ultimately becomes successful. However, the 20 or so other players who stayed in the safe mature market simply emulating the leader, or making small incremental improvements over the prior version, rarely become cover page successes.

The bottom line is that it takes conviction, passion, nerve and just a little bit of insanity to step outside our comfort zones to take the risk. However, once in a while, it is well worth it. The following video is a humorous look at a real world example of leadership. One person steps out from the crowd and makes a fool of himself. After a while a few others decide to join him. Finally, there is a tipping point where everyone wants to be a part of the action. This is how most leaders start out. Take a chance. Think differently. It may pay off!

“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.” — Theodore Roosevelt

Business Lessons From A Wise Old Fisherman
For those of you that follow my blog, you know that I write about my Grandpa Joe from time to time. What stands out about Grandpa Joe is that he was one of the happiest people I have ever met. He had a phenomenal sense of humor and could work a room of adults and/or children equally well. One of the reasons he was happy is that he had a great passion – fishing. He lived in Minnesota (known as “The Land of 10,000 Lakes”) and his world revolved around fishing. As a young lad, I learned that everything you need to know about the world, you could learn from fishing.
One of the lessons he taught me was “timing”. Fishing is all about timing. You need to be at the lake, river or stream when the fish are hungry. This is a lesson that most of us forget in business. We launch products or introduce marketing campaigns and spend little, or no time strategizing whether the “fish are hungry”. Never underestimate your target audience.

I, like most young boys, didn’t understand patience until I spent time with my grandfather. Fishing is all about patience. You can sit for hours without a nibble. However, you are learning the whole time. You learn from your mistakes. You try different spots. You try different bait. You try different tackle. In the end, you may hit big or you may walk away. Yet, throughout the day, you learned a tremendous amount. Don’t waste your efforts. Learn something from every endeavor.

On the other hand, you also need to know when to walk away. Only a fool will continue to fish in a spot that has no fish. My grandpa, being an accomplished practical joker, would send people to fish a pond that had no fish in it. They would come back complaining that they didn’t get a single bite. The next day Joe would come home with a string of fish and claim he caught them from that pond, and his buddy would be back the following day – wasting his time again. All the while, Grandpa Joe knew that the pond was empty. He loved having a “victim” to play a joke on.
We all need to know when to walk away from a deal. Customers, venture capitalists, vendors, partners and even employees will do the same thing. They can string you on and become a resource drain. You never hear “no”. You simply get a stall-tactic, such as a request for more information. I don’t believe they are as malicious as my grandfather. However, I think of him often in these situations and realize that he was right. You need to know when to walk away.

Finally, you need to realize that the “fish are biting right now” – as you read this. I would always ask my grandfather, “when is the best time to fish”, expecting him to give me a sophisticated and complicated answer. He would always say, “right now!” There is never a better time to get started than right now. Opportunities surround us, yet we become experts at finding reasons not to proceed. Your customers have needs and are talking to your competitors right now. The fish are biting. Others are catching the fish. Shouldn’t you grab your pole and get your fair share?

Don’t Worship a Hero, Become One.

It is easy to sit back and point to individuals who have accomplished great things and turn them into mythical legends. We tend to do this throughout our careers. It can be as simple as the sales guy in the northeast region who closed the company’s largest deal last quarter, or it can be the captain of the industry who turned around the failing company to create a market leader.

In business, we continue to find excuses for missing our goals. We point to the lack of leadership within the company. We point to the individual within the company who is a roadblock to success. We remember companies we have worked for who had great teams and great leaders and wonder why we don’t have the same in our current company. We look to leading companies in our market and wish for similar opportunities. It is easy to find a reason to give up and simply go through the motions without really trying.

It is far easier to point to someone else who has reached an accomplishment and convince yourself that they are a brilliant strategist, entrepreneur and/or leader, than to simply believe that they worked exceptionally hard to reach their goal.
If we believe that they were no better skilled than any of us, then we have to admit that we simply are not trying hard enough. That is an uncomfortable thought for many of us. The ironic fact is that often when we meet the leaders within our industry, we are let down by how “ordinary” they are. In many cases, they are less than ordinary.

There is a famous quote by Marianne Williamson where she explains that we are more afraid of our ability to succeed than our ability to fail, “…it is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure….”

What would happen if we stepped out and attempted those great things? Rather than complaining that no one is leading the critical team at the office or tackling the nightmare challenge, why not step up and own it yourself? What is the worst thing that would happen? Would it be more terrifying for you to fail or to succeed? If we are honest with ourselves, in many cases success is more intimidating than failure. Failure means that we are right where we started. Success means that people will be looking to you to succeed again on the next challenge.
Most of us have people in business that we admire. They may be famous for being the CEO of a successful company. They may be known for being an entrepreneur and changing an industry. They may have led a new industry trend such as social media. The common denominator is that they had a vision and the passion to work hard to achieve it. The other common element is that most of them failed several times before they succeeded.

Rather than worshiping a hero, step out and become one…

Inspiration

I was thinking the other day about what makes some business teams thrive and others struggle. They can have equal talent, equal resources, and equal tasks – yet some seem to be energized and others get “stuck in the mud”. I’ve come to the conclusion that much of this is due to an elusive element known as “inspiration”.

Inspiration is what gets us out of bed in the morning. It is what helps us create the new marketing plan. It is what causes us to lead the new team at the office. It is what wakes us up in the middle of the night with the design change that will give the new product line its competitive advantage. Inspiration comes at unlikely moments and from unexpected places. It is difficult to create from scratch, and some people seem to have an uncanny way of finding it and duplicating it.

This weekend I went for my usual bike ride. As I rode my 50-mile route into a headwind, I started wondering why I had decided to go for a ride when I could be laying on the couch reading the paper and drinking coffee. To motivate myself, I usually look for a rider ahead of me and then try to chase them down and pass them. As luck would have it, I saw a rider about a half-mile ahead and began to go after them. The closer I got, I could tell it was a female. She was clearly a strong rider because from behind, she had tremendous form. On a road bike you try to reduce wind resistance by keeping your arms and legs close to the frame. Her lower body was very surprisingly well aligned. As I got closer to her, I realized why. She had one leg. Her left leg was completely missing. It had been amputated at the hip. Suddenly, my complaining about the wind, the hills and any other challenges seemed silly. Here was rider with one leg, riding a very challenging course and keeping a very good pace.

When I caught her I looked over, but before I could say anything she said, “Good Morning!” There was not a sign of pain or struggle on her face. Her smile was sincere and heartfelt. You could tell, she actually meant to wish me a good morning. I was so inspired by her, that I said the first thing that came to mind, “You too! You Rock!” Not the most eloquent thing to say, but it was the best I could do.
She reminded me that inspiration can come from anywhere. People find it in their co-workers, in sports athletes and celebrities, in their faith, in their families, in business books and many other places. It is usually unexpected and it is almost always free. Unfortunately, we often miss it because we are busy looking elsewhere.
The girl riding with one leg in Santiago Canyon inspired me more than she will ever know. She reminded me that we can all help each other in very simple ways. Stay inspired and do your best to inspire others to reach their goals. It is the positive energy that helps us achieve more than we believe we ever could.

The Importance of a Positive Culture

Depending on the source, statistics show that anywhere from 7 to 9 out of 10 startup companies fail within 5 years of their founding. In today’s challenging economic markets, mature companies are failing left and right. Household-named companies who seemed rock-solid and a part of the country’s fabric, are also disappearing.
What differentiates those who fail from those who succeed? Generally, those who succeed are “firing on all cylinders”. Clearly, I am generalizing and we can always point to companies who succeed despite themselves. However, when you look at highly successful companies, they are typically running at very high levels of efficiency. They have maximized their probability of success by removing those obstacles that they can control and are leveraging every asset within their control.

A brilliant CEO cannot make a company successful all alone. A world-class executive team can’t either. It takes an entire company working in unison. Mobilizing a company cannot happen through fear and intimidation over the long haul. Yes, short-term targets can be hit, but over time the company will implode.
What makes great companies and attracts the best talent is a great culture. A culture of collaboration, creativity, strong work ethic, transparency, trust, integrity and honesty creates a foundation for success. Executive teams often ask, “why can’t we attract and retain world-class talent?” They wonder, “why do the employees leave at 5:00pm?” They struggle with the fact that employees “don’t think creatively and offer up good suggestions.” Often, this is because employees don’t feel empowered and part of the team. When the company takes a draconian approach to management and creates an environment of fear and uncertainty to drive employees, the results are exactly what you would expect – marginal at best.

Companies understand the need to get maximum efficiency out of each employee. Yet they often do exactly the opposite through their actions. To leverage your most important resource – your employees – treat them with respect and build trust through your actions. Create a culture of success not through transparent statements and banners, but through actions. Hire the best talent possible and then empower your employees to do their job, rather than be micro-managed. Trust them to make the right decisions and understand that they will make mistakes. You will be surprised how few mistakes they make. Create an environment where employees are not afraid to make mistakes, but rather they recognize the value of learning from the mistakes.
I have had the fortune of meeting many successful CEOs in my career and the common theme is simple. “I couldn’t have done it without surrounding myself with a great team, both executives and general employees. Hire the best team possible. Empower them to do their job well. Treat them the way you would want to be treated.”
One Employee Can Make the Difference

My 12-year-old son returned from a week of summer camp today. On the way home he stopped telling stories just long enough to ask, “Can we get pizza?” Apparently, depriving a 12-year-old from pizza for a week is cruel and unusual punishment.
We stopped at one of our favorite Italian restaurants on the way home and he devoured a cheese pizza. Oh, to have the metabolism of a teenager. The service at the restaurant was predictably good and it reminded me why we like to eat there. Not only is the food excellent, the prices reasonable, but the service is consistently good.

On the other hand, I could name several restaurants that, as a family, we have decided never to attend again. In fact, it has become a family inside joke when we drive by certain chains to say, “nope, can’t eat there anymore”. Or “behave or we will take you to XYZ restaurant”.

I attended a presentation this week on branding where the speaker asked, “How many people in the audience have had a bad experience with a service organization, and based on that single experience, have chosen never to do business with the company again?” Most of the people in the room raised their hands. Then he asked, “How many of you were negatively affected by a single employee?” Most of the hands stayed up. Next he asked, “How many of you have decided to avoid the entire company, not just the single store, or location?” Again, most of the hands stayed up.

This exercise reminds us that purchase decisions are more emotional than rational. The reality is that the single employee can’t affect the service experience at another location, and they may not even work at your local store any more. However, most of us make an emotional decision never to visit the entire chain again based on a single negative experience. Conversely, most of us can point to examples where a company went above and beyond normal expectations to provide exceptional service and gained loyal customers for life.

Never underestimate the value of a single act of courtesy or a single act of unprofessionalism. One positive or negative experience can influence a customer’s perceived value of a company for a lifetime. Additionally, customers are not shy in sharing their views with others. Therefore, that single event can also ripple through the marketplace by word of mouth, and now instantaneously through social media. A single event can create a “tipping point” that can shift market perception of your company.

In our case today, the food was exceptional, the prices were reasonable and our service was predictably very good. Our waiter treated us like we were his only customer and connected with each one of us at the table. Ironically, positive customer service takes less effort than negative service. When you impress a customer, they give you the benefit of the doubt. However, when you offend a customer, you spend significantly more effort trying to turn them around. Every interaction with your customer is an opportunity to move the needle in either a positive or negative direction. Never pass up the opportunity to reinforce the positive experience.

If we don’t take care of our customers, someone else will. – Unknown

Hard Work Beats Talent, When Talent Doesn’t Work Hard!

All three of my children play basketball in local leagues. One of the groups that they play with has t-shirts promoting their league and on the back of the shirt it has the phrase “Hard Work Beats Talent, When Talent Doesn’t Work Hard“. I love this shirt because it is a lesson that we can all learn from.

On an athletic level, it is clear. There are plenty of “gifted” athletes that never excel because they rely on their natural ability to pull them through. We see this in middle school, high school and we clearly see it in professional athletics. It is always sad to see money and fame ruin a great athlete’s career.

This lesson can also be seen in academics. Some students rely far too much on their natural ability and end up paying the price. We all have stories of high school valedictorians that never made it through college. On the other hand, we also have stories of kids who struggled through school and ended up very successful in life. Sometimes those challenges we faced, made us far more prepared for the real world.
There is no simple secret to success. There are no silver bullets. There are no short cuts. However, nothing is more important than preparation and hard work. Yes, we can always point to the examples of people who were successful by flying by the seat of their pants. We can also point to the guy who jumped off the 3-story building and walked away without a scratch. There are always exceptions. However, I prefer not to jump off buildings.

In business, we compete every day. We compete with other companies. We compete with other employees. We compete with other candidates during interviews. Does the most naturally talented individual always win? No. Does the most naturally talented individual win most of the time? I would argue “No”. In my experience the most prepared individual wins.

It is a common excuse in business to say, “We can’t compete with Goliath Corporation. They are 5 times our size!” Other companies will always have more people, more budget, better products, better market position and so on. This should not, and cannot, be an excuse. Why do startups with little or no budget beat billion dollar companies every day? It is simple – because they can. They are rifle focused. They usually only have one product, while larger companies have an array of products to worry about. They don’t have legacy issues to deal with. They know that failure is not an option, so they work exceptionally hard. If they don’t succeed, their company fails. They simply don’t have other revenue streams to fall back on. They are nimble and creative while larger companies are often bureaucratic and slow moving.

The lesson is simple, “Hard Work Beats Talent, When Talent Doesn’t Work Hard”. Don’t make excuses. Simply work hard and be prepared. You will win more often than you think.

The Only Thing that is Constant is Change

My wife and I dropped our children off for the first day of school this past week. They were clearly upset that summer was over and that they had to go back to school. I took the opportunity to attempt to teach them a life-lesson and reminded them that “change” is part of life. It happens whether you want it to or not. Summer is over. Fall is coming fast. School is beginning. Dad is starting a new job. Change is all around us. I used one of my favorite dad quotes, “The only thing that is constant is change”. Change is good. It is nature’s way of cleaning out the old, and bringing in the new. I was fairly eloquent, but when I looked back in the minivan, I realized that they were all listening to their iPods and missed the entire speech. Oh well, it is tough being a parent.

Throughout my career, I have had good jobs, bad jobs, mediocre jobs and times when I was in transition. In each case, I had to remind myself (and others around me) that none of these phases last forever. The good times will leave, and so will the bad times.

In this economy, at least one out of every ten people are out of work. Starbucks is doing great because everyone who is in transition is “networking” at your local coffee shop. Dry Cleaners are doing poorly because less people are dropping off their shirts to be laundered. Let’s look forward to the day that Starbucks is struggling and the dry cleaners are profitable again.

While most of us don’t want those jobs, the truth is that we are all learning to find our unique value that we can add to the workforce. We are learning the importance of differentiating ourselves and finding our unique positioning. The world needs CEOs, but it also needs mid-level managers, entry-level employees, inventors, administrators and “giant foam finger makers”. The key is to align your skills sets with the requirements of the market. We will all need to reinvent ourselves several times in our careers.

Change is inevitable. Change is good. You just need to be open minded to new opportunities that present themselves. To use another dad quote – “Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift. Enjoy every minute of it.”

All I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten

One of my favorite business books was published in 1988. It was a very simple book entitled, “All I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten”. The premise of the book is that the

simple lessons we learned in Kindergarten can carry us through the balance of our life. We would all be more successful and the world would be a better place if we applied a few simple rules. Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don’t take things that aren’t yours. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work some every day.

As I have advanced in my career, I have realized how true Robert Fulghum’s words are. The business executives who I have the most respect for, play by these simple rules. These executives attract the best talent. They have the strongest business partners. And, they have had the most consistently successful careers.

I find it interesting how often I am in business meetings and we are analyzing a very complex business issue. It may have to do with a channel partner relationship, an acquisition target, a business management process or a marketing campaign strategy. However, after lengthy dialog, it often comes down to a simple discussion about “doing the right thing”. The ultimate question is typically very easy to answer.
Ironically, many executives have spent so much of their career focusing on forecast models, margin analysis, manufacturing metrics and development cycles, that they have lost the ability to make simple business decisions based on common sense.
To be a successful business executive, there is always a baseline of business knowledge that is necessary. You need an understanding of finance, manufacturing, sales, marketing, product development, as well as industry domain expertise. Yet, the truly great executives are able to see beyond manufacturing variances, product margin, time-to-market advantage and fundamental ROI and distill the business decisions down to very a simple analysis. They remember that customers will purchase from you if you treat them fairly. They understand that employees will be loyal if you treat them with respect. When appropriate, they accept the blame and apologize for their mistakes. They understand that you can’t manage a business from a balance sheet alone.

Recently, my eight-year-old daughter asked me how my day went. I told her that I was in a business strategy meeting most of the day. I couldn’t describe much of the meeting to her because she wouldn’t have understood it, so I just gave her a very high-level description of the problem. Out of curiosity, I asked her what she would have decided, and without hesitation, she gave the right answer. I smiled and told her she was right. It took my eight-year-old daughter about three minutes to get to the same answer that it took eight extremely well paid executives five hours to get to. Sometimes the answer is easier than you think. I’ve gained a new respect for “bring your daughter to work” day.

Success requires you to have all three of the following characteristics:
Ability – To be successful at a given task, we need to have the skills necessary to complete the objective. However, we also need to believe that we have the ability. This often manifests itself as unrelenting optimism.

Desire – The goal must matter deeply to us. Passion drives individuals to overcome tremendous obstacles. Conversely, a lack of passion causes people to quit too early.
Opportunity – Ability and desire cannot succeed without opportunity. Depending on the task at hand, there are various resources (e.g., time, human, financial) that may be necessary to meet the specific goal.

If you are having trouble completing a specific task, ask yourself which of these characteristics you are missing. Then put a plan in place to give yourself the opportunity to succeed.

Based on your experience, are there other ingredients to success that don’t fall under these main categories?

Notes from Georgia

Fear Not, Judge Not, Resist Not – Guidelines for Living
Of course, there are many more guidelines and success principles to consider, but these are pretty core for me, and I wanted to explore them with you. I would love your comments and thoughts as you read through these. We learn from each other, and none of us has all the answers – just the ones that resonate with us. We broaden and expand our minds, and grow spiritually as we connect with each other.
The first guideline is to Fear Not. What we learned here is that we are safe. Of course, life has its ups and downs, it crisis and tragedies. But, these are not insurmountable, and they exist in the material world. Our spirit is always safe – it is infinite. Once we understand that, we can begin to let our fear go. The second guideline is to Judge Not.
Judge Not
Here is a surprise: We are not the judges of the Universe, not the judges of others, and not even the judges of ourselves! REALLY! As you begin to be aware and intentional in your thought, stepping into your own power, and making meaningful decisions on your own behalf, you will make an astounding discovery. Other people are quite capable, and you can trust them with their own lives and decisions. You are not “the boss of them” or in any position of authority over others sufficient enough to judge them.
You still get to make choices for yourself because this is the only place where you have authority and power. Your choices are wrapped around whether you will participate with others or not, even when you don’t agree with them. Either way, the only thing you can judge is what is appropriate for you.
Now that we’ve got that concept out there, lets talk about judging yourself.
In our culture, self-worth is measured by a strong ego, self-confidence, competitiveness, assertiveness, and ultimately by money, status and possessions – all examples of external accomplishment. Paradoxically, the world’s greatest wisdom traditions hold that a person’s worth doesn’t change depending on external success and its rewards. A person’s worth is based upon the value of a soul, which is infinite and unchanging. Because life is teeming with change, you must go deeper to find that part of yourself that does not change, the part that is constant. Once you have found it, nourish it, and begin to write your own story. This shift in consciousness allows you to live in a constantly changing world from the level of your soul.
So how does God, the Universal power, want us to grow, what direction does she want us to take, and who’s guidelines should we follow? The answer to that is none. You get to grow the way you want to, by following your own desires. The things that deeply interest you play the role of God; you feel an irresistible attraction to them. Whatever fascinates you is also trying to wake you up. We’ve all heard the saying “If you don’t know where you are going, it doesn’t matter where you start.”
“An impulse of love, if followed wherever it leads, will become richer and more intense, and in the end it will reveal itself as divine. An impulse of gratitude will do the same thing, as will compassion, kindness, charity, faith, devotion, appreciation, art, and science. Wherever the human mind wants to expand, God, the Universal Source, will be waiting at the end of the line.” ~ Deepak Chopra
Start where you are, and follow your heart. Now that you have let fear go, you are free to take the risk to do and be who you really are.
What am I deeply interested in, and how might I bring those thoughts and ideas into physical reality?
Just for today, I will bask in the joy I find in exploring and discovering what attracts me.
As a brief reminder, the first guideline is to Fear Not. What we learned here is that we are safe. Our spirit is always safe – it is infinite. Once we understand that, we can begin to let our fear go. The second guideline is to Judge Not. This concept is pointed toward not judging others, and of equal importance, not judging yourself. It is about following your deepest interests and desires, and finding the Divine in the process.
Part three is about resistance to what makes us uncomfortable, no matter how small.
Resist Not
If we have no reason to judge, and there is nothing left for us to fear, there is only one thing left. Do not resist that which makes you uncomfortable. Linda Howe, Director of the Akashic Institute, says, “When we resist and turn away from what makes us uncomfortable, we begin to build an energetic wall that keeps growing all around us until the very thing we are resisting becomes the barrier that keeps us from moving through it.”
Resistance means defiance, opposition, and rejection. If you are resisting part of who you are, you are rejecting yourself. If you are resisting someone, or what they are trying to give you, you are rejecting all or part of that person. If you don’t resist, but just let something be, it goes away. Letting go baffles people. It seems people hold on to anger, fear, violence and addiction even though they have tried with all their might to renounce them. Negative things stick to us because we are attached to the underlying energy that doesn’t want to go away. Letting go requires a process. It asks us to do the following:
Look carefully at what is occurring when you feel your resistance. When you are angry or fearful, pay attention to what you are feeling and vocalizing. Identify the energy that is consuming you.
See the facts of the particular situation. Detach the energy from what has occurred so you can concentrate on the specifics. This allows you to release your anger, and pay attention to what needs to be learned or dealt with in a meaningful way.
Tell the truth about the situation, and take responsibility for your part in it. Your energy is yours, and yours alone. It doesn’t belong to anyone else, and it doesn’t matter who is right or wrong, or who is the aggressor or the victim. Your role in this situation is to let go of the energy that has stuck to you for whatever reason.
Take action, and don’t expect anyone to do it for you. You find freedom through the use of your mind, body and soul. As much as others can be compassionate and wish us well, only you can take the action needed to embark on your own journey.
Because negative energies get stuck in us, they can cause problems physically. Many kinds of bodywork and energy therapies can be useful here. They provide a powerful antidote to inflicting pain on another by letting loose with verbal or physical abuse. Getting rid of stuck energy is a private matter that belongs to you. Don’t be afraid to explore and discover who you really are and what you are really about. It’s time to break free of your second hand life – based on what others tell you about you, the voices from your past, and what you were taught by your tribe and your culture. By letting go of these old energies and the need to conform, you manifest a new freedom for yourself.
What am I resisting within me that makes me uncomfortable?
Just for today, I will let go of my resistance and love the freedom I gain by taking action.
Truth-telling – Can You Be An Authentic Leader Without It?
Truth-telling is something I have been doing ever since I was a child, however the while it is very comfortable, the same has hurt me too. The thing to do is to keep pusuing it with Ease and Grace. The lesson is wrapped around the concept of being truthful about the fears we have that stop us from taking transformational steps in creating the change we want to see in our lives. There is a structure of cost and rewards to being a truth-teller, and there is an impact that the truth has on you and those around you. It could be a heavy topic, and as always it generates a great deal of conversation when you open it up for discussion.
What came up for me as I worked on the lesson, and the exercises for my children and colleagues, was the need to always tell myself the truth about any situation. I hear people commonly say “I don’t have time to (you name it). I’m busy with taking care of my family, networking, volunteering, and my career, my business.”
Yes, all of that is true, but the real truth is that we are just not doing (you name it). If we honestly look at our day, we could have found the time, but we rapidly filled or day with activities that may or may not fulfill our values or meet our needs.
There are a couple schools of thought about what truth is. Various schools of thought, teaches that truth is the facts of what has occurred in physical reality, it teaches that truth is sometimes deeper and more profound than the facts that have been presented as truth, and is what is so for you.
The discovery of truth is at times a process. It changes over time as you get more in tune with who you are, and make discoveries about your world and how it works. It’s important to hold your truth lightly, and not let it become a rule that will not allow you to explore a myriad of possibilities with curiosity and delight. In addition, truth is not something to hold out for others to adhere to; they are living their own truth and are on their own path. As you begin to explore these concepts, it may strike you that your truth, and the truth of someone else, may or may not be the real truth.
The more you work to uncover your truth, you will discover that there aren’t that many people interested in the truth. When you are required to work with people who are not, you must be prepared for the consequences of being direct and you must take care when sharing your thoughts. Truth-telling must be intentional and well thought out. It requires you to be sensitive, and choose the time for truth carefully. It does no good to share truth when it will not be received because the person you are sharing with is not ready to hear it.
Truth-telling is one of the most important lessons you can learn, or teach, for that matter. It makes the biggest difference in your life, and if you are lucky enough to have been given children to raise, it is one of the most valuable things you can teach them, just by doing.
Still your mind, and look around you and inside you. There you will find your truth, the most important truth of all. You will not find it in a book or classroom. You will find thoughts and interpretations there which you must sift through in order to find what holds meaning for you. Believe in the truth you can perceive with your five senses – the truth of physical reality – and what you feel in your heart. Once you have recognized the truth, your mind and body will rapidly adjust.
If Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness, What Does?
Money buys things, which don’t make us happy. Happiness comes from inside, things come from the outside, and while they might give us a momentary thrill, they will never give us lasting happiness. An interesting study has been done around the increasing wealth and materialism of the United States, and the fact that the happiness index has been stable or has actually decreased.
You are now probably asking….so how do I get lasting happiness? What will make me happy? That is the question of the millennium! There are many people studying it, and, of course, just as many theories around it.
Psychologists are saying we are born with a happiness set point. For example, if something wonderful happens (we win the lottery), we leap high on the happiness scale, but we will settle down to our set point over time. If something tragic happens and we drop to the bottom of the happiness scale, we will eventually rise to our set point. And like all human traits, some of us have higher set points than others, i.e., some of us are happier than others due to genetics (at least that is the theory).
Others are saying we choose to be happy, and there are nine choices we must make to be happy. Those choices start with an intention to be happy; asking ourselves the very basic question: What attitude will make the quality of this experience the best it can be right now?
The question can be asked multiple times each day as we are faced with an opportunity requiring us to act/react. After interviewing hundreds of happy people, authors Rick Foster and Greg Hicks state in their book, How We Choose to be Happy, that “the quality of our emotional experience is based almost entirely on the nature and strength of our intentions and very little on the actual things that happen in our lives.”
Until you develop the intention to be happy, you will continue to draw unhappy people into your lives, supporting your unhappiness, as you support theirs. Your relationships are based on the shared unhappiness, reflecting your intention to be unhappy.
I found it interesting to note this particular piece of information since I have always relied upon others to give me feedback that either fed or took away my happiness – from family to work. In fact, most work environments are feedback based requiring the employee to always wonder how they are doing in relationship to what the employer wants, and those systems are not always positive in nature. It also may require the employee to live outside of their own integrity or values, trying to measure up to the performance standards set by others rather than themselves. What I have discovered is my reliance on others to make me happy does not work. Only I can make me happy.
Are you game to work with me to figure out how to do that?
First, look at your long-term intentions for the remainder of your life. For example, do you intend to:
Be a loving and caring mother/father
Be a helpful and supportive spouse/partner
Educate yourself in the pursuit of a vocation
Let go of perfectionist and judgmental thoughts
Be a great coach,
Be a caregiver to your parents
Secondly, eliminate those items on your list that are there because they are something someone else wants you to be/do. Keep those items that are there because they come from your heart. Eliminate those items that feel like you “should do” or “oughta do”.
The third step is to now re-write the sentence
I intend to be a loving and caring mother/father, and I intend to be happy doing it.
I intend to be a helpful and supportive spouse/partner, and I intend to be happy doing it.
And, so on.
Now, here comes the hard part:
Re-read the sentences you just re-wrote. Do they feel like the real you? How do you feel about them? If they don’t feel real, and you cannot connect with the statement, then it probably does not belong on your list. Either take them off the list, or change them to make them your own.
Then ask yourself the critical question: Who would you need to BE to fulfill that intent? When you spend the time to honestly answer the question, and detail it with a list of who you would need to be, and how you would go about doing it, you will see a shift in how you see the world and your place in it. You are ready to begin to create the change you would like to see in your life.
What are your intentions in life, and how would you respond to this question?
We Love complainers
Most of us have a finely tuned eye and ear for the ways we experience and perceive situations and people as hindering our ability to grow and develop. And, we have a tendency to hold grudges, constantly bringing up the past and what has been done “to” us. We have a great deal of practice in an unproductive language structure called complaining.
As leaders, it is important for us to pay attention to this language structure with a different set of eyes and ears than we are used to. It seems that complaining has become so common place at work, home, church and at play that we often don’t even notice it. It has become an almost accepted way of conversing with each other. The problem with this flourishing and growing structure of language is that it is non-transformational; it is an end in itself, leading nowhere.
Given that – why do we think it’s important for you to pay attention to the complaints swirling around you like an F5 tornado? Because it leads to transformation: People don’t complain about something if they don’t care about it. They have a passion for it, and they are deeply committed to it. As an authentic leader, you are deeply interested in what the people around you are committed to, and what is going on that is causing them discomfort. And, you know that people are generally only committed to something they value. It is imperative for you to listen, and really hear, what is being said and get to that kernel of understanding from which you can begin to create transformational change within the organizations where you work and volunteer, and your family life.
Let me give you an example:
Complaint: As CEO of this organization, I feel unsupported by the board when we go into meetings with the shareholders when they don’t meet my expectations of stepping up to offer their thoughts in the meetings to champion what I am proposing.
Re-frame to a value: I am committed to the value or the importance of support of the board when we go into meetings with the shareholders so that they (the board) will champion the proposals I am presenting for ratification.
What we did here was turn toward the complaint and pass through it to reach the language structure of what is valued, and creates commitment, to get to the other side. This leadership skill in communications honors the complaint and invites the complainer to follow the transformational steps to moving them forward by recognizing what it is that they value. This, in and of itself, makes them feel better about who they are because they view themselves differently. For the leader, we have opened the opportunity to the creation of positive energy and forward movement.
I am committed to listening to the people around me when they complain to discern what it is they value.
Leading In Crisis – Steps To Prevent Overreaction
The car in front of you just slammed on the brakes. You could stop suddenly but you’re in a hurry and so instead, you swerve into the other lane. Your heart is pounding as you suddenly realize you were lucky there wasn’t anyone in the other lane. All this happens in a fraction of a second and at the same time you’re verbalizing some unkind words aimed at the other driver, you see why he stopped so suddenly. A child has run into the street! Now you feel bad for what you said. What if that child hadn’t stopped?
As leaders, sometimes we act like this: quick to take action before really understanding the situation, then realizing too late that there might be a reason for someone else’s actions that were contrary to our own ideas or intentions. There are several different descriptions of leadership styles that describe how a leader interacts with subordinates. There’s another factor though that can often transcend those normal styles and that’s how a leader reacts to adversity.
Unfortunately, many leaders see those unusual or unexpected situations as a threat to their own plans or even their future; a viewpoint that can cause an inappropriate and usually counterproductive reaction. Of course, such a reaction is also quite normal. The following steps can help a leader avoid that sort of reaction.
1. Realize, right now, that unexpected things will happen. Sometimes they will be minor problems that look big. Sometimes they will be big problems that throw your whole plan off track. In any case, they will happen.
2. Remember that you are a leader. Others rely on you to be the steady influence, especially when things don’t go right. When you don’t maintain a fairly even keel, you are denying others of the good leadership you are supposed to provide. Also remember people follow a leader, even when the leader is reacting in an inappropriate or counterproductive way.
3. Don’t immediately overreact. In fact, don’t immediately react at all. There are very few times when an instant reaction is really necessary. There is almost always time to stop and evaluate the situation. Even a brief appraisal of the situation will bring it into better focus and ensure a better response.
4. Always keep in mind that you are not the only one affected by the crisis. It’s easy to see ourselves as victims without considering others who may actually be more harmed by the issue. Keep in mind also, that your reaction will have some effect on others. A good leader will give this equal weight when making a decision.
5. Whatever caused the crises happened for a reason. Just like the car stopping in front of you, it might have been a very good reason. Strive to discover that reason before taking action.
The driver in the opening example was fortunate. There was no one in the other lane and the child did not continue running into the street. As a leader you may have been fortunate to have dealt poorly with a situation and not suffered any detrimental consequences. Next time a crisis arises, try these five steps.
Leadership Perspectives: Seeing Ourselves As Others See Us
Ever wonder what you look like, sound like, act like in the eyes of others, customers, direct report, spouse or partner etc?
While most of us will give lip service to feedback there is a deep tendency to shrink away from being told anything that smacks of negativity. Out loud we usually say, “Thanks for telling me, I’ll look into your comments” while internally the thought is: “Who do you think you are, that’s just the way I am!”
There is such powerful resistance to change that most of us would rather be right than happy. We tend to dig our heels in and while we hear the words to make change happen in our lives, they slide away like an ice cream cone rolling down a toddler’s face on a hot summer’s day.
It takes real effort to listen.
Ingrained habits and patterns of behavior have their place. Think about it: what if every morning you had to relearn to brush your teeth, comb your hair or get dressed.
Yet, way too often we go on automatic, not thinking about what we are doing and how it impacts others. Gandhi put it perfectly when he said we should not mistake what is habitual for what is natural. Changing what is habitual is one of the goals of self awareness, one of the key elements of becoming a great leader.
What we teach in “Total Leadership Connections” is the power of becoming Pattern Aware. This goes hand and hand with developing high emotional intelligence. Here are some thoughts to help you move from “It’s just the way I am” to “Here is how I choose to be.”
First, take the time to really listen to feedback. It is there for you to move to higher levels of self awareness and leadership excellence. While listening, rather than brushing comments aside, notice your gut reaction. If you tend to feel tightness in your stomach or notice you are clenching your fists or your jaw, pay close attention.
You can learn a lot about yourself simply by monitoring your own body sensations. Most of these basic reactions stated in childhood when you were yelled at by a parent, sibling or a teacher. This is where we all learned to hate feedback. It was rarely given in thoughtful, well planned ways. Usually it was a slap on the rear or a taunt, or detention. Not good for learning better habits. Good for creating defensive positioning.
Gandhi was right, what is habitual is not natural. What is natural is to tell the truth, be accountable and look for ways to cooperate and accentuate creativity.
Do Your Beliefs Have You?
I’ve heard these beliefs called Limiting Beliefs, Big Assumptions, and Untruths seen as Truth. Let’s run with this. An assumption is defined by the dictionary as “something whose truth status is uncertain; it may or may not be true.” A belief, according to the dictionary, is “a conviction, trust, or confidence that something is real or true.”
Our beliefs are often assumptions we have made about the world, those around us, and even ourselves. They may or may not be a reflection of reality. They are often based upon one or more experiences we have had that made such an impression on us that the experience became our reality, or “the truth”. They have us.
As I work with my clients, I find them to be brave individuals, dealing with their world as effectively as they can given the beliefs they hold about their world. Even though to the people around them it appears that their behavior can be destructive not only to themselves, but to others, if we are able to discern the assumptions they believe to be true in their world, we can understand their behavior.
Most of us accept that children look at their world from a limited perspective, not having the experiences we as adults have had over the years. What would your world be like if you were to discover that you hold beliefs or worldviews that have been outgrown? Would you like some examples?
Prior to Columbus sailing to America, the “TRUTH”, or the commonly held belief, was that the world was flat. What do you believe now?
A placebo, or “sugar pill” is sometimes given to people who are ill to compare its effects against “real” medicine. It doesn’t do anything medicinally, but they get better anyway.
No one believed that anyone could run a four minute mile until Roger Bannister did so in 1954. Over 18 runners have done so since then.
If we are absolutely positive that we know how the world works, we generally don’t have a tendency to look for a different reality. This is not the purview of a child’s world only. Stepping out of our perspective to view reality from another point of view may be more difficult for adults than it is for children.
Much of what passes as professional development is an effort to help us develop more skills or the ability to cope with change, stress, etc. This is done within the assumptions or perceptions of our current reality. If you really want to transformation in your life, you must step outside of your current perceptions so you might see what is underneath and shaping your perceptive reality.
Change Is The Nature of Life
I’m reading an older book by Neale Donald Walsch, published in 2002, entitled “The New Revelations”. I have enjoyed most of his books, and occasionally go back to read them again. I always find something new to get out of them, based upon where I am in my own transformational learning at the time. This time I picked up on his chapters on change, and the concept that “change is the nature of life”. In it, he is talking about the need for change, for moving on, in our societies, in our religions, and in our belief systems. He expounds on “enlarging” our knowledge and accepting “more” into our lives rather than relying on ancient learning and interpretation.
This fits in nicely with the work that Heath Harding and I are doing in developing our program on “Creating Change with Ease and Grace”, scheduled to roll out in mid-March. So, here is the interesting part. There are basically three types of change, as part of the nature of life:
The first is where dynamic systems fall apart. They wear down, and eventually become too random and disordered to utilize energy effectively. This happens to our bodies, our material possessions (cars, houses, appliances), our religions, our organizations, our governments, and our cultures.
The blessing is that as humans, there is another force of nature. Physicists call it negentropy, the negative or reverse of entropy (#1). The technical explanation is that it is the energy expended to slow down the entropy. In terms that I understand, it is the natural inclination some of us have to continue the transformation of who we are. Even though our bodies are wearing down, our minds can be expanding our conscious and unconscious thought processes. Not only do we humans deteriorate physically, but we also can choose to enjoy the processes that lead to more choice, better concentration and power over our thoughts and ideas. It is only by understanding this process, and utilizing it in every situation do we create transformational learning.
“We will never be able to solve our problems, at the same order of complexity we used to create them.” ~ Albert Einstein
The last force of nature is entitled dynamic equilibrium. This is where the positive and negative forces are in stasis. The system is at equilibrium because the equation equals no net change. It isn’t because there is not activity. Quite the contrary. Dynamic equilibrium is about competing energy usage, sometimes allowing change to occur for a brief period, but ultimately falling back into “the way we’ve always done it”.
As leaders, we are constantly looking for something that will create significant change for our organizations, moving us to more complexity, a higher capacity, and more success. In addition, we are backing that up with worry that we could be in danger of losing our lead in the competitive race, becoming complacent and routine, and thereby losing focus. How many of you have been involved in a significant push to change the organizational culture, or even your own personal way of life, only to make the change for a brief time, and then slide right back to where you started (or even beyond)? Most of us could raise our hands here.
Most of us want to be part of a dynamic organization that does not disintegrate or even stay exactly the same. It is exciting to be moving forward, to be a learning organization, and be energized by creativity, freedom and growth. In order to evolve in this direction, we must be willing to embrace change;change that is significant and transformational. The openness to change must occur at all levels of the organization from top leadership on down in order to be completely successful.
How much are you willing to embrace and create change in your life with ease and grace?
In Order to Evolve We Must Change
Or: Is it possible to grow beyond adolescence?
In my years in leadership positions, and now as I’m coaching other leaders, one of the statements I hear most often is “Change is hard!” And, unfortunately, as hard as we try, whether from a personal or an organizational perspective, we might successfully move toward change for a period of time, but we invariably slide back to that with which we are familiar. William Perry, Harvard professor, often said as he counseled others, “What does this person really want – and what will they do to keep from getting it?” This statement struck me hard. It made me think about the many times I vowed to change a behavior, whether personal or professional, but somehow I moved back to square one over time. Some situation or some thought process pulled me away from the awareness of what I was aiming for, or completely overwhelmed it.
The beauty of it is that it is possible to grow beyond adolescence! We don’t have to be defined by a stagnated mental development because we can choose to change. Even better, we can create change, not just react to it. We don’t have to “fix” ourselves, because at the very heart of things we are perfect just the way we are! There is nothing to break down, reduce or overcome. What we are aiming for is transformational learning; our own, and in supporting others as they go about their own learning.
Why does this matter? Because as we assume leadership roles in organizations, volunteer positions, and at home, we are confronted with these realities:
A good share of leading involves working with others to effect significant change.
It is very hard to manifest change within a group without changes taking place in individual behaviors and group dynamics.
It is almost impossible to nourish and maintain those behavioral changes without changing the causal meanings that create the behavior.
And, we have an extremely difficult time leading others in transformational learning if we aren’t willing to consider the possibility that we also need to change.
Most people would agree, I believe, that despite the enormous amount of money being spent in our corporate environments today on change management, very little significant change actually takes place. It may be because they don’t go deep enough to look at why each individual may be resisting the very change they are trying to manage!
Heath Harding, UNL Leadership PhD candidate, and I will be rolling out a program in mid-March to talk about change, and how you can begin to utilize the process outlined within the program to create the change you most want to see, learn to deal with the changes you are presented with on a daily basis with conscious intent, and take action in meaningful ways. This process is designed to help you understand why significant “change is hard”, and to help you move beyond it by transforming your relationship to change. Stay tuned!
Leadership Perspective: Creating Space For Change
We’ve all made commitments to ourselves and to our corporations to bring about transformational change. Unfortunately, what we create is change that sometimes occurs for short periods of time, but inevitably slips back into the everyday routine, or creates such chaos that it is shelved before we can find out why chaos reigns.
When we take the time to discover our competing commitments, and those of the people we work with, we often will find beliefs held that may or may not be true. These beliefs have often taken hold of us like a burr on the coat of a dog wandering through the fields. They have latched on, and just won’t let go without a lot of tugging and pulling.
These beliefs warn us about the ways in which our universe can be turned upside down. They hint at how those things or people we care about the most might be highly upset. If you say them out loud, especially in large groups, you will hear things that feel intimately familiar, that may be penetrating in their clear and almost overwhelming candor. They may cause you to sit in silence, absorbing the suggestion of cascading belief systems that could be set off by looking at even one strongly held belief.
Let me give you some examples of beliefs I have heard. You may resonate with some of them:
I assume that if I tell people what I really think, then I will be fired, broke and I will lose everything.
I assume that if I were to really deal with my unhappiness at work, I would have to quit my job.
I assume that if I am not successful monetarily, my family will be ashamed of me.
When you look at these beliefs, you may find that what you say you are committed to and are trying to implement cannot be done effectively and economically because the problem is in an entirely different form. If you can stand to stay with what you have identified as a limiting belief, you can learn a great deal, and can use this knowledge to solve you. And, when you finally get to the point where you have identified a limiting belief, you can move from your place of captivity to a place of introspection – looking at it from all angles, and possibly altering it.
Looking at it from a leadership perspective allows us to recognize that we are not able to create any significant change until we recognize the dynamics of equilibrium that cause us to continuously construct nonchange. It takes an extraordinary leader to cultivate a way to surface and explore competing commitments within the organization without blaming some aspect of the entire organization. It may not even be possible without the leaders of the organization exploring the issues on an individual level.
As a leader, are you willing to take on the challenge of keeping your limiting beliefs in the forefront of your mind, working with a community of peers who are willing to partner with you to:
Observe yourself in action in relation to your limiting belief.
Look for experiences that cast doubt on your limiting belief.
Explore the “biography” of your limiting belief.
Test your limiting belief to see what happens.
These steps create the space required for us to be able to step away from our belief long enough to consider altering it, or at least suspending it in certain situations. Small changes such as this allow for transformational learning – in our consideration of possibilities we would never have considered before and in the choices we will consider making in the future.
How much space are you willing to make for change to occur?
Leadership Passion Without Attachment to the Outcome?
I posted the following question on LinkedIn on Sunday because I was genuinely seeking comments and thoughts from other leaders, particularly those in groups that are character-based groups. The question was – “Pondering whether you can be a great leader if you are personally attached to the outcome.”
I had made a statement earlier in the week to another leader that I wasn’t upset when people share their thoughts and ideas, or even if they push back a bit, because I wasn’t attached to the specifics of the outcome. The response I received implied that I couldn’t be a good leader if I wasn’t attached. Of course, I was taken aback by this, and wanted to know if others thought the same way I did.
First of all, thank you to all of you who weighed in on the topic. I’m hoping this post will generate more dialogue, and we can continue collaborating on this.
Of the responses I received, 21% agreed that you can’t lead without being attached to the outcome, and 64% agreed that you shouldn’t be attached, the remainder said “it depends”.
RESPONSES
Two-thirds of those that said you can’t lead without being attached to the outcome were from non-profit organizations, where the cause is the passion, and the leaders within the organization often have a personal reason for being there. The other third stated that they “didn’t know how you can be a great leader if you’re NOT personally attached to the outcome. The best leaders take responsibility for and are accountable for the results their team creates.”
The greatest majority responded with similar thoughts as mine, and hopefully this will spark some more conversation. Here are some of the comments:
I wouldn’t necessarily use the terms “personally attached” but rather “committed to a successful outcome.” When the leader or contributors fall in love with a product, service or solution, it may damage or impose process issues, and often overlooks gaps in the system causing some failure or alienation of those contributing.
You can be a great leader without being personally attached to the outcome. When you lead people through a process, it will move them along on their own journey. The goal for the leader is not outcome related… I believe the leader must have an intention that is not results oriented but process oriented… This doesn’t mean the end result is less.
You CAN be committed to success, outcomes, and profit without emotional attachment. Compassion can be real and you can give it your “all” without being attached to the outcome. . . If the expected outcome does not materialize then we have an opportunity to flow into something that may be purposeful, more meaningful or just plain great.
If the leader benefits to the detriment of one’s followers, then they are not great. However, if you define “personally attached” as feeling responsible for and invested in a positive outcome, then great leadership is almost a given. I say almost because if one gets too caught up in the outcome, taking it all too personally, then one’s leadership skills are likely to suffer in the process, decreasing one’s effectiveness.
I think the leader does not and probably should not be “attached” to the “outcome” but committed and passionate about the direction. The specific outcome may change for good reasons. Being attached to a specific outcome could get in the way as the need to consider a different or better outcome arises.
I think having a personal attachment to the process is essential for leadership. It’s easy to become consumed and lose perspective if over-attached to the outcome, rather than the process. . . If, as a leader I focus on the process, I’m more likely to lead with integrity and honor those I’m leading.
No outcomes and decisions should be considered personal. Everything is for the long-term benefit of the entity. Especially with true collaboration. Plus, when you have a culture of experimentation without fear of failure, then all outcomes (no matter what) are not considered “attached” to anyone. Instead they are team learning events in the continuum of continual improvement.
In the maybe, people were looking at both sides of the conversation:
The first important distinction must be made between long term and short term outcomes. All leaders must be personally attached/committed to the long term goals and outcomes, to compliance with company values and to a set of personal values. In contrast, the attachment to the short term goals and challenges is subject to each leader’s discretion choice of leadership style in a given situation. If as a leader I choose a coaching approach, detachment from precise outcomes is crucial. However if I choose a corrective intervention, I may at times be very attached to a particular outcome or change of behavior.
As with many issues it depends on the degree of attachment/detachment. Sometimes an added personal passion can make a huge difference to a successful outcome. In other cases a degree of objective neutrality and being open to the possibility of having to walk away can also be key. Personal attachment can be a problem.
Additional comments:
The problem I see today is that there is too much selfishness on the part of those running the companies. They have no concern as to how their decisions will affect those that work for them. There is a great disconnect within the companies today and it needs fixing if we are to move forward.
Are you asking about CEO’s who gain by moving the stock price but cannibalize the organization in the process?
My Thoughts
Simply put, I don’t think you can be a great leader if you ARE committed to the specifics of the outcome to the exclusion of the thoughts and ideas of your team, your co-workers, your customers or your suppliers. One of the biggest issues today’s leaders face is that many are working under the big assumption that they are always right or that they are on top of everything there is to know. Hence, we have “constructive” criticism, performance reviews that concentrate on developing your weaknesses, and concentrated efforts to push through projects with detailed specifics given to individuals to implement without input.
I believe a great leader is committed to the process. The process of trusting everyone on your team to have valuable input, to put their best ideas forward, and working together to improve the specifics in order to create the best outcome possible. This process is augmented by having open and honest conversation that sparks deep thinking and creative solutions. This occurs because individuals trust each other, allowing them to put their differences on the table, and encourages back and forth dialogue. These two leadership practices build commitment to a common purpose and vision, ultimately leading to accountability and results – which is where the leader’s commitment should be focused, while staying open to the flexibility needed due to the constant summons of the need for transformation. Without this process in place, a person is in a place of power, but may never be a leader in the purest definition of the word.
I don’t think I’m stepping outside the bounds of the non-profit world. Having been deeply committed to my own causes for over twenty years, I understand the passion and the deep personal attachment to a vision. These are very powerful, and often help inspire followers, but don’t necessarily lead to solid leadership without the above process in place.
Please continue the conversation. I welcome all thoughts. I am committed to the process of learning leadership best practices, knowing that there is not one right answer, least of all my answer. There are many more people who know far more than I do – and I’m inviting you to contribute.
People who have contributed to this post – Mike Henry, Sr. , Joseph Mullin, Jen Kuhn, Anne Perschel, Dorothy Dalton, Zoe Dawes, Karin Zastrow, Mercedes Warrick, Connie Dunn, Florence Tandy, Jim Holland, Wendy Harless, Jenna DeAngelis, Jay Steinfeld, and Daniel Buhr. Thank you for your thoughts, and your insight.
Life Lessons for Leaders- Caring Communication: What Are You Doing Instead?
In 1983, Ashley Montagu and Floyd Matson stated in their book, The Human Connection, that love is the highest form of communication. They say:
“Human communication, ‘as the saying goes, is a clash of symbols’ it covers a multitude of signs. But it is more than media and messages, information and persuasion; it also meets a deeper need and serves a higher purpose. Whether clear or garbled, tumultuous or silent, deliberate or fatally inadvertent, communication is the ground of meeting and the foundation of community. It is, in short, the essential human connection.”
In many instances, we see distancing, destruction, intimidation, disappointment, degradation, and devaluing not only in our corporate cultures, but in our personal lives as well.
As a leader you may want to think about the following instead:
Tell your colleagues on a regular basis that you care about them. Through your conversation, your actions and your body language. You can’t assume that they know it. Our society has become much too cynical to spend time discovering someone’s authentic self. A character in Philip Roth’s book, The Human Stain, said “By a certain age, one’s mistrust is so exquisitely refined that one is unwilling to believe anybody.” And, if they are embarrassed by it, do it anyway.
Tell your colleagues when they have done good work, and reassure and encourage them when they fail. When you employee does something for you, affirm and appreciate them. Don’t slide into the habit of taking them for granted.
Let your associates know when you need their help. It makes them stronger to know they have the power to assist you. Even though they care about you, admire and respect you, they still can’t read your mind.
Celebrate. Often without any other reason than you care about your coworkers and you enjoy them. Verbalize your happiness.
Respond to your colleagues as if they matter. Make them feel special and valued. It will make up for the times they feel invisible.
Validate your collaborator’s feelings and listen to what they have to say. Their experience of something is important to them, and it is their truth. If you truly see them and hear them as they are in the moment, it is a continued affirmation of their being, as you collaborate on change.
Respect the silence. Let it do the heavy lifting. Alternatives for growth are most often realized in moments of quiet.
Let others know you value your colleagues. Public affirmation makes them feel special and proud, especially when you say it TO them, rather than about them.
Life Lessons for Leaders – Communication: Use Your Words, Don’t Let Them Use You
Have you noticed that all of life seems to be a symbol for something else? Words aren’t any different. They represent things, but they aren’t the things they represent. They are phonetic symbols, that when put in an agreed-upon order, and given a meaning, denote something.
Remember, a couple of blogs ago, I talked about how we use the words we learn as symbols with which to organize our worlds. And, that our family, our tribe, teach us these symbols – the definitions and the intellectual content of the words. From a metaphysical standpoint, we think with these words and we become what we think. Taking this one step further, we also attach emotional content to the words we have learned, based upon our experiences and how we felt about those experiences.
For example, let’s take the word mother. The definition is a female parent. When you think about the word mother, what emotions come up for you? What does it feel like, smell like, taste like? You can see that the emotional content is even more significant than the intellectual content, in many cases.
I recently had a relatively deep conversation with some people about the phrase “How are you going to make it happen?” in relationship to setting goals and taking them to fruition. When you look at the definition of the word make, it is relatively innocuous. It means to create, or give form. However, several people had a deep negative reaction to the phrase, for similar, but different reasons. The intellectual definition was overridden by the emotional content of those words. For them, these particular words brought up visions of a power structure, an uncaring boss, and forcing someone to do something. When we changed the structure of the phrase to “How are we going to make it happen?” it quickly softened the emotional content. When we changed the structure to “How are you going to manifest this in your life?” it took the negative away, and moved it into the positive realm.
Words continue to bring up feelings of love, safety, hate, fear, anxiety and avoidance. These are responses we often learned as children when we first encountered them as children. And, we have never bothered to redefine those words as adults. A lot has transpired since you first learned your words in terms of sensitivity, experience and education. It may be to your benefit to look at your words, and redefine your personal adult dictionary. It’s essential to know and understand the words you use, because they could be using you. You can control your words by changing your definitions and your feelings relating to them. This is the only way you can free yourself enough to control your life, because the words you use will determine your belief systems and your actions.
Before I finish here, I’d like to slip into the non-verbal aspect of messages. These are smiles, handshakes, hugs, laughter, eye contact, touching, holding, etc. These are also languages or symbols of communication and have power in their own right. As does listening. As does action.
When someone asks you how you are doing, and you say ‘fine’ it is important you tell your face the same thing.
Research shows that the average person listens 4-5 times faster than most people can talk. When you are listening, how do you decide to use the intervals? Are you thinking of how to respond? Are you planning dinner and your grocery list? Are you busy judging the other person’s clothes, grammar, and personal mannerisms? How much do you miss when you do that?
Do you show your co-workers you care about them? How do you put your feelings into action? What message do you convey after you have said “I care about you”?
Life Lessons for Leaders – Communication: The Art of Dialogue
How do you use language? How do you keep it growing?
Most of us use language as a means of imparting information or to explain something. My husband and I have been married for almost 40 years. Because we have kept schedules at opposite ends of the clock, he working nights and me days, I often tell people we have been married as long as we have because we don’t have to communicate a lot, nor have we spent more than twelve hours a week with each other. In the time we spend together, we quickly pass information back and forth that we think the other needs to know to keep our household going, and to share what our families are doing. As Karl nears retirement, I have realized that it will be vital that we relearn the art of dialogue, speaking of things that are meaningful to both of us. Too often conversations are simply monologues disguised as dialogue. For instance, how my husband talks about retirement vs. the way I see it. Sometimes, we are each talking about our dreams without listening carefully to the other. This leads to definite misunderstandings, and often unhappiness on our parts.
Let’s flip this over into the leadership realm (even though we can learn a lot from the personal side of things). Martin Buber, a Jewish philosopher, talks about several types of dialogue:
Technical dialogue – communication in which we give information, requiring no feeling, and it is received and acted upon. How much of your conversation with the people you work with consists of instruction or reporting, with very little human interchange?
Monologue disguised as dialogue – one person speaks to the total indifference of the other.
True dialogue – the speaker has the other person’s individuality and special needs in mind
Great leaders strive for true dialogue where the major goal is the wellbeing of their co-workers, the enrichment of what gives meaning to their work, and continued nourishment and ongoing regard for their potential. It is only when we care enough about the people we work with to see them for who they are, can we hope to succeed as agents for positive change.
How do we get to “I care about you back” without anxiety or fear?
Be with your co-worker, prepared to be no where else. Close down your e-mail. Put your phone on call-forward, let others know you are not to be disturbed, and above all, don’t cancel the meeting.
Muster your courage, and be prepared to really hear their response to your conversation and questions, and respond in turn.
Look them in the eyes. Otherwise, they may feel invisible. Devalued. Open your vision so that the entirety of the person comes to you; don’t bore a hole in them.
Listen. For what is underneath and around the words being said. Listen for what isn’t being said. Listen for intent.
If it gets really quiet after you have asked a question, sit in silence and let insight be known.
Ask about feelings. If you fail to ask, nothing changes.
Be clear when you feel the need to add something to the conversation. However, less talk on your part is more.
If you run out of time, schedule another time to continue your conversation.
Life Lessons For Leaders – Communication: How Do You Say I Care?
Infants learn language by distinguishing the silences between sounds and the way the sounds are put together. They also learn meanings based upon nuances and emotions behind the words. They begin to organize their world around the words that they hear frequently; the words become the tools that enable them to interact with their environment. This is how they make the human connection.
I believe this activity continues throughout our adult lives. However, the conversations we have as leaders are predicated upon the words we learned, and the behavior we witnessed as children.
What was your first word? What word did you use most often? Did you know how to say ‘no’ before you knew ‘yes’? What was the ratio of a loving ‘good job’ to the shriek of ‘stop that’? Where does the child learn to yell “I hate you”? ‘No’, ‘stop that’ and ‘I hate you’ are not inborn. They are learned, as are the behaviors that go with them.
Does this mean that those of us who learned the negativity, the violence, or the concept of victimhood need to stay there? No. It simply means we need to be aware of, and willing to change our language and our way of thinking. We need to affirm, often, for ourselves and others the words of “yes”, “good job”, “I want to know what you think” and “I care about you”. It means we need to learn how to listen, not only to the words, but to the nuances and emotions behind the words. We need to re-organize our world around the words of kindness, compassion, inclusivity and commitment.
Susan Scott, in her book Fierce Conversations, says:
Our work, our relationships, and our lives succeed or fail one conversation at a time. While no single conversation is guaranteed to transform a company, a relationship, or a life, any single conversation can. Speak and listen as if this is the most important conversation you will ever have with this person. It could be. Participate as if it matters. It does.
As a leader, how do you say, “I care about you”?
Life Lessons For Leaders – Caring Communications
We have developed communications systems to permit man on earth to talk with man on the moon. Yet mother often cannot talk with daughter, father to son, black to white, labor with management or democracy with communism. ~ Hadley Read
I would add several more paradoxical situations to this quote, straight to gay, republican to democrat, or left to right. But those issues are not what I want to talk about today.