Value is everywhere
When we learn how to look for it, we can find
value almost anywhere, in just about any situation.
There are situations all around we that contain
potential value. All we have to do is learn to recognize this value, and then
determine how to extract it and convert it into wealth. It is similar to crude
oil beneath the ground. We know it’s down there somewhere -- the trick is to
find it, get it out, and make something useful (like gasoline) out of it.
Where do we look for hidden value?
We can begin with ourselves. Think of all the
skills and knowledge we possess. Sit down and make a list of all the things we
do well. Now, let’s look at our list and ask ourselves this question: “Who
could benefit from the skills and the knowledge that we possess?”
Open our mind and consider the possibilities.
Then figure out a way to sell our skills and our knowledge to those people. It
could be in the form of a “how to” report. Perhaps we’ve figured out a unique
way that saves costs in business, in a service. People will pay we for that
technique.
We can also find hidden value in other people and other
businesses.
The trick is to look at every situation and try
to find value in it. When we start doing this, unlimited possibilities open up,
not only for material gain but for personal development as well. Take a look
around we. What hidden values can we detect?
We’re worth more than we think
We probably have some idea of our current net worth. Do we?
Chances are, we know approximately what our house
is worth, how much money we have in the bank, the value of our investments, and
how much debt to subtract from all that.
However, those tangible assets are trivial
compared to the hidden, intangible assets that we possess. No matter what we’ve
managed to accumulate to date in material wealth, it cannot compare to the
wealth that lies hidden within us.
One of the most powerful
things we can do is to become aware of this wealth, and start using it to our
best advantage. Once we understand all the treasures that we already possess,
unlimited possibilities open up for us.
Ask....Ask....Ask...
A way to Make It EASIER For
Others To DO, What We Want-Than NOT To!
Until we learn and use the methods of ASKING, as
learnt from the early stages of life, we will find it difficult to realize how
easy it is to get what we want just by properly ASKING for it!
The proper method is for us to make it easier for
others to do what we reasonably ASK-than not to do it.
Here's how:
Why People Will Do What We WANT.
All of us have been taught, trained, and
"attitude-conditioned" to do what we are ASKED. This "doing what
is ASKED" is a form of "learned response" which is begun in
early childhood, and continues throughout life. Without it, civilization could
not have functioned smoothly and the result would be chaos, total conflict and
the ultimate destruction of organized society. Not only must we ASK but we need
be reasonable, it must sound reasonable. The more reasonable our request is and
the more readily it will be granted.
We ought to ASK persuasively.
The method of ASKING depends upon using the
Personal Influence which is the Psychology of influence-by-persuasion. Never
DEMAND! Never even sound demanding.
We ought to ASK pleasantly-without pressure.
We ought not to let our voice or manner imply
pressure. Pressure creates resistance-and resistance is the exact opposite of
what you want. What we want is agreement, cooperation and friendly compliance.
We ought to ASK positively.
We need to let our voice and
manner, in every way, imply that, of course, the other person will be agreeable
and cooperative by gladly doing what we ASK for.
We ought to ASK firmly.
This is the most difficult (and probably the most
important) technique of ASKING successfully-because we must give the firm
impression that what we ASK for is so reasonable, logical and just - that we
should pleasantly persist until we get it!
The needed skill is to ASK firmly - with the
implication of continuing persistence - BUT we need to do it courteously,
reasonably, persuasively, pleasantly, without any offensive pressure and
without threatening argument. We need to develop the skill of implying
persistence-without pressure. When we master this skill, we will make it easier
for others to do what you want-than not to do it! And our success is thereby
assured! This applies to our dealings with everybody - individuals, groups,
businesses.
Let's use businesses as an
example:
The most successful businesses have learned that
it simply requires too much valuable time to argue with a customer or a
prospect. At today's high wage-rates, executive and employee time probably will
cost much more than whatever could be gained or saved by arguing.
The most expensive element in business is time!
Time is too costly to waste in arguing.
The usual business policy now is: If what a
customer or prospect ASKS is reasonable and if the cost of doing it does not greatly
exceed the cost of arguing about why the business may not do it-then best is to
do it pleasantly, agreeably, and promptly - without wasting any time arguing!
This policy began many years ago, when the more
intelligent businesses started using the now famous slogan: "The customer
is always right!" Their sales skyrocketed - and so did their profits!
Now almost all businesses have adopted this
policy, even though they may no longer visibly display the slogan: "The
customer is always right!" Arguing costs too much. Arguing with customers
and prospects not only wastes costly employee and company time, but it loses
sales and it incurs ill will. Every cost-conscious, customer relations-minded
business acts on the proven principle that it is less costly, as well as good
business, to agree with its customers and prospects, and promptly comply with
their reasonable requests.
Businesses have learned the high cost of not
doing what people reasonably ASK! So we can be sure that most businesses will
respond favorably to what we ASK. In fact, almost all people will do what we
reasonably ASK - for the very practical reason that it probably will be easier
to do what we ASK, than
to risk the time-consuming explanations, discussions and
possible argument
~ which might result from refusing your reasonable, logical,
courteous request. Also, agreeably doing what we ASK will win our goodwill
which is preferable to incurring our ill will by refusing to do what we
pleasantly and expectantly ASK.
ASKING ~ positively persuasively, firmly,
pleasantly-without pressure or demand, will get us things we want.
Always Soliciting Kindly, is the way to go.
Beyond the Ordinary Syndrome
People who try their best at whatever they are
doing will not waste time, and they do not manifest any of the symptoms of this
suitability syndrome.
“Good enough”, just isn’t good enough for people
who try. No matter what we do. We should like to do it thoroughly. That is the
key to success. And we have to instill this principle of doing things
thoroughly, in all those people who are associated with us. That is a principle
that people should apply to everything, not just products. Doing your very best
until the very end is not only important it is also essential. So it's a hope
today’ young will immerse themselves in creative, distinctive activities rather
than just studying “enough” and following the crowd. Picking what is right for
us and depending on our capabilities, and ensuring that we give our everything,
is the way to go.
Only then will the sweat of our effort yesterday
for today carry on to tomorrow. Whether one is studying or making a living, “good
enough”, should not be good enough for any of us. The crux is look beyond the
ordinary.
Just some little hints as to how you would want to do it..
There are many good ways to demonstrate value to our
employers, but there are also some things we need to avoid:
IF WE WOULD WANT TO GET AHEAD
- WE SHOULD NEVER SAY……
We should
NEVER SAY, "They didn't get back to me” or “they are getting back to me.” Leaving the ball in someone else’s court, for all intents and
purposes,
stops the action. Take the initiative.
We should
NEVER SAY, "I thought someone else was taking care of that." An excuse like that
is a roadblock to action. Instead, we need to look into what is going on in
order to keep things moving.
We should NEVER SAY, "No one told me." When we let our manager hear us talk this way, we make a very clear statement about how we work.
In other words, we are oblivious to what is going on around us.
We should NEVER SAY, "I
just assumed….” Making assumptions is the best
way to make ourselves obsolete.
We
should NEVER SAY, "I left him/her a message." This doesn’t absolve us of
your responsibilities and in real terms it means we
have really accomplished anything.
We should
NEVER SAY, "I didn't know you wanted me to do that." Teflon is passé in
today’s business world. Statements such as this suggest that we are capable of
doing only what we are told and not much more.
We should
NEVER SAY, "I didn't have time,” or "I was too busy." If we find ourselves
saying those things, we need be aware that we are probably writing our
employment obituary and that our job tombstone will read, "Here lies
Jack... , Jill... , XYZ..., who couldn't handle the job."
We should NEVER SAY, "But
it wasn't due until….". Last minute
performance
is out. Managers know that what's done at the
last minute doesn't leave enough time for proper evaluation, revision, and
refinement. Second-rate performance just isn’t good enough.
We should NEVER SAY,
"It's scheduled for….." The
schedule is only important
if completion will be on time. Schedules must be
actively verified as many times as necessary.
We should NEVER SAY, "As
I understand it….” We should stop playing games
at work, which is near to "politics,"
or at least the way it is said, we're hedging and that spells trouble for us.
Using words like this indicates that we're a spectator, not an active
participant. Spectators don't play the game and they don't get to share in the
rewards.
We should NEVER SAY,
"I'll do it as soon as I get it from….” This
is not good
enough. If we think we’re just
a cog in the process, we’ll soon be out of a job. Even though it may not be our
fault that it’s late, we need to make it our goal, nay, our purpose to deliver
on time, every time.
We should
NEVER SAY, "I'm going to get on that right away." Sure we will, but only
after someone had to remind us about it! Doing this we're sending the message
that we are disorganized and that we deal with things only when someone else
brings them to our attention. If that’s the case, let's be assured our days are
numbered.
We should
NEVER SAY, "I've been trying to get everyone together, but…” This just doesn't
wash these days. Such a statement makes it appear that we can't handle
responsibility, or that our associates and colleagues don't even respond to our
requests. Either way, we’re in trouble.
We
should NEVER SAY, "I haven't been able to get through to
him/her…” Surely, despite mobiles getting people is still a mighty big
issue these days, it ranges from
being switched off, to any number of reasons including they would not want to
speak to us. The communication barriers are higher than ever before. Getting
creative, and doing what it takes to get the response we were looking for, is
the key. Sitting back and making excuses is only a sign that we can't cut the mustard!
The message in business today
is very clear. The only measure for success is
performance - our performance,
company performance, industry
performance... and the chain
moves on. Whatever roadblocks we may face, its
our job to remove them. Otherwise, we'll be perceived as just
another one of
the barriers and something to be eliminated.
Let's go beyond the "ordinary
syndrome," and become one who accomplishes, not one who is
"perfectionist," who struggles to accomplish many things.
Pencils, the First Known
Keyboard In Life
It's been the same then and now, the first
alphabets we learn to write are with a pencil,
and later move on to other writing devices like the pen to such a thing like I
am doing write now penning this to you all through the laptop's keyboard. And
when we go back in time, every learned person, every scientist, every inventor
used the same device to write, the "pencil."
It plays an enormous role in our life, yet very humble, very modest, very
unassuming, to such an extent that it goes virtually unnoticed. Very hard to
imagine what our life would have been without the "pencil."
There's also a small anecdote as to how the
"pencil" was found useful when man was exploring space. We need just
to Google to get the entire list of cosmonauts, but one thing that is common to
all but that which has never been mentioned at all is the "pencil."
There was a massive problem about objects moving
when the space craft is out of the earth's gravity. Everything inside would be
floating. And a writing device like a pen had a few more problems, ink wouldn't
flow down the barrel to the pen's nib, or ball point pens would freeze.
Therefore taking down any note became an issue. Several learned heads,
engineers, technologists put their heads together, spent hours, and millions of
dollars, without any concrete result, till one find day, someone felt and
asked, "What do the Russians do?" They went back to them posed the
problem and asked them, as to what do they do. Their reply was simple,
"What happened to the pencil?" That sounded a brilliant idea which
was flashed back to NASA, and it is said, it was from that time that they too
began using the "pencil." So you can now see that the
"pencil" has made several trips to outer space too. Sometimes you and
I are also like the "pencil,"
and in many ways.
You can get to understand a lot more, please read this ....
"THE PARABLE OF THE
PENCIL"
The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him
into the box.
“There are 5
things you need to know,” he
told the pencil, “Before I send you out into the world.
Always remember them and never forget, and you will
become the best pencil you can be.”
One: “You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow
yourself to be held in someone’s
hand.”
Two: “You will experience a painful
sharpening from time to time, but you’ll need it to become a better pencil.”
Three: “You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.”
Four: “The most important part
of you will always be what's inside. What is in the you is greater than what is
around it. The core in you are greater than the environment surrounding you.
Your potentials will change your environment.”
And Five:
“On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the
condition, you must continue to write.”
The pencil understood and promised to remember,
and went into the box with purpose in its heart.
Now replacing the place of the pencil with us -
you and me. Let's always remember them and never forget, and we can become the
best person we can be.
One: “We will be able to do many great things, but only if we allow
yourself to be held by our hand in
our early years. And allow other human beings to access us for the many gifts
we possess.”
Two: “We will experience a
painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems in life, but we’ll need it to become
stronger persons.”
Three: “We will be able to correct any mistakes we might make. We just need an
eraser for accompaniment”
Four: “The most important part of we will always be what’s
on the inside.”
And Five:
“On every surface we walk through, we must leave your mark. No matter what the
situation, we must continue to do our duties.”
Let's allow this parable on the pencil to
encourage us to know that we are a special person and only each of us can
fulfill the purpose for which we were born to accomplish. Let's realize our
"purpose." Let's never allow ourselves to get discouraged to even
imagine that our life is insignificant and cannot make a difference.
So many people spend years (and money) studying
to become doctors, lawyers, actors, dancers, business executives and scientists
- any of us, you, me any one can can be any of these things, and we will not
need a degree or certificate for our imagine with an open mind, a dream to
realized, which we can, and so let's keep a "pencil" to keep our company, so we would want to
"pencil" our thoughts, when mind-jogging,
We know too much… feel too
little
Let me begin with a story:
“A telephone operator, in a
small town would receive a call from a man who would ask the exact time.
Finally curiosity getting the better of him one day, he asked the caller why he
did every day.
“Because,” he said, “I’m the one responsible for
blowing the whistle at noon each day.”
“Well that’s strange,” the operator replied, “everyday
exactly at noon I set my clock, hearing your whistle.”
It’s unknown inter-dependence. Individuals can’t
be compartmentalized. Through our actions, direct/indirect, we impact each
other more that we can imagine or realize. It follows that we have all been
created to preside over a certain period on this planet by inter-dependence and
intra-dependence, so it is vital that we understand one another better.
One way to learn about emotions, a key to
understand human behavior and relationships. Pity that some people live under
the illusion that they are independent.
Expressing ‘emotions,’ is a part of life, unlike words,
which we can use to express ourselves. Emotions are rarely put in words.
Individuals may or may not choose to express disappointments or failures, but
their tone or voice, becomes critical, which is not what is said, but how it
is.
Our emotions can either energize or sap our
physical body. What lies between ‘ease’ and ‘disease,’ is the invisible world
of ‘emotion.’ Grief, anger, fear and negative emotions tend to stay with us
more longer, much after the provocation dies down. Sad feelings last indefinitely
and that is why we constantly remember the beloved one’s lost. Happy feeling on
the contrary, come in a hurry and go in a hurry. This fleeting style of
happiness is hardly ever remembered too long in life.
Being
anxious about the ‘future’ or regretful about the ‘past’ we let the fullness of
the ‘present,’ slip into nothing. Confronting this vast reservoir of
unprocessed ‘emotion,’ is most challenging.
Reflection provides direction. Expression is the
bridge to the emotional world, but emotional well-being lies beyond mere
expressions. We need to care for emotions and develop professional practices to
integrate our physical and
emotional well-being, not unconsciously, incidentally
by fumbling, or accidentally by stumbling, but by a determined, deliberate and
a conscious effort, otherwise, even the best of intent, we will end up being
caught in old habits, which it is said dies hard.
I sign off with this story of blending and bondage, we are all
so used to:
"The tea leaves fall into boiling water
knowing very well that it will be thrown away as waste after use. Sugar jumps
into the hot tea decoction fully aware that it will dissolve and lose its
identity. Milk willingly unites with the black tea with the full knowledge that
it will lose its fair complexion and become brown. The outcome of the sacrifice
on the part of the tea leaves, sugar and milk is that a delicious cup of tea is
born !"
You’ll find the idea fanciful, yet, quite thought
provoking. How many sacrifices, compromises, adjustments, letting go of
egoistic attitudes etc., is required in order to achieve something wonderful in
life, be it family, community, society, nation or the world!
However, there's a catch here : The ingredients
have to be in the right proportion, but doesn’t that 'right' proportion vary
from person to person? Each to his/her cup of tea, his/her lot in life!
Shy of Asking for help!
Asking for help is universally dreaded--but it's a skill that we
can learn.
The first question I have to ask is do we resist
asking for help--until it's our last resort?
If the answer is yes, then you’ve already joined the crowd.
The fierce independence we all enjoy these days
is creating a culture of live disconnected and connect only if you want to is
giving rise to unprecedented isolation. Attendance @ social meetings is down,
involvement in community activities has dropped, and to simply having friends
over to the house has decreased too. Meanwhile, one in three people say they
have no one to confide in -- and most everyone reports overwhelming levels of
stress at home and on the job.
The good news?
We can learn to ask for help.
But first, we've got to figure why you don't, why we should, and
how we can.
Why we don't ask for help
Asking for help is so frightening that, even when
faced with death, some of us will still not ask for that helping hand. To
overcome this dread, you've got to debunk some common cultural myths--and face
your fears:
Myth : Asking for help makes us look weak or needy.
Reality : There's no shame in turning to others in times of need. In fact,
it's a sign of strength.
Myth : Asking for help signals incompetence--especially at work.
Reality : Seeking help at work shows
others that you want to do the job right--and to develop and learn.
Myth : Asking for help can harm relationships.
Reality : Healthy relationships are about give-and-take--not just give.
Myth : Asking for help puts others in an awkward position.
Reality : It's human nature to offer
help when you see someone in need--and it's
no different when others see us in need.
Myth : Asking for help might lead to rejection.
Reality : Even a "no" response
offers the opportunity to learn more about
yourself--and your relationships.
Myth : Asking for help means the job might not get done right.
Reality : Refusing to ask for fear of losing control maintains the status
quo.
Let go and give our helpmate a chance to shine.
Myth : Asking for help means we'll have to return the favor.
Reality : Help freely given comes with
no strings attached--other than a simple
and sincere thank-you.
Myth: Asking for help just isn't our way of living.
Reality : Independence
and self-sufficiency are admirable qualities that lead to success. Still, all great enterprises--including our
nation--were built on mutual support and teamwork.
Why we should ask for help
Mastering this art can ease and enhance our life
and career in a variety of ways.
Asking for help:
- Deepens connections : When someone answers our call for help, it strengthens the bond between us--or creates the potential for a
new relationship.
- Reduces stress and restores
energy : Getting help can save you time and energy, simplify our life, and improve
our work-life balance.
- Reminds us that you're not
alone : Everyone needs help at times. If
you're the type who endures
hardships with grim determination, you'll discover you don't have to go it
alone.
- Gives happiness to others : Don't we feel good when we help someone else? Letting others help us gives them that same opportunity.
- Leads to personal growth : Taking risks, learning to trust, and finding out that others have got our back are just
a few of the lessons we'll learn.
- Allows the pleasure of
surrender : Being out of control can actually
feel great. Once asking for help
gets a little easier, we'll relish the experience of letting go.
- Reminds you that we're worthy
of support : We deserve a hand as much as anyone else. When someone comes to our
aid, it reinforces that message.
- Lets others shine : Seeking help gives others the opportunity to reach out, contribute, and try something new.
- Clarifies relationships : Mayday calls reveal the strengths and limitations of relationships--and provide important
"aha" moments.
-
Solves problems : Don't
overlook the original reason for the Mayday call: We're in trouble and need help--help that could potentially
change, or even save, your life.
How we can ask for help
Too many of us would rather go it alone when help
is right there--just for the asking.
Here are ways to reach out with comfort and confidence:
- Practice : Like building our muscles requires regular exercise. Challenge ourselves to ask for help
three times a day--every day.
- Go easy on ourselves : Self-care is the new self-help. Be compassionate with our self--and remember that we,
too, are deserving of help.
- Cast a wider net : Expand our list of helpmates. Look beyond the obvious— family and friends, and colleagues --
and add some new names to the list, starting with someone who's been in our
shoes.
- Plan the time--and place : Talk to our potential helpmate as soon as possible. Pick a convenient time for him or her, and do it in
person--and in private.
- Be specific : Articulate our needs. Clarify what we're looking for--from terms to timelines--though be careful
not to micromanage.
- Listen differently : Be attentive to the subtle cues behind a general "yes"
or "no" response. Is your
potential helpmate willing--or reluctant?
- Use the "three
thanks" rule : Don't flub the thanks. Express
our gratitude three times--when the
agreement is struck, when the need has been met, and when we next see your
helpmate.
Ask early, ask often - No one is immune from needing help, even in today's
go-it-alone culture. So, take a risk and "make the
ask"--early and often. It
just may change our life!
I need help.
I really need it, as
I want to know each of you all even more than I know you now.
I want to enhance my stature as a human being, so
I want to get even closer to you all.
I want cheer to prevail on me, and I can do it
only when I can see we all cheerful.
Am not being selfish, but I have asked for these
three helps for this day, please offer it to me.
Inspiring
true story Originally Published in the Readers Digest.
BACKUP BAND-AID
Babette Lazarus, New York, New York
I was riding the subway and happened to be seated
between two young guys. The one on the right eyed the slightly grungy Band-Aid
on my thumb and said, “You should really change that, you know. You have to
keep it clean.” Then the one on my left said, “Here, I have one,” and pulled a
fresh Band-Aid out of his knapsack. “I keep them on me because I’m always
hurting myself.” Incredulous, I thanked him, changed my bandage, and got off at
my stop feeling pretty good about people, life, and New York City.
Mission
"To succeed in your mission, you must have
single-minded devotion to your goal." - A. P. J. Abdul Kalam
"Outstanding people have one thing in
common: an absolute sense of mission." - Zig Ziglar
"My measure of success is whether I'm
fulfilling my mission."
- Robert Kiyosaki
