Let me begin with this thought
Never ever regret,
especially doing the right thing even to the wrong
people, because being good is more important than just
being.
Not everyone will appreciate you,
but, the right people always will,
and remember you for that.
As long as you nourish desires. You are alive
As long as you chase your desires. You are young
The day you start suppressing your desires
You will start feeling old
You will start getting old
The day you free yourself from your
desires You are like dead, because
Everyone, EVERYTIME,
everywhere desires
- to achieve
- to accomplish
- to acquire
- to give
- to be free
- to be comfortable
- to this...to that...
of one or the other kind, and this
keeps moving..
So why not you desire that everyone around you succeeds and is
happy..
The more you give the more you get...
Happy living...
“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and
the life of the candle will not be
shortened.
“Happiness is the art of never holding
in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passed.”
“To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others.”
Confidence
Some have it in abundance; some think they don't
have it at all. For such who don't, it's not lack of ability, inability, or
lack of skill. It is just barriers placed on themselves, knowingly or
unknowingly. It's arrogance, or ignorance, nothing in between.
Barriers
1.
Self-Defeating - assumptions thinking
can't, even without attempting, so they
just don't even start. If they do, it's filled with doubts.
2.
Setting "big or high or distant goals" - mostly false prestige for covering inferior feeling.
3.
Declaring "victory" or "loss," too soon. Assuming one were to exercise for reducing weight, just when a few kilos have been lost, they
indulge in chocolates, pastries, cakes, cheese and fats, instead of waiting for
the whole course. They lose the battle. Using the same experience, after
working out for a good time, though not completely, and when results are seen,
they give up a little too soon.
4.
Do it yourself(ism) has no confidence in others, wants to do it by self, forgetting
best results come working together on common goals in a team.
5.
Blaming someone else - perennials of perfection, who think they can't, just
can't go wrong, and when they do they think it isn't because of them.
6.
Defensiveness - unwanted protectionism by others, which makes them assume
they are being attacked always, even when being advised.
7.
Neglecting to anticipate set-backs is an extension of perfectionism, forgetting set back is a reality. There's no point trying to be
positive meaning "blind optimism."
8.
Over-Confidence a false mask one
wears to hide weakness. It is a sweet spot
between "despair" and arrogance.
Beauty has so many forms, and the most beautiful thing is
confidence and
loving yourself. ...
To have Confidence
You gain
strength, courage, and confidence by
every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
Cross The Line
Everything is within a
"boundary," which means it is a "line."
On the one side there's a greater chance to make
good things and become "big."
(Crossing this means risk-taking and that's
confidence which courageous do). And on the other side "there's less or
little or no chance."
(Weak minded, comfort zone players don't risk at all)
It's all about the choices we make, to be where we want to be.
Choosing
- to commit
- to be determined
- to work hard
- to focus
- to anticipate set backs
- to bounce back
When things go tough, increase confidence.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
Knowing these few things be at your confident best always.
Three Rules if observed, can
help a great deal.
i.
Sometimes the best response is
not to offer one.
ii.
Not all opportunities are
meant to be taken, some may be a trap.
iii.
Someone's eagerness and greed
may be so much that they can you to partner them. It destroys them and if you
fall to their temptation, you
fall as well.
As a materialistic society, in
which we live today, we have fixed metrics for success that is based on
external indicators which aren't a true indicator of real success or happiness.
Don't be impressed by
- Money
- Degrees
- Job Title
- Connections
Things that really matter in life doesn't come with a price tag.
FOCUS ON THESE … For instance
… Be impressed by
- Kindness
- Humility
- Generosity
Mirroring An Experience
1. Forming and influencing
opinions - In every relationship, we get into be
it business or personal, we need to go
with our eyes open and willing to see people for who they are, not who what
others say they are or who we are or what others say we are. Forming our own
opinions, can be judgmental, and most are guilty of this.
2. Not encourage commitment, but
seeking compliance - Any management can achieve compliance from those they
employ, which means it is merely getting people to do what they’ve been hired
for. But when leaders lead their people to truly commit to their work, they get
more out of them because they want to, not because they have to. When lead in
this fashion naturally more will be committed to the cause, and so get engaged
fully.
3. Fond of the position and the
chair - At some point in their career most
seek positions, get fond of the
chair in their cabins and because of the power given to them, they would want
others to come to them for almost everything, approvals and sanctions are just
small components of the responsibility. On the contrary best leaders and
managers are those who mostly MBWA (Manage By Wandering Around). In fact, in
the armed forces it is said the best officer is one who is with the soldiers in
the trench.
4. Not getting to know the people
we are working with - There can be many reasons for this including our “ego”
or assumptions about ourselves (created or cultivate), hence would be mostly
self-centred. This doesn’t help the cause for any leader, because staying close
to the people who are serving for a cause or work in the organization, are the
one’s who we need to get to know more intimately
5. Taking decisions without
knowing it’s impact or keeping people’s feelings in mind - Most failures of well-conceived plans get poorly implemented
because of the arm-chair decision
making process.
6. Not acknowledging others success
nor celebrate - A true leader is one who may be the author of the entire
content of the plan or the strategy. Gaining the right commitment and a
consensus buy-in, with everyone participating in the process and feeling
consulted. Projects of this nature will definitely meet success, and they need
to be celebrated.
7. Feedback not asked - Most people would tend to be diplomatic naturally wanting to avoid conflict, so most won’t
tell the leadership and the management what they really think, unless they are
asked for an honest free feedback, and that which will not be taken on them or
misconstrued.
8. Expecting people will do the
right thing always - Having systems, processes, procedures in place is one
thing, which majority of businesses will claim on paper, but hardly prevalent
on the ground. Should everything go fine, it’ll seem great, but when things go
wrong the “blame game,” starts. I’m right, you are wrong.
9. Not inspiring enough, leave
aside greatness - Organizations can demand the backs and hands of employees because
they have been hired, and perhaps the employees feel secure because they have a
job which helps them and their family, but they will volunteer their hearts and
minds only when inspired. Great leaders have the ability to tap into the latent
talents and energies of people in a way that unleashes discretionary effort. In
this way, organizations can move past mediocrity and towards greatness.
10. Not aligning passion with
purpose - Not many of us can claim to have a job that we are passionate about.
Passion in one thing and doing something for a living is another altogether. If
one can align his/her passion with his/her purpose, you will find fulfilment in
whatever they choose to do in life. When a job starts to feel like a ‘job’ one
ought to evaluate whether or not they feel they’ve aligned with their ‘purpose’
in life. Not having alignment with our purpose affects who we are as a person
and a professional.”
11. Not embracing discomfort - At some time or the other we all will have to undertake activities or encounter
situations that we don’t enjoy. And because we don’t like that we tend to avoid
as we’re scared or feel uncomfortable.
Real growth however, is to
take on those activities first, or encounter such situation with gusto. The
sooner we embraced is comfort the more we will triumph and gain in confidence.”
12.
Not being real - There’s a
lot of make belief in our life. Very few express themselves exactly the way they are. Being authentic and to be
accessible would be a phenomenal advertisement of a great leader.
13. Not be yourself - We have all been made to be natural and what we are meant to be, but most people tend to
copy other people by their style, their appearance, by their mannerisms, their
thoughts, their sayings, their ideology.
Honestly we can’t really copy anyone else’s style
effectively, no matter how much we look up to him or her, instead, we need to
be trendy and make
We need to be unique.
14. Being rigid, inflexible and
not knowing when change is needed - It’s very common for people to have a mind-set, or
come with an ideology that has had an impression upon them, which can go as far
as their childhood. Such people may also believe, what they say or do is the
right thing. They may even begin to preach their learning, without even
realizing they may be wrong or they need to change. Extreme step would be, ‘sometimes
the only way to change people is to change the people.’
15. Not being honest - One important aspect of a genuine leader is to be honest. If the leader has to deliver a
tough message, it is best to be honest and truthful. This is understood,
leaders will be highly trusted and appreciated
16.
Not showing enough gratitude - Most bosses fail here. One ought to never underestimate the importance of the words ‘please’ and ‘thank
you’. By using them good leaders demonstrate a level of respect that people
desire and appreciate, and that too can help build trust.”
17. Not being sensitivity - Being honest and candid is one thing, but what is very important is to still maintaining
the others’ self-esteem.
18. Not conquering enough. - Everyone around us has their experiences too.
Good leaders are one’s who take others’ experiences
too. They add good one’s to their experience, and learn from the other’s
mistakes as to how not to repeat them or make them.
19. Not planning for future
prosperity of either their or the others - The
best way to turn any leadership
example into action is to make it official.
A Bird In The Hand
Many years ago, in ancient China, the disciples
of a wise master decided to play a trick on him. They selected one of their
number to pose an unanswerable question.
The youth approached the master. “Wise master, in
my hand I have a bird. Can you tell me if it is alive or dead?”
The master thought for a moment. If he replied “alive”,
the youth would crush the bird and prove him wrong. If he said “dead”, then he
would release the bird and let it fly away.
Clearly, the apprentices couldn’t lose and the master couldn’t
win.
“Certainly,” the master replied after barely a
moment’s thought. “The life of the bird is in your hands.”
Moral: When
you manage others, you can always do one of two things: "grind them to
death or inspire them to life."
Leadership is either
"Build or Crush"
Leadership is a rich subject. Google and you’ll
get countless sites opening to leadership of all sorts from concepts and
techniques to the way leaders are and the way they have shaped themselves. All
of it available at our fingertips.
We all tend to have fundamental ideas about
leadership we learned from what we read and from others who are leaders in our
lives. We often unwittingly generalize leadership fundamentals from our
experiences and behavior we learned from other leaders. From these ideas we
build our unique mental model of leadership.
Eventually, all leaders find situations where
their mental model of leadership fails. I submit such times should invoke in us
careful inspection of our leadership model. But who has time for that, and how
does one do that anyway?
Unfortunately, doing so isn’t naturally intuitive
so we may have to think a little deeper and be a little more persistent in the
process.
You the Person
The first
leadership fundamentals are about you, the person. We all can argue to any
length, but, all other leadership fundamentals hinge on how well leaders master
this category.
There are three of you to be concerned with:
1. The you that is within you – whom you feel you ought to be.
2. The other you is who you actually are and you are aware of.
These two of you aren’t always the same.
3. The third you, which is who others see and whom you might not be
aware of. The third you can differ significantly from the first two because the
third you is what others interpret from your behavior and words
Getting the first two of you in sync with each
other is probably your most important and ongoing objective, and it starts with
being honest with yourself. This is contrary to one tendency in our nature,
which is to rationalize away criticism from the most important critic, you.
When we
rationalize we tend to blame others and/or the
situation to cast off accountability and responsibility for change.
When we look at leaders from successful businesses
as well as successful societies, those who demonstrate the best leadership
skills are those who bring the best out of others. They get people to realize
their potential. They make others think they are great. They build the most
precious resource of all: the people they lead.
Here are 3 ways of building
people.
1. Building People by Sowing
Good Habits
The Greek philosopher Aristotle said that excellence
wasn't something you arrived at after a long period of preparation but a habit.
Excellence is the result of doing things in an outstanding way repeatedly. In
poorly-led organizations, excellence is rare because there is nobody to set the
habit example and encourage regular acts of outstanding performance. In
well-led organizations, leaders coach people through regular, unremitting, and
positive attention to good habits.
2. Building People by Your
Expectations of Them
A team does as well as you and the team think
they will. In an experiment at a British school, teachers were given assorted
ratings about a new set of intakes, ranging from "excellent prospect"
to "unlikely to do well". These ratings were arbitrary and bore no relation
to the pupils' true abilities. In tests at the end of the year, there was an
astonishing degree of correlation between how pupils performed and the random
ratings given to the teachers.
3. Building People to Create
the Vision
One popular image of the successful leader is the
person who, by force of willpower and personality takes over an ailing
enterprise and magically turns it around, transforming failure into success,
loss into profit and disaster into triumph. The reality is that there are very
few examples of such leadership. And yet there are many examples of leaders who
come into an enterprise, set themselves and their teams a vision of what is
possible and then bit by bit, through hard times and good, build towards the
vision.
The one thing that distinguishes leaders from
managers is that leaders know that people cannot be measured like a raw
material on the balance sheet. Great leaders know that, when called upon,
people will respond to the needs of the enterprise. And they do that by
building people.
Let me close this narrating a small tale to
emphasize the fact that Leaders will either “crush” or “build” people around them. It all
depends on how they are nurtured and grown to be what they become.
Learning for the day
Leadership - what it means, and what does it take
to become one great leader.
Everyone wants to become a leader in whichever
role they play, isn't it? However to being or to become a leader isn't as easy
as peeling an orange or a banana and consuming it. And to being or becoming a
great leader is all the more tougher, difficult and challenging.
Whoever wants to lead, motivate or support
his/her tribe, always falls short. That doesn't mean one can't ever. It just
means one needs to put in some more extra effort persistently and very
sincerely too.
Here below, I share some tips
based on my own empherical evidences in various contexts having worked almost
all my life with leaders in various capacities.
Ten Commandments from the
Leadership Bible.
A. Self-Awareness
B. Having a very clear and well-articulated vision/purpose.
C. Aspiration to inspire.
D. Never give up.
E. Share appreciation and credits with others.
F. Make others win.
G. Shift from demand, command to persuasion.
H. Humility and
authenticity to build healthy and
lasting relationships.
I. Honesty, purity, unselfishness, love and integrity.
J. Build genuine trust and
togetherness morally/ethically.
Just remember this :
Encouragement
and appreciation
from a leader has the potential to inspire anyone to reach their potential.
Learning for the day.
There's nothing called "good," or
"bad," it's an individual’s perception and definition.
We all have strengths, which far outweigh our weaknesses.
Let's explore Strengths
- Physical strengths.
Most of us are endowed with this. Helps us keep
our energy levels and keep us sustained, high because of stamina and better
because of endurance.
- Economic Strength
If anyone said, "money," isn't
important in life, he'd be a fool or a reckless "billionaire."
Most of us have enough to basically make a decent
living - Food, Clothing, Shelter, Fun, Savings, Investments, Essential
affordables. We need to make the best of all our resources by adding or
reducing depending upon the situation in life.
- Mental Strength
This is vital because it helps us overcome our
shortcomings and setbacks. Bruce Lee for instance was known to have one leg
shorter than the other. Apart from building his martial arts ability he
practiced lethal kick shots at the rate of 5000 shots a day to become a master
of his game.
- Emotional Strength
It means to love and build trust. Else how can we
explain how couple these days make adjustments in their careers with their
schedules, travel, meetings, deadlines etc., that explains love. Why we would
go to meet our doctor if we are unwell, that explains trust.
-Spiritual Strength
Anything that helps you lift
your spirits. For instance never letting your Integrity, down or being Honest,
in thought, word, or deed and that too consistently.
Having these strengths will serve well in life.
What with several survey's saying more than 50% of the jobs that exist today
will be gone, if not reduced. What one would need to do is to anticipate
"changes," for survival, remembering that "changes are
constant".
we need to
- master a few skills
- master the changes
- master the content
- master the constant.
- People Skills
No one will disagree that for any organization to
be profitable and to succeed people are the assets while other things are vulnerable
to be liable. Most of the leading companies invest huge amounts of money not
just in growing business but they also do enough to build trust, empowering
them and placing accountability on their people.
Several research studies conclude that doing so
builds engaged and committed people in organizations. Some studies go on to add
that organizations do not suffer because of business problems, they suffer
because of people problems, both inside and outside the organization.
Persuading Skills
To do anything worthwhile, be it in business or
life, we have to have the ability to persuade, so we need to develop the art of
influencing and the art of selling our thoughts for action.
Prioritizing Skills
In very simple, plain terms this means our
ability to distinguish the difference between
"URGENT," and "IMPORTANT," things.
Isn't it true that it is always RESULTS, that are
awarded, not EFFORTS, which is a default expectation that
best may be appreciated at best.
Interpersonal Skills
The people with whom you work reflect your own attitude.
The art of being yourself at your best is the art
of unfolding your personality into the man you want to be. Be gentle with
yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, for only as we have the
right attitude toward ourselves can we have the right attitude toward others.
It is amazing what can be accomplished when nobody cares about who gets the
credit.
Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun
makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and hostility to
evaporate. Extend them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster.
Your life will never be the same again. Constant kindness can accomplish much.
As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and
hostility to evaporate.
Thought for today
There are 3C's which play a big role in our life.
They are CHOICES,
CHANCES, and CHANGES.
The world we live today offers us a variety of CHOICES, that can confuse us.
Be wise and evaluate the CHOICES weighing all the pros and cons. Then take your CHANCES take risks, challenging your
cocooned comfort zones, so that you can make the CHANGES that are needed, for there's no progress without a CHANGE.
Remember to be flexible and
open-minded, for what you CHANGE to
will have to undergo a CHANGE sooner or
later.
Yet another learning...
CHANGE, being an INEVITABLE
CONSTANT, you will be well advised to
TAILOR, your future accordingly.
See here below what TAILOR,
means when expanded.
Train for new skills constantly.
Acknowledge emergence of laser sharp
technologies, new thoughts, appreciate
and accept, realities, and be
Interested in learning new things outside
your areas of expertise, industry,
domains and interest.
Learn, unlearn, relearn continuously
and learn to apply learning putting it
to practice.
Organize your thoughts, words, deeds,
action so that it enhances both professional and
personal life. Just ensure you maintain a balance between both.
Recall,
reinforce everything you learn. Respect people around you as you can't succeed being a loner.
Re-engineer your life. Acquire
as much
Emotional Intelligence, as you can.
Your future revolves, around these factors.
As for progressing, in your future, be
it your career or your life, develop ANALYTICAL EXCELLENCE and PEOPLE
EXCELLENCE, it will serve you well in every environment you'll
prevail in.
A Thought
on Self-Awareness
As for me
I love where I stand today in life...
1.
Old enough to learn more about
Things I can
control
i.
My behaviour,
ii.
My goals
iii.
My efforts
iv.
My learning from mistakes
(mine and others)
v.
Taking care of myself and my
emotions
vi.
Choosing who my friends ougt
to be
vii.
Things outside my Control
viii.
What others say
ix.
What others think
x.
What others say about
themselves and others
xi.
What others say about me
xii.
Others being kind
xiii.
My past mistakes
xiv.
The weather
02. Young
enough to be curious
No matter how many ever times the teeth bites the
tongue, the remain together, work together, because they know the purpose of
their creation. They show us a simple principle of life - the spirit of
forgiveness and relationship.
3.
Experienced enough to share, accept, appreciate and wanting to be
the change, as all changes in life start with us.
The most precious "gift," we can offer
anyone is our "attention."
When mindfulness embraces those we love, they
will all blossom into flowers.
i.
Be Organized
ii.
Be Assertive
iii.
Mix Aggression with Defence
iv.
Make Good Use of Limited Opportunities
v.
Don't be Nervous or too Anxious
vi.
Keep Persisting
vii.
Create Openings
viii.
Be Excited, but let it be subdued
ix.
Take things moment by moment, don't rush and end in chaos
x.
Get Results
Learning Lessons for today.
These are lessons I drew watching the FIFA World
Cup Semi-finals last night between France and Belgium @ St. Pietersburg,
Russia.
To begin with no one gave France a chance against
this strong and emerging Belgium, because of their strategy, speed and
firepower in the striking positions.
France on the other hand came into this match
after they demolished Uruguay with their well-organized efforts of passes,
defence and attack. They had nothing to lose being labelled underdogs.
After the kick-off, if one were to sum up the game overall -
Statistics
a. Ball possession - Belgium 64% - France 36%.
b. Passes Completed - Belgium 593 - France 374.
c. Shots on Goals - Belgium 6 - France 16
d. Goals Scored - Belgium 0 - France 1
e. Final Result - France beat Belgium in the semi-finals to enter the final for the first time after 2006.
France was a more organized team which showed
character and temperament, never getting too anxious, persisted enough, never
lost either confidence or patience when defending, asserted itself with fine
sustained aggression, created more opportunities of fewer resources (percentage
of ball possession), yet made the best use of it and got the result they
wanted, a victory over Belgium to claim a berth in the finals.
It was just a one degree difference between
France being the champion side as compared to Belgium.
Self-doubt can be a troubling and persuasive voice that holds
you back.
It holds you back from seizing your
opportunities. It makes getting started or finishing things harder than they
need to be. Sure, it can sometimes be useful as it helps you to soberly see
your current limitations or simply recognize a half-baked or bad idea. But
mostly, it holds you back in life.
It is like this favourite
analogy of mine...
At 211° water begins to boil. At 212° boiling water
becomes steam which powers a locomotive. It is just that 1° that makes all the
difference.
Most people in the world work
hard till 211° and give up. That's when they end up being mediocre. The 212°
are the champions like the many we know in every field.
Mind this always.
We must keep our eyes and ears
open and be open to continuous learning. We enter a career with a set of
learning, which, if it has to be practical and applicable, one will have to
unlearn and the relearn.
To be up the
curve, to remain competitive, to remain relevant, this thing of - Learn -
Unlearn - Relearn, should become a life-long habit and goal.
SUCCESS doesn't come easily.
See the future, and you there
Understand the challenges
completely
Create a visual path
Clear your mind from self-doubt
Stay on track
Show the world you can do it.
i. AIRBNB didn't kill BLOCKBUSTER
o Ridiculous late fee did. ii.
UBER didn't kill TAXI business
o Limited access and fare control did.
iii. APPLE didn't kill the MUSIC industry
o Being forced to buy full length albums did.
iv.
AMAZON didn't kill the RETAILERS
o Poor customer service and experience did.
v.
AIRBNB isn't killing the HOTEL industry
o Limited availability and pricing options are.
TECHNOLOGY by itself isn't the disruptor, but,
not being customers centric is the biggest threat to any business.
Mind this...
Lessons I Draw From Hima Das' Success
1. Your past doesn't matter, your background doesn't matter. Don't
make it an excuse even to try, leave alone not winning.
2. Everything is possible with determination, discipline,
dedication and focussed hard-work.
3. Dream things that are way beyond your reach, and make it
possible keeping the "big picture," in mind always.
4. Don't run after glory or gold, just run after time.
5. Be humble and remain humble always.
Thought for the day
Let's be honest and let's
agree, we as humans are vulnerable and that all of us have some FEAR or the other that grips us and
holds us back from going forward.
If you want to conquer fear, don't sit home and think about it.
...
Don't let fear or insecurity stop you from trying new things.
...
I've learned that fear limits you and your vision.
The FEAR most are
gripped with are
- FEAR of being JUDGED
- FEAR of being RIDICULED
- FEAR of being CRITICIZED
- FEAR of being EVAULATED
- FEAR of INSECURITY (economic, mental or physical)
- FEAR of LONELINESS
- FEAR of UNDER PERFORMANCE
...the list can go on endlessly.
Running away from FEAR, is lack of confidence and
belief in self. It just doesn't take us anywhere.
To get rid of FEAR is to take it head on and encounter it.
FAILURE or SUCCESS, doesn't matter.
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by
every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. ...
Your taking an action to overcome your FEAR,
is what gets APPRECIATED. Sun Tzu, the author of THE ART OF WAR says,
"One has won or lost a battle in the mind, much before it began."
You must know what you want from life. There is just
one thing that makes your dream become impossible: the fear of failure.
Now that you know FEAR is with you and that
too in your MIND, make up your MIND, by committing yourself completely with
all the will and determination you can summon. FEAR, will melt.
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