We’re not all skilled at the same things, each talented in his/her own way and we don’t fully understand their range of abilities. Experts recommend starting with the theory of multiple intelligences. First introduced in his  book “Frames of Mind,” Howard Gardner, a psychologist and professor at Harvard University, states that there are eight types of human intelligence — each representing different ways of how a person best processes information.

Understand and build upon your strengths.

Emotional Intelligence – often referred to as “EI” or “EQ” (for “Emotional Quotient”). The researchers defined EQ as the ability to monitor one’s own and other’s emotions; discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately; and use emotional information to guide thinking and behaviour.

From

Failure to Sucess

Defeat to Victory

Failure/Defeat

- happens in  ways

Ignorance - When we can't see it

Arrogance - When we see it but don't do anything

Attempt - When we see it and try to do something about it

Routine - We do it because we have to, we don't know why it is done and don't know how to do it completely either

We Succeed/Win when we change ourselves, meticulously follow a  process, change our thinking become curious and changing our response to situations, being % present in the present time.

 

Mindless Practicing

We need to constantly keep asking ourselves "Why."

The legend goes that a Beer Distribution got a new CEO. As a part of settling in, he went about visiting various departments to understand the work and processes followed.

With his mind focussed on increasing the bottom-line, he was prospecting the how of how he could ramp up sales.

He noticed a peculiarity, that the liquor distribution to the country and outside the state used to be on Monday through Wednesday, with Thursday as a holiday and again Friday and Saturday distribution would happen locally.

He couldn't just understand this and was just not able to "crack the code."

None of them around him too had no idea. He went to meet his predecessor to find out the reason for this.

The former CEO said he didn't know anything about it

and suggested, "Let's go to meet the CEO prior to me, he will know!"

 

At the former CEO's house, after paying their respects and exchanging pleasantries they got down to  serious business.

One of them gathered courage and asked the  year old CEO, "Sir we will be obliged if you can throw light on the distribution of our beer, why is it staggered in this way that it goes to the  distant places the first three days - then a day's rest - and - two days of local supply another day's rest."

The elderly man smiled and narrated, "Supplies in those days were by horse drawn carts. Since the horses and the men will feel tired a days rested was ordered. The next two days they go to distribute stocks in the neighbourhood and enjoy the Sunday at home, suffiently rejuvenated for their next consignment drop off. It went on smoothly."

It was only then it dawned of the newer CEO's that their stocks today were distributed by lorries and not horses, hence there needs to be a revamp.

So as you can see, there are several such things that need to be reseasoned out and whatever processes pratices exist have to be revisted for conent and apply only those that fit in the present moment and time.

Review your policies and processes. Check for redundancy and get rid of it.

 

You do this...and be at the top...

 

Strengthen this No # skill for professional sucess - the ability to influence.

 

The Influencing and Persuasion Principle.

I learnt this  decades ago as I began my career. All this through observation, through conversations and listening to advise with care to apply. It just kept adding in as I matured and gained pratical experience. I got to know, to get people to go somewhere with us, we need to meet them where they are... and not just pretend that they are already where we want them to be.

Instead, go to their bus stop and from their bus stop, invite them on the bus.

Most people, particularly successful people, use the same strategy with others that they used to convince themselves to believe or do something, but.... other people are different!

Remember whatever we do we are in the business of selling

our idea,

our skill,

our thought,

our act,

our intent

our services...

that means we need to influence and persuade others..

And how?

How is:

It is about how to be  successful in thjngs we do.

· First Step : Diagnose - Identify the need, the pain, the gap, before we dispense the medicine

· The second step identify - what we are trying to influence/persuade/sell.

· The third step - identify who our stakeholders/ consumers/customers are.

· The fourth step identify - how many prospective stakeholders/consumers/customers we know.

· The fifth step - identify why exactly we you doing what  we are doing

· The sixth step identify our CQ - Credibility Quotient and find ways of building it

· The seventh step build our brand before we demand your price

· The eighth step power positioning

· The ninth step seven Golden rules of Marketing...

   - Start small, dream big.

   - Every huge business has started small. ...

   - Go step by step. Never stand still in the business world. ...

   - Invest less, but get more. ...

   - Be everywhere. ...

   - Never lie. ...

   - Turn negative into positive. ...

   - Never give up.

· The tenth step how to influence/persuade/sell like a Champ

· The eleventh step following up and manage.

 

When we can easily identify what is motivating people, how they think and how they make decisions, we'll be able to:

. Establish a deep level of rapport and communicate effectively with anyone

. Reduce conflicts and misunderstandings

. Take the pain out of implementing organizational change

. Shorten sales cycle and guarantee customer satisfaction

. Design powerful marketing and advertising campaigns

 

. Recruit the right people who fit and perform

. Dramatically improve results in negotiations and presentations

. Create learning programs to satisfy diverse needs, increase self-knowledge and competence

. Learn a whole new way to advance coaching skills, and the coaching business

. Lead high performance teams by managing peoples' strengths, instead of suffering from their weaknesses

See you at the top...

 

Summary of "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl

Man's Search for Meaning is a  book by Viktor Frankl chronicling his experiences as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps during World War II, and describing his psychotherapeutic method, which involved identifying a purpose in life to feel positive about, and then immersively imagining that outcome.

Author: Viktor E. Frankl

Purposeful Themes from Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frank

. Life asks you the meaning of life by questioning you; you don’t ask life. It’s not what you expect from life, but what life expects from you.

. Love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which you can aspire.

. Self-actualization is possible only as a side-effect of self-transcendence.

. Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue as a side-effect of a reason to be happy.

. The meaning of life is unique to each moment; no situation repeats itself.

. The meaning of life is unique to each individual; no one can be replaced.

. Humans are self-determining; meaning is your responsibility to actualize.

. No matter the circumstance, you always have the last of the human freedoms: to choose your attitude.

. Tension, striving, and struggling for a worthwhile goal are positive; trying to close the gap between what one is and what one should become.

. Life never ceases to have meaning; even suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning.

In Viktor Frankl reconstructed and revised the book that was destroyed when he was first deported (The Doctor and the Soul), and that same year in only nine days—he wrote Man’s Search for Meaning. He hoped to cure through his writings the personal alienation and cultural malaise that plagued many individuals who felt an ‘inner emptiness’ or a ‘void within themselves.’ Perhaps this flurry of professional activity helped Frankl to restore meaning to his own life.”

First published in German in  as A Psychologist Experiences the Concentration Camp and later called Say Yes to Life in Spite of Everything, subsequent editions were supplemented by an introduction to logotherapy and a postscript on tragic optimism, or how to remain optimistic in the face of pain, guilt, and death. The English translation, first published in , was called Man’s Search for Meaning.” About Viktor Frankl (from the Afterword by William J. Winslade):

Viktor Frankl’s life spanned nearly all of the twentieth century, from his birth in  to his death in . At the age of three he decided to become a physician. In his autobiographical reflections, he recalls that as a youth he would ‘think for some minutes about the meaning of life. Particularly about the meaning of the coming day and its meaning for me.'”

“At age sixteen, Frankl attended an adult-education workshop on philosophy. The instructor, recognizing Frankl’s precocious intellect, invited him to give a lecture on the meaning of life. Frankl told the audience that “It is we ourselves who must answer the questions that life asks of us, and to these questions we can respond only by being responsible for our existence.” This belief became the cornerstone of Frankl’s personal life and professional identity.”

“He joked that in contrast to Freud’s and Adler’s ‘depth psychology,’ which emphasizes delving into an individual’s past and his or her unconscious instincts and desires, he practiced ‘height psychology,’ which focuses on a person’s future and his or her conscious decisions and actions. His approach to psychotherapy stressed the importance of helping people to reach new heights of personal meaning through self-transcendence: the application of positive effort, technique, acceptance of limitations, and wise decisions. His goal was to provoke people into realizing that they could and should exercise their capacity for choice to achieve their own goals. Writing about tragic optimism, he cautioned us that ‘the world is in a bad state, but everything will become still worse unless each of us does his best.'”

Viktor Frankl’s Personal Meaning:

(During camp life) “Let me recall that which was perhaps the deepest experience I had in the concentration camp. The odds of surviving the camp were no more than one in twenty-eight, as can easily be verified by exact statistics. It did not even seem possible, let alone probable, that the manuscript of my first book, which I had hidden in my coat when I arrived at Auschwitz, would ever be rescued. Thus, I had to undergo and to overcome the loss of my mental child. And now it seemed as if nothing and no one would survive me; neither a physical nor a mental child of my own! So I found myself confronted with the question whether under such circumstances my life was ultimately void of any meaning.”

“Frankl was once asked to express in one sentence the meaning of his own life. He wrote the response on paper and asked his students to guess what he had written. After some moments of quiet reflection, a student surprised Frankl by saying, ‘The meaning of your life is to help others find the meaning of theirs.’ ‘That was it, exactly,’ Frankl said. ‘Those are the very words I had written.'” — William J. Winslade

Short Book Summary of Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

The Foreward (written by Harold S. Kushner) and Afterword (written by William J. Winslade) provide great summaries of the book.

“Frankl offers readers who are searching for answers to life’s dilemmas a critical mandate: he does not tell people what to do, but why they must do it.” — William J. Winslade (Afterword)

“It is important to note that Frankl’s imprisonment was not the only impetus for Man’s Search for Meaning. Before his deportation, he had already begun to formulate an argument that the quest for meaning is the key to mental health and human flourishing. As a prisoner, he was suddenly forced to assess whether his own life still had any meaning. His survival was a combined result of his will to live, his instinct for self-preservation, some generous acts of human decency, and shrewdness; of course, it also depended on blind luck, such as where he happened to be imprisoned, the whims of the guards, and arbitrary decisions about where to line up and who to trust or believe. However, something more was needed to overcome the deprivations and degradations of the camps. Frankl drew constantly upon uniquely human capacities such as inborn optimism, humor, psychological detachment, brief moments of solitude, inner freedom, and a steely resolve not to give up or commit suicide. He realized that he must try to live for the future, and he drew strength from loving thoughts of his wife and his deep desire to finish his book on logotherapy. He also found meaning in glimpses of beauty in nature and art. Most important, he realized that, no matter what happened, he retained the freedom to choose how to respond to his suffering. He saw this not merely as an option but as his and every person’s responsibility to choose ‘the way in which he bears his burden.’” — William J. Winslade (Afterword)

“Several times in the course of the book, Frankl approvingly quotes the words of Nietzsche: ‘He who has a Why to live for can bear almost any How.’ He describes poignantly those prisoners who gave up on life, who had lost all hope for a future and were inevitably the first to die. They died less from lack of food or medicine than from lack of hope, lack of something to live for. By contrast, Frankl kept himself alive and kept hope alive by summoning up thoughts of his wife and the prospect of seeing her again, and by dreaming at one point of lecturing after the war about the psychological lessons to be learned from the Auschwitz experience.” — Harold Kushner (Foreward)

Who are you when everything is taken away?

“The majority of prisoners suffered from a kind of inferiority complex. We all had once been or had fancied ourselves to be ‘somebody.’ Now we were treated like complete nonentities. (The consciousness of one’s inner value is anchored in higher, more spiritual things, and cannot be shaken by camp life. But how many free men, let alone prisoners, possess it?) Without consciously thinking about it, the average prisoner felt himself utterly degraded.” — Viktor Frankl

In the concentration camps, a human being was reduced to a number. Viktor Frankl was number ,. Upon arrival at his first camp, he estimates that about % of his transport was killed in the first few hours.

Yet, he was still able to find meaning.

In the book, Frankl mentions a couple statistical surveys of college students:

In one survey of , students at  colleges conducted by Johns Hopkins University,  percent said their first goal was “finding a purpose and meaning to my life.”

Another survey showed that  percent of Frankl’s American students showed a marked degree of existential vacuum (feeling of total and ultimate meaninglessness, inner emptiness, a void within themselves).

So, everyone wants meaning/purpose, yet few have found it:

“These are the dry facts, and they may well be the reason why reporters of American newspapers and particularly of American TV stations more often than not start their interviews, after listing these facts, by exclaiming: ‘Dr. Frankl, your book has become a true bestseller—how do you feel about such a success?’ Whereupon I react by reporting that in the first place I do not at all see in the bestseller status of my book an achievement and accomplishment on my part but rather an expression of the misery of our time: if hundreds of thousands of people reach out for a book whose very title promises to deal with the question of a meaning to life, it must be a question that burns under their fingernails.”

Why?

“As to the causation of the feeling of meaninglessness, one may say, albeit in an oversimplifying vein, that people have enough to live by but nothing to live for; they have the means but no meaning.”

We all have an individual responsibility today:

“That is the glorious responsibility of such a time, that we know how many difficulties we have to bear, and yet at the same time how many opportunities we hold in our hands! ‘He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how,’ Nietzsche once said. The consciousness of our unprecedented responsibility, which encompasses the future of one’s own life, or that of a family, of a work, of a larger society, or of a people, a state even, of humanity, this true ‘historical’ consciousness of responsibility will allow the man of today to bear the ‘how’ of his difficult life circumstances, to shape them, to surmount them. In our struggle full of duties and responsibility.”

 

Time

Time is the same.×× =, seconds x = ,, seconds is the same for all of us,  Einstein, Edison to every achiver today has had the same time to work with yet, accomplished so much.

We can find all the time in the world if we...

Accepted that we are a lot more distracted and so distressed this day than any time before, we need to admit we fall into traps, we set for ourselves.

Let's examine a few:-

Analysis Paralysis - most of us operate in a zone of diminishing returns...if % effort gets us % accurately most times, we may need to work % of our time to get % accuracy, we tend to stop instead of going for that last % and this too after pursuing a % that always eludes us...we sit and analyse what went wrong instead of relooking at our process.

We get stuck in activity trap - doing this, that and something else after that to tick of our to-do list. Activities keeps us busy, else occupied or engaged, but, it doesn't create any impact.

We "churn the ocean," to arrive as the same conclusion. That's because we work with the same knowledge we started with. We work one day and repeat the same thing everyday of the month and the year. We claim that as experience but I'd say it is x or x days. Attending training, upgrading ourselves, reading relevant material all expand our knowledge and horizon. We can make reasonably more assumptions, try more approximations in several situations.

We do what the others have to do. We don't need tk carry others' monkeys on our backs. We need to make the others accountable for what they're supposed to do.

We need to understand the core of issues/challenges/problems quickly through uncluttered thinking.

STRATEGY VS TACTIC

 

Most Stanford students fail this challenge. Here's what we can learn from their mistakes.

You are a student in a Stanford class on entrepreneurship.

Your professor walks into the room, breaks the class into different teams, and gives each team five dollars in funding. Your goal is to make as much money as possible within two hours and then give a three-minute presentation to the class about what you achieved.

If you are a student in the class, what would you do?

Typical answers range from using the five dollars to buy start-up materials for a makeshift car wash or lemonade stand, to buying a lottery ticket or putting the five dollars on red at the roulette table. But the teams that follow these typical paths tend to bring up the rear in the class.

The teams that make the most money don’t use the five dollars at all. They realize the five dollars is a distracting, and essentially worthless, resource.  So they ignore it. Instead, they go back to first principles and start from scratch. They reframe the problem more broadly as “What can we do to make money if we start with absolutely nothing?” One particularly successful team ended up making reservations at popular local restaurants and then selling the reservation times to those who wanted to skip the wait. These students generated an impressive few hundred dollars in just two hours.

But the team that made the most money approached the problem differently. They realized that both the $ funding and the -hour period weren’t the most valuable assets at their disposal. Rather, the most valuable resource was the three-minute presentation time they had in front of a captivated Stanford class. They sold their three-minute slot to a company interested in recruiting Stanford students and walked away with $.

The five-dollar challenge illustrates the difference between tactics and strategy. Although the terms are often used interchangeably, they refer to different concepts. A strategy is a plan for achieving an objective. Tactics, in contrast, are the actions you undertake to implement the strategy.

The Stanford students who bombed the $ challenge fixated on a tactic—how to use the five dollars—and lost sight of the strategy. If we focus too closely on the tactic, we become dependent on it. “Tactics without strategy,” as Sun Tzu wrote in the Art of War, “are the noise before defeat.”

Just because a $ bill is sitting in front of you doesn’t mean it’s the right tool for the job. Tools, as Neil Gaiman reminds us, “can be the subtlest of traps.” When we’re blinded by tools, we stop seeing other possibilities in the peripheries. It’s only when you zoom out and determine the broader strategy that you can walk away from a flawed tactic.

What is the $ tactic in your own life? How can you ignore it and find the -hour window? Or even better, how do you find the most valuable three minutes in your arsenal?

Once you move from the “what” to the “why”—once you frame the problem broadly in terms of what you’re trying to do instead of your favored solution—you’ll discover other possibilities lurking in plain sight.

From the Roots to Fruits...       

You need a lot many Hands + Emotional Intelligence + Behavioural Intelligence + Conversational Intelligence to reach all your goals.

The Noble - Nobel Story

It’s easy to get carried away by the work we do, but, who knows it might build a negative story, about you and you aren't aware about it. But, belive me you can build a positive one for sure? 

Assumptions drive a ridiculous amount of human behavior.  Meanwhile, the “Fundamental Attribution Error” shows that we are inclined to attribute people’s behavior to their character, without giving enough credence to context.

The "Nobel Story," is one touches a human heart being a real one.  It makes us see where people’s behavior is rooted in a combination of their core values and unique circumstances. It lets us release the negative story and replace it with a more holistic and positive one. 

The "Nobel Story."

Alfred Nobel had the unpleasant surprise of reading his own obituary published which was titled, "The merchant of death  is dead."  It was Alfred's brother Ludwig who acutally died in ,  French newspaper mistakenly published Alfred's obituary.  Reading his own obituary Nobel was disgusted to find out his  public image.

Early story..

Alfred Nobel, invented one of the first Dynamite in the early 's for commercial use in mining. However, when he witnessed people misused his creation with the intention to foolishly kill, he regretted his greatest invention. ...

Moved severely by guilt, he used his enormous fortune from  patents to institute the Nobel Prizes  started the Nobel Peace Prize.

The award achieved a status that's unparalleled even to this day, for it's recognition which recipients carry with pride. First instituted in , as of  the Nobel Prize has been awarded to  individuals and  organizations. Seventeen women have won the Nobel Peace Prize and  among the recipients, there are  Indians (five Indian citizens and eight of Indian ancestry or residency).

May the creator of the virus that caused the pandemic COVID, be inspired and do something to recreate a world that'll be free of misery.

Have a Thoughtful Thursday.

Suggested easy practices to track on your habit calendar

Physical Health

.  minutes of movement

.  servings of fruits and veggies

. , steps

.  push-ups (or your exercise of choice)

. Pack gym clothes for tomorrow

. Drink  glasses of water (you can write the number of glasses you drank in the square instead of a checkmark)

. Pack your lunch

. Screen-free meals

. Go for a walk

. Stretch

. Explore one new hiking trail per month

. Walk to destinations under a mile away

. Weekly meal prep

. Floss

. Take medications

. Eat a mindful meal

. Monthly breast exam

. Moisturize

Mental Health

. Journal one sentence

. Acknowledge how you’re feeling

. Play with your pet

. Rate stress level on a - scale

Spiritual Health

. Read  page of a spiritual text 

. Pray or meditate

. Write in a gratitude journal

. Tell someone you love them

. Take a deep breath

. Spend  minutes outside

. Volunteer weekly

. Repeat a mantra or affirmation

. Remember that we are all connected

Social Health (relationships / community)

. Spend time with the kids in your life

. Call or text a friend

. Host a friend hangout monthly (craft night, book club, etc.)

. Weekly date night

. Send one thank-you note per week

. Read to kids

. Check in on neighbors/elderly

. Make something (food or otherwise) to share with a neighbor or friend

Technology

. Keep your phone on Do Not Disturb

. Social media-free weekend

. Under  hour of screen time

. No screens after pm

. Less than  minutes of social media per day

. No texting while driving

. Less than an hour of television

Work

. Choose your day’s priority (aka highlight)

. Inbox zero

. Create tomorrow’s to-do list

. Review and prepare for tomorrow’s meetings

. Call  prospects / write  words / fill  orders (or whatever your most important metric of work is)

. One hour of focused work

. Tidy your work space

. Lunch or coffee with coworkers

. Choose your week’s priority

. Create monthly goals

. Meet with your mentor monthly

. Share daily or weekly goals with an accountability partner

Finance

. Day of no spending

. Pay in cash for purchases under $ (this has been proven to decrease spending!)

. Save % of paycheck

. Put money into retirement monthly

. Label all business/work expenses monthly (saves you time during tax season!)

Home 

. Work in your garden

. No plastic bags

. Set up coffee maker for tomorrow

. Clean your home weekly

. Choose tomorrow’s outfit

. Wash dishes

. Put clothes and shoes away

. Clean bag every week

. Laundry

. Make your bed

. Water plants

. Sort mail

. Tidy house

. Turn the compost pile

. Do a deep clean of all countertops/surfaces 

. Declutter and reorganize your closet

. Clean up and reset hubs for pets (clean food bowls, wipe down litter box, etc.)

. File away the week’s papers

. Reorganize your pantry & toss anything expired

. Establish “ in/ out” zone – set aside a place to discard/donate  item in your house for every new item that comes in

Sleep

. In bed by pm

. Read before bed

. No coffee after pm

. Complete your “wind-down” routine nightly

. No phone/screen time in bed

. Reset kitchen and workspace before bed

Creativity

. Practice your hobby (piano, coloring, puzzles, collage-- whatever!)

. Watch a TED talk

. Work on a crossword puzzle

. Watch a new movie

. Listen to a new album

. Take a photo 

. Explore a new place monthly

. Draw your daily diary

. Cook a new-to-you recipe

. Make a monthly moodboard of inspiration

. Practice learning a new language

 

A billionaire will not teach you all the tricks to become one, but, a poor man can teach you everything that you should do to become like him.

A lesson which give us this formula

IQ + EQ + AQ + AQ = HQ

Intelligence Quotient + Emotional Quotient + Adaptability Quotient + Adversity Quotient = Happiness Quotient

IQ -> Intelligence Quotient:-

. The intellect gathers knowledge enabling a professional and personal life possible.

We adjust our intelligence according to situations and people. We have different quotients for different people.

We wouldn't be able to live just with intellect - mind, hence to balance that we need emotions - the heart.

. EQ -> Emotional Quotient:-

Expression of feelings - anger, sadness, disgust etc., tells others what we are in a given moment. Hence emotions are critical.

We all have the same emotions, the variable is the degree to which each of us show emotions. This again depends on situations, people, time and place and varies in degrees, for all people.

We strike a balance with people, that becomes the emotional quotient.

At times emotions just don't match. We hit discordant notes and go on tangents too. Therefore living just with either - mind or the heart doesn't help living.

. AQ -> Adversity Quotient

We need both (IQ and EQ) to handle adverse conditions. The intellect helps in identifying obstacles and to strategize overcoming them. Emotions help build resilience so we begin to adapt to situations, conditions and events.

This then is the Adversity Quotient, which varies with people. Some like Phoneix rise from the ashes, others perish under the weight of trying and challenging conditions.

In effect we learn to adapt to new environments, conditions, situations. It is a determined effort to go ahead despite odds. It is to leave our comfort zone and venture out. It makes us future ready because of the growth mindset we develop.

We become a lot more self-aware and confident. We run a race with ourselves and not with anyone else outside. Being upset doesn't help. We need to be steady, calm and composed, like a duck - no exaggerated movement on the outside but a terrific stir below the surface of the water.

This is AQ -> Adaptability Quotient.

All these add up to make us feel good. For some this is Happiness. For other it could be this + something else + something else...

Happiness has many definitions and dimensions.

Peace of mind stands high on that list.

Remember

IQ + EQ + AQ + AQ = HQ

Above all this is SQ - Spirituality Quotient - without which there is neither peace nor contentment.

Please read this and let me have your views.

Paradoxes and Emotional Intelligence

We year to connect with people, yet, isolate ourselves.

We seek to love, yet, fear betrayal.

We seek adventure, yet, fear a loss.

We dream of some day, yet, we forget today instead.

We want others to change, yet, we will not want to change.

We overstock, yet, complain there's no place to store.

We want innovation, yet, we won't create.

We love the ocean, yet, buy plastic.

We advocate for education, yet, deprive our daughters be as educated as our son's.

We want health, yet, abuse it with junk food, less sleep and no exercise.

We believe in equality, yet, we will not yield even one inch of our space so we let inequality prevail.

We arouse our ego to feel superior, yet, will advocate attempting narrowing the gap, without giving up our status even a bit.

We want health, yet, think others owd it to us free.

We ask for better leaders, yet, we don't want to be one.

We ask for a better world, yet, not at our cost of comfort and convenience.

There's a massive disconnect, we blame everyone for it, yet, think we are not to be blamed.

The world is made up of both beauty and brokenness.

Most time we believe our heart is in the right place, only that we've displaced our innocent head with unwanted logic, over-informed garbage and dismantled traditions.

 

The challenges of maintaining ourselves in a world with different ideologies and culture becomes overwhelming as it all seems.

We let ourselves drift, like ostriches that keep shoving their heads in sand to escape the heat.

We seek to change only when it hurts us, forgetting that it is the small moments we need to think of changing in our life time.

Change happens we we see someone who seems upset, and ask how can we support them.

Change happens when we want to show off that we are the go-to people.

Change happens when we pretend we have all the answers and when we think we are empowered to ask uncomfortable questions.

The truth is, if we know the story, behind everyone actions, we would see why they are the way they are, and it doesn't excuse it, because compassion is the birthplace of change.

This is emotional intelligence at its best.

VIBRATE HIGHER

The Spiritually inclined will understand:

For humans with a higher vibration, infection is a minor irritant that is soon eliminated!

The reasons for having low vibration could be:

Fear, Phobia, Suspicion

Anxiety, Stress, Tension.

Jealousy, Anger, Rage

Hate, Greed

Attachment or Pain

And so......we have to understand to vibrate higher, so that the lower frequency does not weaken our immune system.

The frequency of the earth today is .hz. but there are places that vibrate very low like:

Hospitals

Assistance Centers.

Jails

Underground etc.

It is where the vibration drops to hz, or less.

For humans with low vibration, the virus becomes dangerous.

Pain . to hz.

Fear . to .hz.

Irritation . to .hz.

Noise . to .hz.

Pride . hz.

Superiority . hz.

A higher vibration on the other hand is the outcome of the following behaviour :-

Generosity hz

Gratitude  hz

Compassion  hz or more.

The frequency of Love and compassion for all living beings is  Hz and more.

Unconditional and universal love from hz

So...Come on ...

Vibrate Higher!!!

What helps us vibrate high?

Loving, Smiling, Blessing, Thanking, Playing, Painting, Singing, Dancing, Yoga, Tai Chi, Meditating,  Walking in the Sun, Exercising, Enjoying nature, etc.

 Foods that the Earth gives us: seeds-grains-cereals-legumes-fruits and vegetables-

Drinking water: help us vibrate higher ..... !!!

The vibration of prayer alone goes from  to hz

So sing, laugh, love, meditate, play, give thanks and live !

Let's vibrate high ...!!!

This information is  compiled & edited by Naturotherapist Dr.  Harshal Sancheti, Nasik but

the original source of this information is from the book Power Vs Force

Based on David R Hawkins' Doctoral Thesis.

 

A Catalyst...

Ships are meant to sail in the high seas and also face storms that come in it's way.

We all have heard this many times from many, "It has been one of the most difficult  months of my life," and truly yes. Whether it is said or not it is felt by everyone. In this period many have lost their income losing jobs, have lost family members, encountered more losses than gains.

We have learnt everything is a temporary moments, feelings and still believe so despite the long treacherous months.

We have all learned love is about giving everything we have and letting it hurt.

We have heard vulnerability is always the right choice because it's easy to be cold in a world that makes it so difficult to remain soft.

Life isn't fair..

No matter what life throws at us, no matter how unfair it may seem, let's refuse to play a victim, let's refuse to be ruled by fear, pessimism and negativity, let's refuse to quit.

We have learned all things in life come in two's - rain-sunshine, night-day, adventure-fear, pain-pleasure, salt-sugar, we-they. It is the balance of universe. It has been a year+  of hurting so badly, yet living so good making friends out of strangers, has been fun. It is true some have been making strangers out of friends to keep themselves positive. There are several other little things that makes us focus on warm energy always, for if we can't learn to be kinder to each other in torrid  times like these how will we learn to be kinder to the most desperate parts of ourselves.

Let's become warriors and work through life whatever life throws in our path our way, with courage, love, hope and positivity. Let's push forward.

Difficult times will always come to an end and the wisdom and strength, wd gain from all of this will make us stronger and be with us much longer as ours.

We are survivors of the unfairness of life. We are stronger than we think we are and we are capable of achieving far more than we believe we can. Joy is never tomorrow, it is always now.

Praying is talking silently to the Universe through the heart and mind.

 

Meditation is listening intently to the Universe with the mind and heart.

A Catalyst..

No one was spared anywhere - it has been one of the most difficult months of our life.

We were mute witnesses to all the misery around us, yet, we did what best we could to survive and help survive.

We have been taught everything is a temporary - events, happenings, situations, moments, feelings.

We still believe it is true despite the long treacherous months and continuing.

We have seen everything - frontline worker serving unselfishly and tirelessly day and night. Donors pouring in with everything possible to help suffering people survive. We've also seen the dark side of hoarding essentials, selling medicines and oxygen at exorbitant prices resorting to exploitation. The unaffordable poor succumbing, yet, helplessly every one of us were watching a handful of them practising evil. We didn't come out to the streets with candles to pray for those who left us, we didn't squat on the roads in protest against evil, for reasons of social norms. There were people who congregated in large number for religious practices, people attended rallies of speeches to elect the ones who would govern them for the next years. The others witnessed all this again helplessly and silently to bear the brunt of an even more severe hit by the next wave.

We have heard vulnerability is always the right choice because it's easy to be cold in a world that makes it so difficult to remain soft.

Life isn't fair..

No matter what life throws at us, no matter how unfair it may seem, let's refuse to play a victim, let's refuse to be ruled by fear, pessimism and negativity, let's refuse to quit.

 

We have learned all things in life come in two's - rain-sunshine, night-day, adventure-fear, pain-pleasure, salt-sugar, we-they. It is the balance of universe.

It has been a year and more of hurting us badly, yet living so good making friends out of strangers, has been fun.

It is also  true some have been making strangers out of friends to keep themselves positive. There are several other little things that makes us focus on warm energy always, for if we can't learn to be kinder to each other in torrid  times like these how will we learn to be kinder to the most desperate parts of ourselves.

Let's become warriors and work through life whatever life throws in our path our way, with courage, love, hope and positivity. Let's push forward.

Difficult times will always come to an end and the wisdom and strength, wd gain from all of this will make us stronger and be with us much longer as ours.

We are survivors of the unfairness of life. We are stronger than we think we are and we are capable of achieving far more than we believe we can.

Joy is never tomorrow, it is always now.

Take care to protect yourself and the other, stay home, stay safe.

Above all these - please shut yourself up and don't get caught by anything the newspapers or news channels say...who knows what's the truth...who knows who is whipping up this unwanted passion...who knows whose greed is being satisfied by creating a panic in the minds of people so that they are in business...

I end this with the Serenity Prayer...

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Almighty, give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what cannot be helped, and the insight to know the one from the other."

A Tale of Pure Emotions...

On an island - there lived long ago - all the feelings - Happiness, Sadness Knowedge and several others including Love.

One morning it was announced that the island will be sinking, so all feelings fled the island making their boats except Love.

Love stayed back helplessly wanting to stay till the last breath possible.

While the island sunk rapidly  leaving just a small bit, Love decided to seek help.

Love asked Richness, "Can you rescue me?"

Richness answered with overflowing arrogance, "No, I can't, because I have no place as I am overloaded with diamonds, pearls,gold and silver. With this I can find Love everywhere in the world the way I want."

Vanity was leaving in a beautiful boat and Love asked for help.

 

Vanity was quick to respond, "Sorry Love, you are wet completely and if I allow you my boat will get spoilt, so I can't."

Sadness was close to Love so Love asked Sadness, "Please let me go with you.."

Sadness replied, "Oh Love! Am so sad, I want time by myself."

Happiness was so happy that it couldn't hear the call for rescue, so happiness also went by.

Suddenly an elderly voice came, " Come Love, I'll take you."

Love was thrilled hearing this Blessed voice and they went.

When the two arrived at a safe space on the dry land the elder went it's own way. Realizing how much gratitude Love owed to the elderly rescuer Love asked Knowledge another elderly, "Who helped me?"

"It was Time," Knowledge answered.

"Time!?" asked Love with a wonder, "but why?"

Knowledge showing a lot of humility and deep wisdom answered, "Because only Time has the capability of understanding how valuable Love is."

So am here to learn more about emotion, being with emotions and sharing my emotions so that we all become Emotionally Intelligent and make the world around us the same.

This is for you, me and all of us...there's nothing wrong..

We need to learn to do somethings continuously and well too.

We need to stop..

- Complaining

- Comparing ourselves with

  others.

- Judging

- Over-estimating and/or

  Under-estimating ourselves  and others.

We need to know our  capacity so we work to the best of our ability and capability.

We should have ambitions  and but we keep focus on both our short and long terms goals.

We need to keep building on our skills regularly to be  skillful, competitive and relevant always.

There'll be times which we will say

"I can.... I can't,"

or

feel we succeeded....we failed...,

or were wrong.... were right

or

experience a pleasure or a pain.

 

Come what may let's keep our ambition and remember to enjoy our long distance drive in life and let time take the wheel and believe we'll all get there on time.

This or That

We have the choices.

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. We have a tendency to try pleasing everyone. We don't want to upset anyone. We don't want to rffle feathers.

We need to end this....Because, we don't like everybody, do we?

Then why do we want to like everyone?

Else..

Love all.

or

Respect everyone for whoever they are.

But...remember

Trust just a few....

(People are over the world have a tendency to exaggerate, hype and or sensationalize events or things. We don't have to believe all of them).

Everything that happens is real, (The pandemic, people suffering, shortage of hospital beds, of oxygen cylinders, of medicines, etc. Media shows it up and newspapers write about it, for us to see).

But..

Not everything is true.

Not everyone is speaking the truth.

No one ever grew wise by chance. It was by learnt through experience.

Let's take no chances with our life. Let's maintain prescribed protocols. Let's not be driven by the crazy outside world, let's drive ourselves from within.

We all are Ambitious...

We all are filled with Self-Pride...

We all have a bloated Ego..

We all have Self-Esteem high for some, low for some.

This is true for you, me and all of us...there's nothing wrong..

We need to learn to do somethings continously and well too.

 

We need to be grateful that we have an opportunity to live a life worthy of emulating by being and example.

We need to realize our purpose of being and play our part.

We need to stop..

- Complaining

- Comparing ourselves with

  others.

- Judging

- Over-estimating and/or

  Under-estimating ourselves

  and others.

We need to know our  capacity so we work to the best of our ability and capability.

We should have ambitions  and but we keep focus on both our short and long terms goals.

We need to keep building on our skills regularly to be  skillful, competitive and relevant always.

There'll be times which we will say

"I can.... I can't,"

or

feel we succeeded....we failed...,

or were wrong.... were right

or

experience a pleasure or a pain.

Come what may let's keep our ambition and remember to enjoy our long distance drive in life and let time take the wheel and believe we'll all get there on time.

. Acknowledge and embrace imperfections. Hiding from your weaknesses means you’ll never overcome them.

. View challenges as opportunities. Having a growth mindset means relishing opportunities for self-improvement. Learn more about how to fail well.

. Try different learning tactics. There’s no one-size-fits-all model for learning. What works for one person may not work for you. Learn about learning strategies.

. Follow the research on brain plasticity. The brain isn’t fixed; the mind shouldn’t be either.

. Replace the word “failing” with the word “learning.”

. Stop seeking approval.

. Value the process over the end result.

. Cultivate a sense of purpose.

. Celebrate growth with others.

. Emphasise growth over speed.

. Reward actions, not traits.

. Redefine “genius.”

. Portray criticism as positive.

. Disassociate improvement from failure.

. Provide regular opportunities for reflection.

. Place effort before talent.

. Highlight the relationship between learning and “brain training.”

. Cultivate grit.

. Abandon the image.

. Use the word “yet.”

. Learn from yours and other people’s mistakes.

. Make a new goal for every goal accomplished.

. Take risks in the company of others.

. Think realistically about time and effort.

. Take ownership over your attitude.

 

Are we judgemental?

A young man joined a monastery wanting to learn and to become something worthwhile in life.

On the day he was inducted he was shown to his room, the facilities and all of that and told - you are allowed only two words in five years.

The first five passed the young man was asked to speak his two words.

"Hopeless Bed."

Then on completion of another five years was asked to say two words.

"Poor Food."

It was fifteen years and time for his two words.

"Wasted Time."

The chief then said, "In the last fifteen years all that you were breeding on is negativity and complaining.

The lessons drawn out of this is how seniors, leaders and higher up's become defensive when the employee begins to narrate his/her real experience.

 

Taking this story - fifteen years - six words, negative comments difficult to digest. Just imagine during our years at work meeting and talking to people how many things we will get to hear off.

The key is we all need to work together listening to the said and unsaid words and without getting defensive we need to create a great employee experience to call it a GPTW - Great Place To Work, where the systems and process are in place to serve as a "compass" and the way we look after our employees should be "True North."

Mental Toughness.

Having unshakable confidence in your ability to achieve our goals.

Knowing that we possess unique qualities and abilities that make us better than our peers.

Having an insatiable desire to succeed.

Being resilient and able to quickly recover from adversity, disappointment, set-backs, etc.

Thriving on the pressure of high-stakes events.

Accepting that fear and anxiety are inevitable and knowing that we can overcome both.

Able to remain fully focused on the mission.

Remaining fully focused on the task at hand in the face of life-threatening situations.

Being able to cope with high levels of physical and emotional pain, while still maintaining the ability to execute skills and tasks required to accomplish the mission.

Quickly regaining psychological control following unexpected, uncontrollable events.

 

Where do you stop?

A young lady with baggage in her hand and a baby in a pram was making her way to the parking lot where she had her car parked saw an An elderly man was waving his hand for help.

She stopped.

The elderly man came close to her and showed her his phone asking her to open his phone to show him the picture of his first grandchild born in a far off city to which he can't travel now because of the travel ban.

The young lady tried her best but couldn't open the picture as there wasn't a supporting software on the mobile being an older generation mobile.

She suggested to the elderly man two things :

. She could try forwarding the picture to her phone from his to see if it opens, else..

. He could ask his daughter to call her number and have a video call.

The elderly man said she should do both.

She could open the picture sent to her phone which she showed to the elderly man - a rosy pink chubby baby with thick curly hairs busily sucking the first three fingers.

 

The beauty was irresistible. The elderly man looked at the oicture as his eyes swelled with tears of joy. He just had no mood to stio seeing it.

The young lady asked the elderly man to spare her phone. She walked into a photo studio in the adjacent building - got a print of the baby's picture framed and handed it over to the elderly man, who was thrilled seeing that.

In the meanwhile she called the elderly man's daughter on her phone via a video call and got her to speak to her father. It was a double bonus all in less than a hour.

The young lady did everything she could to make the elderly man happy.

If you've decide to do good there's no end point.

Now I have a question on the Empathy the lady showed to the elderly man. If you were in her place where would you have stopped showing empathy to tge elderly man.

 

The Four Horsemen Apocalypse

The four horsemen of the apocalypse are four biblical figures who appear in the Book of Revelation. They are revealed by the unsealing of the first four of the seven seals. Each of the horsemen represents a different facet of the apocalypse: conquest, war, famine, and death.

The White Horse

I watched as the Lamb opened the first of the seven seals. Then I heard one of the four living creatures say in a voice like thunder, "Come and see!" I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its rider held a bow, and he was given a crown, and he rode out as a conqueror bent on conquest. (Revelation :-)

The Red Horse

When the Lamb opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, "Come and see!" Then another horse came out, a fiery red one. Its rider was given power to take peace from the earth and to make men slay each other. To him was given a large sword. (Revelation :-)

The Black Horse

When the Lamb opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, "Come and see!" I looked, and there before me was a black horse! Its rider was holding a pair of scales in his hand. Then I heard what sounded like a voice among the four living creatures, saying, "A quart of wheat for a day's wages, and three quarts of barley for a day's wages, and do not damage the oil and the wine!" (Revelation :-)

The Pale Horse

When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come and see!" I looked and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hades was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine, and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth. (Revelation :-)

We use this metaphor to describe communication styles that according to research can predict end of relationships. Bringing the Four Horsemen in our Conflict Resolution discussions is the necessary first step to eliminating them, yet, this knowledge isn't enough. To eliminate conflict patterns, we must replace them with healthy productive ones.

 

Keep it Simple yet Significant!

If it is not simple, majority will not get it.

If it is not significant, majority won’t read it!

How about looking at life this way?

Life is not complicated, we make it seem complicated, we have forgotten simplicity and adopted complexity.

I bet, we all want a life that is uncomplicated and simple, isn't it.

So how do we do that?

Let's get clarity on what is most vital for us in life and eliminate the rest.

This suggestion may not help unless we get to know how… so here we go.

 

It's OK  to - Let go.

It is okay to not to feel okay. It is okay to feel exhausted, It is okay to feel angry.

It is okay to cry.

It is okay to feel lonely.

It is okay to feel no one understands us.

It is okay to feel stuck.

It is okay to feel disabled.

It is sometimes to feel that we are failing, struggling to cope up with the pace of things, the pressures of life etc., we learn and then move on.

 

Stop berating Ourselves

– The truth is every high and low moments in life have led us to the moment we are now in right now.

Let's believe in the ‘Power of Now.’

No complaints

- If we are not helping to make things right, then let's stop complaining about it being wrong

Let's not cheat ourselves by claiming to be busy, let's try becoming productive with least time invested.

Time is the only main thing

- Let's spend time with right people. Let's not waste time on unwanted non-value adding activities like information, apps/platforms, social media etc.

 

Just a few things but actually very little is needed to make a happy life

The Habits of Highly Effective People was a hit on introduction and continues to be a hit even now.

The good news is that there is a definite link between the Habits and Emotional Intelligence.

The first three habits are all about self-awareness and self-regulation.

The fourth and fifth habits are about empathy.

The sixth is about social skills.

The seventh habit comes back full circle to self-awareness.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life," says Melodie Beattie and continues..

"It can turn

what we have into enough, and more....

denial into acceptance...

chaos to order...

confusion to clarity....

a meal into a feast...

a house into a home..

a stranger into a friend."

And I would add this thought too - that without gratitude, we can turn any paradise into hell.

Without gratitude:

we will always walk away from the table still starving - no matter what measure of abundance has been laid before us.

Without gratitude,

every job is the worst one the planet

every spouse is deficient

every friend lets us down

every home is on the wrong street

every gift is the wrong size

every novel is full of typos, every mattress is uncomfortable

every cup of coffee is too weak.

Without gratitude..

every choice we ever made will always feel like the wrong choice.

 

Without gratitude..

summers will always be too hot, winters will always be too cold...

The music will always be too loud...

the movie will always suck...

the teenagers will always be too rude....

Without gratitude..

people who vote or worship differently from we will always be monsters in our eyes....

Without gratitude..

we will always feel we were born into the wrong family.

Without gratitude..

the waitress will always be too slow and we will always get the worst seat on the bus.

Without gratitude, every driver on the road except you is an idiot...

Without gratitude, life is a misery.

The alchemy of all alchemies - is gratitude.

Even if we learn nothing else, we must learn how to say THANK YOU and Stay blessed forever

Ever heard about Quartet of Quotients?

The Quartet of Quotients deals with

Intelligence Quotient, Emotional Quotient, Adaptability Quotient and Adversity Quotient.

This realm is such that  sheer knowledge helps us strengthen the brain and application which makes life easy. Be it personal or professional.

We all would have been able to live well simply by garnering our intellect and we know the importance of Intelligence Quotient.

But what use is intellect sans emotions? and hence Emotional Quotient is critical.

Adversity Quotient also called the Science of Resilience is about our ability to manage adversities in life.

It works on the LEAD model.

Looking for signs of obstacles

Exploring options and or people to help you tide over

Analysing the best way out

Doing it

and

th one, Adaptability Quotient.

 

Adaptation to issues around us is nothing but evolving differently.

Adaptation isn't masking.

It's only being more ready for a situation.

Lastly, all these Quotients mean nothing if we aren't able to thrive on happiness from within and striving towards the sole goal.

And hence Happiness Quotient is the most critical one.

Be happy in the state you are and what you are.

Comparisons do not help and nor will being grumpy of the life one has.

Which quotient are you working on currently?

Cognitive Biases, Heuristics, and Logical Fallacies.

These are components of our mind, like organs in our body, which under the

best conditions serve us well. Life, unfortunately, isn’t always lived under the best conditions. Their predictability and dependability have kept confident men, magicians,

advertisers, psychics, and peddlers of all manner of pseudoscientific remedies in business for centuries. It wasn’t until psychology applied rigorous scientific method to human behavior that these self-deceptions became categorized and quantified.

Cognitive biases are predicable patterns of thought and behavior that lead us to draw incorrect conclusions.

We and everyone else come into the world preloaded with these pesky and completely wrong ways of seeing things, and we rarely notice them.

Many of them serve to keep us confident in our own perceptions or to inhibit you from seeing ourselves as a buffoon.

The maintenance of a positive self-image seems to be so important to the human mind we have evolved mental mechanisms designed to make us feel awesome about yourself.

Cognitive biases lead to poor choices, bad judgments and wacky insights that are often totally incorrect. For example, we tend to look for information that confirms our beliefs and ignore information that challenges them. This is called confirmation bias. The contents of our bookshelf and the bookmarks in our Web browser are a direct result of it.

Heuristics are mental shortcuts we use to

solve common problems. They speed up processing in the brain, but sometimes make us think so fast we miss what is important.

Instead of taking the long way around and deeply contemplating the best course of action or the most logical train of thought, we

use heuristics to arrive at a conclusion in record time. Some heuristics are learned, and others come free with every copy of the human brain. When they work, they help our mind stay frugal. When they don’t, we see

the world as a much simpler place than it really is. For example, if we notice a rise in reports about shark attacks on the news, we

start to believe sharks are out of control, when the only thing you know for sure is the news is delivering more stories about sharks than usual.

Logical fallacies are like math problems involving language, in which we skip a step or get turned around without realizing it. They

are arguments in our mind where we reach a conclusion without all the facts because we don’t care to hear them or have no idea how limited our information is. We become a bumbling detective. Logical fallacies can also be the result of wishful thinking. Sometimes we apply good logic to false premises; at other times we apply bad logic to the

truth. For instance, if we hear Albert Einstein refused to eat scrambled eggs, we

might assume scrambled eggs are probably bad for us. This is called the argument from authority. We assume if someone is super-smart, then all of that person’s decisions must be good ones, but maybe Einstein just had peculiar taste.

With each of us getting to know this in a new angle we

will start to see ourselves in a new way. We will soon realize we are not so smart, and thanks to a plethora of cognitive biases, faulty heuristics, and common fallacies of thought, we are probably deluding ourselves minute by minute just to cope with reality. Don’t fret. This will be fun.

Willingness to listen

Viktor Frankl, one of the great psychiatrists of the twentieth century, survived the death camps of Nazi Germany.

His little book, Man’s Search for Meaning, is one of those life-changing books that everyone should read.

Frankl once told the story of a woman who called him in the middle of the night to calmly inform him she was about to commit suicide.

Frankl kept her on the phone and talked her through her depression, giving her reason after reason to carry on living. Finally she promised she would not take her life, and she kept her word.

When they later met, Frankl asked which reason had persuaded her to live? 

"None of them, she told him.

What then influenced her to go on living, he pressed? 

Her answer was simple, it was "Frankl’s willingness to listen to her in the middle of the night". 'A world in which there was someone ready to listen to another's pain seemed to her a world in which it was worthwhile to live'.

Often, it is not the brilliant argument that makes the difference. Sometimes the small act of listening is the greatest gift we can give.

We are not on Earth to see how important we can become. We are on Earth to see how much difference we can make to the life of others.

Everyone in the family tested positive. Convalescing and recovering slowly and steadily praying to the Almighty.

 

An Empty Boat

A monk decides to meditate alone, away from his monastery.

He takes his boat out to the middle of the lake, moors it there, closes his eyes and begins his meditation.

After a few hours of undisturbed silence, he suddenly feels the bump of another boat colliding with his own. With his eyes still closed, he senses his anger rising, and by the time he opens his eyes, he is ready to scream at the boatman who dared disturb his meditation.

But when he opens his eyes, he sees it’s an empty boat that had probably got untethered and floated to the middle of the lake.

At that moment, the monk achieves self-realization, and understands that the anger is within him; it merely needs the bump of an external object to provoke it out of him.

From then on, whenever he comes across someone who irritates him or provokes him to anger, he reminds himself, “The other person is merely an empty boat. The anger is within me.”

Take time for introspection & search for answer:

Empty boat is a famous & fabulous metaphor. Its value lies in its implementation.

The sound of the bell is said to disengage mind from ongoing thoughts thus making the mind more receptive. Bell ringing during prayer is said to help in controlling the ever wandering mind and focusing on the deity.

Bells or ghanta made up of metals and different alloys are created to make sounds of different frequencies..

Different frequencies have different effects on human mind and body and even to the surrounding of it ..

Due to day day task our balanced frequencies of body get imbalanced and due to which we get away from our true spiritual nature..

The ringing of bells creates that balanced frequencies and make our body to attain the stability needed to attain to gaze into self..

Hence ringing of this metallic bells or bowls also helps in keeping our body healthy..

WHAT MAKES A LEADER?

GOLEMAN - IDEA IN PRACTICE - UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE COMPONENTS.

THE  COMPONENTS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AT WORK

LEAD

Why Emotionally Intelligent People Embrace the BYAF Rule

 Especially when they need a favor.

BY JEFF HADEN, CONTRIBUTING EDITOR, INC.@JEFFHADEN

You need help.

You need a little cooperation.

You need a favor.

So you stiffen your spine, sum up your courage, and ask.

And get turned down.

Even though you stressed the importance of the request.

Even though you described the difference the other person could make for you.

Even though you showed, verbally and nonverbally, the critical importance of your request. 

Shoot: You basically begged. 

Which, according to a  review of more than  studies published in Communication Studies, is where you went wrong.

How BYAF works?

If you're like most people, you don't like to feel put on the spot. 

When that happens, you naturally get defensive.

Your walls go up.

The more you feel like you can't say no? 

The less you focus on evaluating the actual request, and the more you focus on figuring out some way to say no.

The "but you are free" (BYAF) rule avoids that problem by instantly giving the other person an out.

All you have to do, the researchers write, is "weaken the target's perception that her or his freedom to say no is being threatened."

Or in non-researcher-speak, always give the other person an explicit out by including some version of "but you are free to say no":

"We're looking for  volunteers, but you are free to say no."

"Could you give me a hand? I know you're busy, so please don't feel like you have to."

"I completely understand if you don't have time, but could you ... ?"

According to the researchers, simply include a statement that lessens the possibility the other person feels like they don't have a choice and that person is more than twice as likely to say yes to your request.

How to apply the BYAF rule?

First, recognize that your wants or needs are important.

But only to you. (As plenty of coffee mugs say, "Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency for me.")

The severity of your problems and challenges -- or, on the flip side, the extent of your goals and dreams -- does not mean other people should be feel more obligated or willing to help you. 

 

Because everyone has problems. And everyone has dreams.

Be emotionally intelligent enough to realize that.

Then be emotionally intelligent enough to realize that other people are more likely to offer help when they feel personally compelled rather than obligated.

We all like to feel generous. We all like to feel helpful. We all like to feel we make a difference.

Especially when it feels like we decided to step in, step up, and lend a helping hand.

By giving the other person an out by including a sincere version of "but you are free," you let the other person decide.

The more you make it easier for the person to say no, the more likely they will be to say yes -- and, more important, the better they will feel about saying yes.

Because we all like to feel our time and effort has made a difference.

Which makes the BYAF rule a definite win-win.

COPYRIGHT  MANSUETO VENTURES

Die empty

The most beautiful book to read is "Die Empty" by Todd Henry.

The author was inspired and got this idea of writing ​​this book while attending a business meeting.

When the director asked the audience: "Where is the richest land in the world?"

One of the audience answered: "Oil-rich Gulf states."

Another added: "Diamond mines in Africa."

Then the director said: "No it is the cemetery. Yes, it is the richest land in the world, because millions of people have departed/died and they carried many valuable ideas that did not come to light nor benefit others. It is all in the cemetery where they are buried."

Inspired by this answer, Todd Henry wrote his book, "Die empty .

The most beautiful of what he said in his book is: "Do not go to your grave and carry inside you the best that you have. Always choose to die empty.

The TRUE meaning of this  expression, is to die empty of all the goodness that is within you. Deliver it to the world, before you leave.

If you have an idea perform it.

If you have knowledge give it out.

If you have a goal achieve it.

Love, share and distribute, do not keep it inside.

Let’s begin to give. Remove and spread every atom of goodness inside us.

Start the race.

 

Let us Die Empty.

Go to the Woods

When we go into the woods - we find different trees and all kinds of them too with their shapes different from the other - no two trees are alike. Some are straight, some bent, some with big branches and green some thin and whatever. Some big ones bear fruits and smaller ones bear flowers. We look at them and allow it.

You do that.

Do you know why?

You will make assumptions that tree grows in height and size depending on water availabilty from the bottom and or sunlight from tge sides or tops. We don't get emotional about it. We just allow it be that way.

The minute we get to humans we lost all the sense we got from the woods - we immediately start saying, "You are too this, you are tok that.I am this...I am not that, I am too this.." The judgement mind comes in.

And so to keep me away from judging people I turn to the woods ehere people are for me like trees - that they are and the way they are... Automatically appreciation arrives and fills me with up with freshness in thiughts and abundantly too.

PAUSE and RESET

 ways to stay calm when facing negative emotions.

PAUSE ->

P ATIENTLY

A CCEPT

U NDERCURRENTS OF

S TRESSFUL

E MOTIONS

RESET->

R ESPOND

E MPHATETICALLY and

S ENSITIVELY to

E MOTIONS and

T HOUGHTS

 

The next time you experience negative emotions, press the PAUSE and RESET buttons to manage yourself calmly so you can manage negative emotions.

Who you could be  years from now...

If you don't know exactly who you want to be and what you want to be doing in  years, you're already doing it.

Let it sink in.

If you don't know who you are growing into, you're already who you're going to be in  years.

I don't know about you, but, who I am today isn't good enough for me in  years from now.

I don't want to be a time-teller or a time-keeper. I want to be a clock maker.

I don't want to be caught up with too many things of today. I will want to see further into a long term future and begin creating something today.

I want to be a sharer and not a hoarder of information.

I don't want to be seen as a great leader as much as I want to be seen as one who creates leaders for the future.

Be like the Pencil

The seven qualities of a pencil🖍️ explained as a guiding philosophy for our life.

A young boy🙇 watching his grandmother writing in a book, asked her what she was writing.

His grandmother stopped writing and said, "I am writing a story, but more important than the words it is the pencil I’m using that this story is all about. I hope you will be like this pencil when you grow up."

Intrigued, the boy looked at the pencil which to him didn’t seem very special. It was a pencol so it was just like any other pencil he had seen!

The grandmother said, "It has seven qualities which, if you manage to adopt them, will make you a happy person who is always at peace with the world."

❤️ "First Quality: You must never forget that there is a hand guiding you. We call that hand God, and He always Guides us according to His Will."

❤️ "Second quality:  Now and then, I have to stop writing and use a sharpener. That makes the pencil suffer a little, but afterwards, it is much sharper.  So you, too, must learn to bear certain pains and sorrows, because they will make you a better person."

❤️ "Third quality: The pencil always allows us to use an eraser to rub out any mistakes.  This means that correcting something we did is not necessarily a bad thing; it helps to keep us on the right path.

❤️ "Fourth quality: what really matters in a pencil is not its wooden exterior, but the graphite inside.  So always pay attention to what is happening inside you."

❤️ "Fifth quality: It always leaves a mark. In just the same way, you should know that everything you do in life will leave a mark, so try to be conscious of that in  every action of yours."

❤️ "Sixth quality: It gets shorter and shorter with use.... so also life. Make the most while it lasts."

 

❤️ "Seventh quality: It writes till the very end. Be useful and productive till your end."

Calm Your Mind - Manage Your Mind...

🌺 "Let Be.." 🌺

Ask yourself, "What do I need to 🌺 'Let Be' 🌺 to accept that which I have been resisting?"

🦋 "Let Go..." 🦋

Ask yourself, "What do I need to 🦋 'Let Go,' 🦋 that which is no longer serving me or that which is weighing me down?"

📙 "Let In.." 📙

Ask yourself, "What do I need to 📙 'Let In'  📙 to absorb, to appreciate.

So to Calm Your Mind

🌺 "Let Be.." 🌺

🦋 "Let Go..." 🦋

📙 "Let In.." 📙

And so you Manage Your Mind

Managing energy, not time, is the fundamental currency of high performance.

Performance is grounded in the skilful management of energy.

Great leaders are stewards of organizational energy. They begin by effectively managing their own energy. As leaders, they must mobilize, focus, invest, channel, renew and expand the energy of others.

Full engagement is the energy state that best serves performance.

Principle : Full engagement requires drawing on four separate but related sources of energy: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

Principle : Because energy diminishes both with overuse and with underuse, we must balance energy expenditure with intermittent energy renewal.

Principle : To build capacity we must push beyond our normal limits, training in the same systematic way that elite athletes do.

Principle : Positive energy rituals—highly specific routines for managing energy—arc the key to full engagement and sustained high performance.

Making change that lasts requires a -step process:

Define Purpose

Face the Truth and

Take Action.

Fully engaged energy, not time, is our most precious resource.

 

Energy, not time, is the fundamental currency of high performance.

Performance, health and happiness are grounded in the skillful management of energy.

Old Paradigm - New Paradigm

Manage time - Manage Energy

Avoid stress - Seek stress

Life is a marathon - Life is a series of short quick sprints

Downtime is wasted time - Downtime is productive time

Rewards fuel performance - Purpose fuels performance.

Self-discipline rules - Rituals rule

The power of positive thinking - The power of full engagement.

The challenge of great performance is to manage your energy more effectively in all dimensions to achieve your goals.

Four key energy management principles drive this process. They lie at the heart of the change process that we will describe in the pages ahead, and they are critical for building the capacity to live a productive, fully engaged life.

PRINCIPLE :

Full engagement requires drawing on four separate but related sources of energy: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

PRINCIPLE :

Because energy capacity diminishes both with overuse and with underuse, we must balance energy expenditure with intermittent energy renewal.

To maintain a powerful pulse in our lives, we must learn how to rhythmically spend and renew energy.

PRINCIPLE :

To build capacity, we must push beyond our normal limits, training in the same systematic way that elite athletes do.

We build emotional, mental and spiritual capacity in precisely the same way that we build physical capacity.

PRINCIPLE :

Positive energy rituals—highly specific routines for managing energy—are the key to full engagement and sustained high performance.

A positive ritual is a behavior that becomes automatic over time—fueled by some deeply held value.

THE MIND AND BODY ARE ONE

The primary markers of physical capacity are strength, endurance, flexibility and resilience.

 

These are precisely the same markers of capacity emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Flexibility at the physical level, for example, means that the muscle has a broad range of motion. Stretching increases flexibility.

The same is true emotionally.

Emotional flexibility reflects the capacity to move freely and appropriately along a wide spectrum of emotions rather than responding rigidly or defensively.

Emotional resilience is the ability to bounce back from experiences of disappointment, frustration and even loss.

Mental endurance is a measure of the ability to sustain focus and concentration over time, while mental flexibility is marked by the capacity to move between the rational and the intuitive and to embrace multiple points of view.

Spiritual strength is reflected in the commitment to one's deepest values, regardless of circumstance and even when adhering to them involves personal sacrifice.

Spiritual flexibility, by contrast, reflects the tolerance for values and beliefs that are different than one's own, so long as those values and beliefs don't bring harm to others.

In short, to be fully engaged requires strength, endurance, flexibility  and resilience in all dimensions.

EI - Emotional Inelligence

(Basics and Beyond)

Daniel Goleman published the first book on Emotional Intelligence in  and I procured one copy in .

From then to now, apart from being a student of this subject, I must confess, I have not stopped feeling the need to know more and more yet try making it even simpler so more can understand the subject better and easier.

Trying to be non-clinical and in a way to understand Emotional Intelligence like soft skills.

I try being as simple as simple can be, yet a complex concept/subject like this one isn't easy.

I try doing nothing but interpreting that which I have understood on the subject.

A simple definition of Emotional Intelligence

- Our ability to recognize and

  understand emotions in

  ourselves and others and

  the ability to use that

  awareness to manage our

  behaviour and our

  relationships.

Emotional Intelligence Basics and Beyond

 

. EQ (Emotional Quotient) affects the functioning of our IQ (Intelligence Quotient).

. EI - Emotional Intelligence has an escape velocity that is faster than speed of light and sound.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence is an excellent way of self-learning

. EI - Emotional Intelligence comes into play when you finally know the what and the why of things.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence tells you how to think, not, what to think.

. EI - Emotional

Intelligence is the differentiator between humans and machines - things like AI - Artificial Intelligence, ML - Machine Learning, IoT - Internet of Things and other Digital Technologies.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence teaches us not just to manage our emotions but also successes and failures in life as well.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence is about understanding ourselves well - Self Awareness.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence forms our psychological safety network.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence affects and effects our competencies.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence is a powerful way of up-skilling our mental and physical faculties.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence makes us inclusive to our environment.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence helps us simplify our thoughts, feelings and actions.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence leads to self-identification and forms our personality and character.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence is about extrospection. It is about the empathy and the well-being of others.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence is influenced by our environment, customs and social values.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence leads directly to self-worth and self-esteem which are essential components for the successes we attain in life.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence will soon be a huge disruptor in education as we see it now.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence is enhanced by experiential learning which isn't possible with our current learning modes at schools and even higher education, which follows a textual approach.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence develops the empathy neurons in our mind and releases vital chemicals to heighten the awareness of our emotions.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence is the foundation for our behaviours, thoughts and action.

. IQ vs EQ!

The two have to co-exist.

Both are important but there's no doubt that EQ precails.

 

. EQ evaluation and assessment is essential in behavior management by educationists, psychotherapists or in HR.

. EI - Emotional Intelligence transforms lives, relationships, beliefs and values.

Recommendations:

EI - Emotional Intelligence must be made an essential part of our education curriculum in all academic studies.

EI - Emotional Intelligence is also essential for parents in managing mental health relationship and  behavioural issues with children, hence parents tok should have a basic certification in Emotional Intelligence.

Examples of Emotions :

High Positive -

Challenged

Cheerful

Confident

Connected

Joyful

 

Low Positive

Calm

Composed

Mellow

Peaceful

Relaxed

Serene

Tranquil

 

High Negative

Angry

Anxious

Defensive

Fearful

Resentful

 

Low Negative

Burnt out

Defeated

Depressed

Exhausted

Hopeless

Levels of Learning

. Unconscious Incompetence. -

Explanation: "I don't know that I know."

Inference: Complacency.

Solution : Awakening would help.

. Conscious Incompetence.

Explanation : "I know that I don't know. (And I want to improve."

Inference: Aware and honest.

Solution : Can be taught.

. Unconscious Competence.

Explanation : "I can do it with ease and habitually.

Inference: Confident and Overconfident too.

Solution : Keep Them Engaged.

. Conscious Unconscious Competence

Explanation: I can explain to the others how to do it with ease.

Inference: Confident workman. Great fit for assembly line work.

Solution: Encourage and make him head the line function.

Perpetual Positions

Position - Seeing through my own eyes.

Position - Seeing by standing in your shoes.

Position - Taking the perspective of an observer.

Position - Observing the observer.

Evolving Leaderhip.

When leadership is not a role but a behaviour that people practice across the organisation, then the organisations are better placed to navigate complexities surrounding us.

 

This involves having the right leadership mindsets (and helping people build them), to navigate ambiguity, create customer value, developing people, building strong working relationships (network) and learning through combination of curiosity and experimentation.

Organizations need to completely rethink what they are about and what it means to lead. It's not about one person or even those residing at the top anymore. In today's world, everyone has to adopt a leadership mindset. We have to think of ourselves as members of a leadership community.

Psychological Effects That  Explain our Brains

. The Pratfall Effect:

Your likability will increase if you aren't perfect.

. The Pygmalion Effect

Greater expectations drive greater performances.

. The Paradox of  Choice

The more choices we have the less likely we are to be content with our decision.

. The Bystander Effect:

The more people who see someone in need, the less likely is that person going to receive help.

. The Spotlight Effect

Your mistakes are not noticed as much as you think.

. The Focusing Effect :

Place too much importance on one aspect of an event and fail to recognize other factors.