Our Experiences in Life

(My Life partners experience as an educationist)

LOOKING BACK

I interviewed my father for part of a research paper I was working on for my Psychology class. When I asked him to define success in his own words, he said, “Success is when you look back at your life and the the number of lives you make make will give you memories that will make you smile.

She surely smiles very often because she has tutored several students who have made their lives and now is creating teachers who will carry out that mission for more and more children. 

(My daughter's experiences)

INNOCENCE

One day, in the cutest voice, then 8-year-old my daughter asked me to start recycling. I chuckled and asked, “Why?”

She replied, “So you can help me save the planet.” I chuckled again and asked, “And why do you want to save the planet?”

“Because that’s where I keep all my stuff,” she said.

She has finished her Engineering has done her Masters in Rural Management has carved her professional life working for social causes alone, and has influenced all of us around her to think on the same lines. 

(My son wrote to me at different times) 

KINDNESS

While I was in the Carnegie Mellon University, I tore my ligament and was in deep pain. One day while on my way to the University, a boy, in a wheelchair saw me desperately struggling with his injured leg, with crutches and a slightly heavy back pack, offered to carry his backpack and books for me. He helped me all the way across campus to his class and as he was leaving he said, “I hope you feel better soon.” It brought me tears as I was deeply touched because of the gesture that young boy showed and also terribly moved because I could wish that boy the same as he was crippled below his waist.

SHARING

While on my work one day, in the deep jungles of Kalahandi (a very backward tribal area in Western Orissa) and I met a hungry tribal from one of the hamlets. He said he hadn’t eaten anything in over 3 days and looked extremely skinny and unhealthy. Then I offered him the rest of the chapathi's I was eating. The first thing the man said was, “We can share it.” This was touching indeed.

My own experiences

AFFECTION

I kissed my dad on the forehead as he passed away in a small hospital bed in 1983. About 5 seconds after he passed, I realized it was the first time I had given him a kiss since I was a little boy. 

LOOKING BACK

My brother, and two sisters with me stood around my mother’s bed, when my mother uttered her last coherent words as she was dying. She simply said, “I feel so loved right now. We should have gotten together like this more often.” 

THE POWER OF UNIQUENESS.

About two decades ago I asked my mentor – a very successful lady in her 80’s now – what her top 3 tips are for success. She smiled and said, “Read something no one else is reading, think something no one else is thinking, and do something no one else is doing." I did exactly that and I still continue doing that.

The Dash
by Linda Ellis copyright 1996

​I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth
and spoke the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real
and always try to understand
​the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before. 

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

​So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?

​Copyright 1996 Linda Ellis
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

"Kaagaz Ke Phool" Aaj Ka Version

Doing it's rounds on the internet it's reached me. Enjoyed it, particularly when I googled this song on the YouTube and went through the new lyrics. It's real fun ......!!!!!!!!!!
A tribute to the great Guru Dutt

"Kaagaz Ke Phool" Aaj Ka Version "Software Ke Phool......!!!!!!!!!!"

A reborn Guru Dutt sets up a Software firm. He makes a film, called 'Software ke phool'.  Sahir Sahab likewise revises his old song for the new venture.
It goes like this:

yeh document, yeh meetings, yeh features ki duniya,
yeh insaan ke dushman, cursors ki duniya
yeh deadlines ke bhooke, management ki duniya;
yeh Product agar ban bhi jaaye to kya hai?

yahaan ek khilona hai programmer ki hasti
yeh basti hai murda bug-fixers ki basti
yahaan par to raises hai, inflation se sasti
yeh Review agar ho bhi jaaye to kya hai?

har ek keyboard ghayal, har ek log-in pyaasi
excel mein uljhan, winword mein udaasi,
yeh office hai ya aalame microsoft ki
yeh Release agar ho bhi jaaye to kya hai?

jalaa do ise, phoonk daalo yeh monitor,
mere saamne se hataa daalo yeh modem'
tumhaara hai tumhi sambhaalo yeh computer,
yeh Product agar chal bhi jaaye to kya hai?

Quest for Perfection
Human Qualities, Focus, Dedication and Determination are more important than Talent.
I've had a satisfying innings as a colleague, as a partner, as a parent as a person. I had an enjoyable childhood although some things were tough.
Quest for perfection
You can't be perfect in all things but have to be in something that comes to you naturally.
For eg.: Consider yourself to be an sportsperson - raquet games, football, hockey, cricket etc., you should be physically fit, you should have the body power and speed. Else you should use deception, accuracy and the use of intelligence as your forte, to make up for the qualities that you don't have. These factors can help you succeed. If you imbibe this in your philosophy for perfection in one thing in life, you'll seek it in everything.
It's important to aim at perfection without being too worried about it. Somethings go wrong sometime, and you can get stressed. It is all a process of learning to gain experience. It is important to give a 100% in everything, by not being worried if things don't work out exactly the way you want. You have to learn to make sure that mistakes aren't repeated, that's the real learning. It's all about being balanced. For me, striking the correct balance - both professionally and by family - has come over time, through trial and error and the wisdom that age brings with it.

If I could go back and start my career again, what would change and why? If I could choose to be someone else who would I choose?

I don't think I'll make any changes, as I do not think too many things require it.

As a career professional I gave it all whenever I was designated for any assignment and I converted all hardships that would work in my favor. Looking back at my career I have always probably been working with startups which sprung new challenges all the way. Overcoming these challenges, helped me becoming a seasoned professional in later years.

Looking back, I don't think it would have been possible had I been working with larger organizations, where everything is already set, and you have just to go on with the established and time proven processes, without exception.

I do not know how I would have evolved both as a professional and a person if everything came to me on a platter.

In a way circumstances played a huge part in shaping me to what I became.

I would probably do all the same things to develop my work ethic, focus and dedication, if I were a young professional of this generation. I would have made the most of the knowledge that's available for most young people now. The support systems especially the internet, management science, business Philosophy, leadership psychology etc., which were things not so easily available then. It's freely and abundantly available for the youngsters of today. They've got to learn to harness that in tune with their energy and enthusiasm. It's that fine balance that they need to strive for.

Nobody is a perfect person, but I've always tried to see the good qualities in the others to include them into my personality.
As a growing professional I tried to integrate the good characteristics, body language, speaking style, thought processes, planning, execution, follow up, without changing my basic self. It's the same in real life as well. During my stint in the workplace, and outside - as a parent, as a member of the society, it has always been "walking the talk," practicing what I preach.

My success mantra is the 3 D's - discipline, dedication, and determination (in the right direction) - has remained the same. It may not be easy, but, it is certainly not impossible to sell that basic philosophy to the young people of today. It will perhaps take longer but, that is the nature of that mantra, where results won't come by quickly. Everyone in today's times wants quick results, but success is achieved only through hard work, patience, focus, concentration and continuous practice. This routine could sound boring, or mundane, but in the long run will produce results.

Happiness to me is good health and peace of mind, in that order. It's the same thing that has been shared with our children.

My philosophy is that money is not a 'priority."
Having said that let me quickly add, it's not that money is unimportant, it's just that it's not the only thing in our lives. In the last few years, industry has been paying a lot more and rewarding a lot more, and the only thing expected back in return is their focus on performance and performance alone. It's important, I am not complaining about it, it's just that there has been a lot of advancement in technology as compared to then, hence the quantum leap in expectations. Working as we did mostly manually then, helped us get rounded off in many ways. Today technology helps us do more things, much better. All that you have to be is to become a little more tech-savvy, and that to an extent is a challenge. I have and am trying to overcome this challenge. Have succeeded to a certain extent. To be competitive I realized this is what I have to do to be the best in whatever I do and so I do it. Complaining or giving excuses is a mere waste of time, so it is better to do what is within your control rather than outside it.

Having said all this, I'm happy to have been a part of all the development and changes that have taken place around me from the time I started my career. I have made people believe it is possible for us to do anything that the others can and being the best too. Till date, I haven't felt this as a burden, but, I would certainly want someone else to do even better than I did. A lot of things are better now, so young people should take advantage of everything that's available to them. I say this because they are devoid of people who can guide and inspire them. It is also true and sad to see people not putting their effort's in the right direction. I can only pity them, for all the chaos and confusion we created for them. The distractions around us is the cause, but that can't be an excuse. However, it's important to strive for and to aim at excellence.

I admire some young people that I know off for their hunger to succeed, despite having achieved things that much beyond their age. I surely know that this count can be doubled, tripled or increased multi-fold if only we work together.

An excerpt from  What Makes The Great Ones Great by Don Yaeger

16 Characteristics of a Champion

1. Hating to lose more than loving to win: 
They develop this mind-set by making no excuses when things don’t go their way.

2. Appreciating the value of association: 
They understand the importance of their inner circle.

3. Placing faith in a higher power: 
They have the perspective on life. Which is driven by an understanding of something bigger than themselves.

4. Having contagious enthusiasm: 
Their attitudes are infectious. And they want theirs to be caught by others.

5. Preparing for all possibilities: 
They are ready before the game begins.

6. Having no off-season: 
They understand they are always working toward the next game. And there is always a game ahead.

7. Visualizing victory: 
They can see what success looks like before the opening whistle.

8. Using Adversity as fuel: 
The tough moments of their lives become an inner fire.

9. Being a responsible risk-taker: 
The great ones understand that most great things occur outside of your comfort zone.

10. Knowing how and when to make adjustments: 
What got you there won’t keep you there.

11. Becoming the ultimate teammate: 
They understand that even if they are the best on their team. They may have to take a different role for the team to be successful.

12. Being motivated by more than money: 
They know that if your driver is cash, you won’t drive long.

13. Doing right by others: 
The great ones know that character is defined by how they treat others, without expecting anything in return.

14. Living with integrity: 
When no one is watching, they live their lives with integrity.

15. Being a role model: 
When everyone is watching, they set the standard for those who look up to them.

16. Creating a well-rounded legacy: 
They understand they are not defined by their statistics or accomplishments. 

Calmness in Chaos
by TSK. Raman

This is a story from an Author who name is unknown:  
Once upon a time there was a king who ruled a certain country and was known far and wide for the way in which he ruled his land always seeking the welfare of his subjects.
Also known for his artistic tastes, he decided to hold a competition for painters. On a fixed day painters came from far and wide to display their skills. With all humility he was endowed with, he acknowledged them and urged them to create the best they can.
The competition began and all the artists assembled there began their painting.
After about three or four hours all of them had painted what they had conceived.
The king went about seeing all of them and spent time talking to each of the creators to understand their creations.
Some of them had painted beautiful landscapes, some painted the mountains, some the seas, some the stars and the sky, some the villages and the scenes etc.
All of them were beautiful in their own way.
It was now time for making the decision and announcing who was the best.
After he saw every one of the paintings, and evaluating the paintings on their merits, he chose to award one painting that projected a thunderous waterfall, with strong winds blowing the trees and heavy dark clouds hovering in the sky. Amidst this chaos, just near the falls was a bird's nest in which the older bird was feeding its child.
The painters and people were pretty surprised about the king's choice and one of them dared to ask the king for the logic behind his selection.
The king replied, he chose to award that painting the best because he saw "Calmness in Chaos." Amidst, the thunderous waterfall, the violent winds, bending trees, impending storm, a bird unmindful of all the chaos around it was feeding its child as if nothing is happening around it. Everyone applauded the king for his wisdom and choice.

THE PREGNANT DEER 
- is another such story a beautiful one too!
In a forest, a pregnant deer is about to give birth. 
She finds a remote grass field near a strong-flowing river. 
This seems a safe place. 
Suddenly labour pains begin.
At the same moment, dark clouds gather around above & lightning starts a forest fire. 
She looks to her left & sees a hunter with his bow extended pointing at her. 
To her right, she spots a hungry lion approaching her.
What can the pregnant deer do? 
She is in labour! 
What will happen? 
Will the deer survive? 
Will she give birth to a fawn? 
Will the fawn survive? 
Or will everything be burnt by the forest fire? 
Will she perish to the hunters' arrow? 
Will she die a horrible death at the hands of the hungry lion approaching her? 
She is constrained by the fire on the one side & the flowing river on the other & boxed in by her natural predators.
What does she do? 
She focuses on giving birth to a new life.
The sequence of events that follows are:
- Lightning strikes & blinds the hunter.
- He releases the arrow which zips past the deer & strikes the 
hungry lion.
- It starts to rain heavily, & the forest fire is slowly doused 
by the rain.
- The deer gives birth to a healthy fawn.
What can such stories tell us in modern times where we are all living in a chaotic world.

My thoughts on that...
It is undeniable that we are caught up with many things every given day. Man has created things by learning, understanding and using technology, which has definitely made our lives comfortable. However, the fact is, we are all living life in a mad rush, forgetting the fact that we do things to make a living, and, we ought not to make our living be dominated by those things we created around us for convenience.

Can we imagine living in a world of today minus the mobile, the computer, the internet etc.?

The answer would be an emphatic, "No."

Accepted.

But did people in the not so long ago past live minus these gizmos and did they not go to create some things that enable mankind take a big step forward in civilization like for instance – invention of wheel, saw a revolution of creations like the carts, cycles, trains, cars, etc. that enabled him go distances in lesser time. Looking at the birds and wanting to fly man made his flight in the sky on an aero plane and taking it all forward he also landed on the moon. The radio, the telephone, T.V. etc., was all man's creations much before the technology revolution. All of this was because of his curiosity and so the Edison's, the Einstein's, the Graham Bell's etc., are all people who are remembered even to this day.

Suddenly over the last two decades or so everything seems to have changed so drastically that we would be left behind if we are not able to upgrade ourselves.

And that is the right thing to do.

However, too much of everything is 'bad,' they say and that's what the state of our lives is today.

We seemed to get worked up very easily - we get upset if the
・E mobile signals don't reach your mobile
・E mobile stops working because of a technical problem
・E computer hangs while working
・E internet is down
・E the chosen internet sites do not open

These are just a few examples cited on how we react when things go wrong. After all these are all our own creations. The ripple effects of these failures have a bearing on the way we react and the we behave be it at work, or the house or where ever. We have become very short-fused, we have lost control over ourselves. Everyone blows out at the slightest. Like things can go wrong very quickly our relationship too go wrong easily. Divorces, suicides, misunderstandings, arguments etc., are all a result of our dependencies and the way they work.

I do not want to suggest that am old-fashioned in my thinking, nor would I want to start saying anything like, "In those days..." I do not deny that technology has done wonders to our living, however, I would like to urge people to keep it under limits and also enjoy things around them.

Maybe we can learn from the deer. 

The priority of the deer, in that given moment, was simply to give birth to a baby.
The rest was not in her hands & any action or reaction that changed her focus would have likely resulted in death or disaster.
Ask yourself,
Where is your focus?
Where is your faith and hope? 
In the midst of any storm, do keep it on God always. 
He will never ever dissapoint you. NEVER. 
Remember, He neither slumbers nor sleeps...

Be it that way, as here too the same rule will apply 20% of the people all over the world look after the welfare of the other 80%.

Decide whether you would want to be among the 20% or the 80% it's your life anyway, but we are interested in ing mankind survive. We owe it to the generation that it is yet to come, we want to leave this earth much the same way as we inherited.

MAKING A CRICKET BALL AND MAKING OF AN ORGANIZATION

The effectiveness of any communication is to speak the language that your audience understands. 
On being invited once to a Business School and asked to talk to the young people, I began the talk and asked them, "What is their understanding of what an Organization is?"

As it always is, the responses were wide, varied, and quite filled with jargon, it was natural because they were students pursuing their MBA. Acknowledging and appreciating their responses, I sought their permission to present what I thought I could explain to them in "simple terms" and that in a language all of them will understand. Naturally therefore I chose the "cricket ball" as a 'metaphor to explain what I had in mind. Cricket as you all know is quite like "religion" in India, the most unifying factor.

Wondering what’s this all about ! 
And there you go, getting curious as what’s this all about, and what has it (MAKING A CRICKET BALL AND AN ORGANIZATION) got to do with your life – at least professional life.

Well read on and see what you can unfold.

Let us first get straight to the making of the not LESS than 156 g (5.5 oz) or MORE than 163 g (5.75 oz) “cherry.” That gets hurled through the 20 m (66 ft) long and about 3 m (10 ft) wide strip, which beats the best, which also gets beaten by the best.

Cricket Ball: Has a “kernel” which is the “core,” if you may wish to call. It is a spherical corky-wooden-soft nut, it actually is the nut of an ‘oak.’ Solid but not unbreakable, needs a big hammer to crack it.

Organization : Now take the case of an organization which also believes in having a “core.” Most well run organizations have a solid “core,” not unbreakable again but it needs terrific effort for anyone to break it.
Cricket Ball: The “core” of the ball is made of alternating layers of cork and wool layer after layer.

Organization : The management team the middle level, the junior level and then the juniors are all bound layer by layer by “values, trust, integrity, honest, sincerity, purpose …etc

Cricket Ball: When the wrap attains a size not larger than 23 cm (9 in) in circumference, it gets covered with four pieces of leather, shaped like orange quarters, sewn together along an equatorial seam. The stitching is raised lightly. It then gets dyed usually red and polished to obtain the shine.

Organization : When the core gets wrapped to a certain wieldy size it gets sewn up by “policies” and “culture” then a lot of transmission takes place between everyone in the organization to make it “shine”
Cricket Ball: When the ball gets ready it has to pass through a “Ball Gauge,” an instrument used by the umpires in the game to check whether the size of the cricket ball meets the standard measurements mandated by the Laws of Cricket. It is usually in the form some what like a pair of “hand-cuffs” with two connected rings: one ring has a minimum acceptable diameter, through which the ball should not pass and the other ring has the maximum acceptable diameter through which the ball should pass. If the ball cannot pass through minimum diameter, or passes through the minimum diameter, or gets out of shape, the umpires should replace the ball. The replacement ball is ideally an old ball which was used in some match before for a comparable number of overs as the ball being replaced, so that it has had approximatly the same amount of use and wear as the old ball.

Organization : Any organization after formation passes through a severe test for survival. It can’t afford to be too aggressive nor can it afford to be less aggressive. And it has the various governing bodies that keep monitoring whether the guidelines provided are followed and that there are no violations.

Only here it differs from the ball as one organization which falters doesn't get replaced by another, but it has to be formed all over again.

Cricket Ball: You need to practice hard, train well to learn how to use the “cherry” to do well game after game, consistently to attain the heights of the greats that played the game, and well too.
What Kapil Dev, Richard Hadlee, Muthiah Muralidharan, Anil Kumble, Shane Warne, Glenn McGrath, Imran Khan, Dale Styne, Ravichandran Aswin......and the list goes on endlessly, do is to stick hard to the basics of “line and length.” It is because they do this time and time again and put their heart and soul into game applying “focus and concentration,” that results speak for themselves and these people became as great as they did or do…

Organization : People in the growing “organization” have to work hard, and put to use all that they learnt through their education from the school to the highest professional degree each goes to attain. They practice “fair play” and look after everyone with care.

What the leaders of successful companies like the Tata Group, Birla Group, Wipro, Infosys, the TVS,.. list goes on endlessly and the so many successful leaders of several others successful organization world over, do, is to stick hard to the basics of 'line' - “values, trust, integrity, honest, sincerity, purpose, length and the longevity.” It is because they do this time and time again and put their heart and soul into the enterprise applying “focus and concentration,” that results speak for themselves and these people became as great as they did or do…

Finally A Cricket Ball: Very hard from the “outside” and “soft” from the inside “core.” It also has a life.

Finally An Organization: Very hard from the “outside” because they have to succeed and show results and “soft” from the inside “core” because they are all human being behind the whole thing. Organizations too have a "life" only some go on to live more than their life time, that's why they get to be called the "Great Companies," - "Built to Last" as they would say.

So that’s that – the “Makings of a Cricket ball” and the “Makings of an Organization.”

This is the simplest I could get.