Be Yourself, Be You

I went to thank the hardworking humble  bumble bee for all the honey it gives us.

The hardworking humble bumble bee said, "Thank the fragrant fresh fine flowers for being so generous in providing us the nectar.

So I went to the fragrant, fresh fine flowers to thank them.

The fragrant fine fresh flowers said, "Thank the good, gentle, generous gardner, and his family for their love and care that made us blossom so beautiful.

So I went to the good, gentle, generous gardner to thank him.

And he said, "Thank the Almighty for his Blessings on all of us. We are a part of mankind."

How beautiful it is that you and I and everyone else here are of the same mankind. There's no me without you in my life.

Be You

You do so many things in a day, don't you?

for your daily bread,

for your colleagues,

for your friends,

for your family,

for everyone around,

true or is it an assumption.

Anyway, I wanted to urge you to do a favour for yourself, and hope you will. It's going to be good for you if you will, else you'll be the one who'll lose, not me.

Now, here is what I want for you..

Speak less, but Listen more intensely being involved 100%.

Learn enough be for you earn or spend.. Make learning, a daily habit.

Wait, pause and think a lot more before you write or speak, because someone is going to be impacted.

Try and try a lot harder before you quit.

Be truly yourself, don't fake who you actually are.

Live every moment as if it's your first and last, one excites you the other makes you be soft, humble and human.

Being this you will be a cut above the rest.

That's to set you up for a great week ahead on R3-Raman's Random Ramblings,

by

Raman

08/01/2019, 12:09 - Raman Bharadwaj: We G-E-T three types of people in our life.

You must be getting curious.

Let me explain:

This is real-time first-hand narrative about three educated middle-aged men.

In our neighbourhood, we have one who uses all vacant space on the ground to plant trees, vegetables, flowers etc., waters them, tends for them and nurtures them spending money of his own without asking anyone. Not just that he is so generous that he asks everyone to pick vegetables or flowers they like and they needn't seek his permission. This GENTLEMAN is the

G - GERMINATOR.

The next orders cutting of fully grown shady trees because the dry leaves messes up his balcony, chokes the rain drain pipes.

This ECCENTRIC GENTLEMAN is the

E - ELIMINATOR.

The last is the EXETERMINATOR GENTLEMAN.

He mows down the trunks, to appropriate sizes, using a mechanical axe to make stools, and small chairs for his sit out. Not just that this T - TERMINATOR, orders pouring acid on the left over projection of the tree trunk so that the roots too are destroyed completely. How cruel can any one get, by becoming an EXTERMINATOR.

Looking around us be it in the community, society, city, workplace etc., we find all the three types of people.

The GEMINATORS, who plant seeds of thoughts, live by example and do all the good they can for the future of others.

The ELIMINATORS, are those who are so selfish and so full of self that they will now down or squash anyones life or career if it comes in their way.

The TERMINATORS, are those who think everyone in the world is born only to serve them.

They'll use them and as an EXTERMINATOR, will wipe out all traces of not just existence but dissolve the future too.

Sit down and ponder over if you G - E - T, what I said. See which category you are affiliated too. Observe the others and see which category they fall into?

Being in good company and germinate in real life too. Celebrate, by planting a tree and see it grow nurturing it with care. You'll feel proud of yourself. I have and I have  seen them grow well. With the Blessings of the ALMIGHTY, I have nurtured four so far and I look at them everyday with pride.

The isn't imaginary  this is real.

Scripted specially for the members of this group R3 -  Raman's Random Ramblings,

by Raman.

FORGIVENESS Sets You Up For Sucess.

Among the most difficult things to do is to Forget and Forgive.

You might think what I'm saying is all CRAP.  I respect uiur thought  as you are entitled to, yet, before you dismiss it entirely just read this CRAP, please.

 With the notion of forgiveness, you'll be able to promote yourself without having to explain why, nor be even ashamed. Doing this your confidence grows, so that you'll become empowered to do all what you want you want to and become all that. C is CRAP  therefore is CONFIDENCE.

By every act in the drama of life, be it professional or personal, we generate a new self every moment. Little by little these acts make a major script that from which a more responsible and powerful you eveloves, that others want to emulate. You take the whole responsibility of who you are and all that you do, want to do. So the R in CRAP is RESPONSIBILITY.

It is basic and is very important. It is needed in the beginnkng, in the middle, and till the end of your life. You have this you can get along well, doing things well, learn to balance yourself, be it good or bad, expected or unexpected. The A in CRAP, is ATTITUDE.

Your ability to keep going on  attempt after attempt. Your ability to continue to take emotional risks, and ask for help, stems from the fact that you are egoless, you have taken rejection and pains as part of growing in life, you know you have nothing more to lose, even if shame constantly pops up, to remind you of the past and stall your progress. You continue your persevere and  journey along.  That's the P in CRAP that is called PERSEVERANCE.

So now can I be assured that CRAP too does good.

Ponder over this and ask

What do you or what all do you need to forget and forgive?

Whom do you or whom all do you want to forgive?

Forgive them and set yourself free. Right now send them your love. Free yourself of all guilt by forgiving yourself, first for everything. By stopping to beat yourself forgiving yourself  for all your acts your failures, of what could have been or what more you would have been. Free yourself of all the baggage you carry, go on to do what all you wanted to do become what you wanted to become.

Forgiveness says, " You are given another chance, another opportunity, to make a new beginning."

~ Desmond Tutu

Live every moment with Joy, cheer and happiness being burden free.

Scripted exclusively for the members of this group R3 - Raman's Random Ramblings.

by

Raman

Some hard truths about trust.

Integrity is a great quality, which everyone should have. Unfortunately it is one that is most unstable, because a person who is honest and sincere, there's no guarantee that this person might not be change in the future. Basic human trait cjangescif one knows he/she will not be caught.

Corruption isn't restricted just to people sitting on powerful chairs holding powerful positions. It prevails everywhere irrespective of the position  be it high, middle or low, in all forms - material, moral, by mind and or even physical.

Am not saying you shouldn't  trust your gut feeling but just ensure you verify it.

A touching moment..

Like on every evening of any working day, I was driving my soul-mate and spouse Girija back home. Was asking her how she felt delivering the lecture in her class today.

She said she was choked with emotions.

Beginning her teaching career in 1987, armed with a degree, in the pre-primary section, she took an instant liking to what she was doing. She worked hard, earned two PG degrees in this space and passionately went about her job. 

Her work was recognized, as the parents were very appreciative of the way their children were doing with their studies and co-curriculars too. She was rewarded was give the primary section up to Class 5.

In this space of time she did both her Bachelors and Masters in Education, which is essential for teaching. Quickly she was made the Head of the Primary Section, and was given the assignment of teaching the middle section Classes 6-8. She excelled there too. She was moved to the Higher Sections for teaching Classes 9-11, and was made the Head of the Middle Section. She qualified herself with a Masters in Psychology in this space.

It so happened the School Principal had to leave her job as her husband got a transfer, so Girija was the choice for the Principal’s position. This was in seven years from the time she began to teach. Six years passed by and it so happened the School management changed.

This time around, the assignment was to be a Lecturer for the B.Ed. College the Management started newly. Though it was interim the guidelines of the University a Lecturer should either be Net qualified or a Ph.D., else an M.Phil., pursuing a Doctorate.

First things first, in her only attempt she qualified through Net. Enrolled herself for an M.Phil. too. So after assuming responsibility of a Lecturer she became a qualified Lecturer in a year completing Net. Her M.Phil., in two years after that. She took on herself to do her Ph.D., in 2005 and became a Doctorate in Ph.D., in 2010. In this space of time the Management decided to close the College of Education, in 2013. She got another assignment pretty quickly and this time as a Principal of both the College of Education - B.Ed., and also of the College of Education offering D.Ed. 

She also was teaching English, Philosophy and Social Sciences  all through. The Management was also running an Engineering College in the same Campus, so she was made the HOD of the English Department and was teaching Engineering students. She held all her responsibilities well, carried herself with grace and dignity. She was well respected and loved by everyone.

Now you must be wondering, why was I narrating all this personal story.  Fair enough.

It was an emotional moment not just for her but for me too as she delivered her last lecture before retirement. Tomorrow, is her last working day. She is Supervising Authority for the Semester Exam being conducted by the Osmania University. She has the key to unlock release of the Question Papers, and finally has to sign documents handing over the sealed answer sheets.

With that she signs off her illustrious career as an Educationist. She makes all of us very proud. She has been s wonderful life partner a great mother and a good friend of all her colleagues.

She authored  three books on the subjects she taught, and those will adorn the shelves of all University Libraries as a reference book.

I bow with respects to this great teacher.

Do we empathize enough?

How do we build empathy with our children, with our family?

We go out meet friends, we get to work and meet colleagues. We step out of home meet neighbours and friends, how well do we empathise with all, especially when someone disagrees with us.

There's no one size fit all solution to address all issues, but, what we can do surely is to make an effort to understand the other person's point of view. They may be right or wrong, it may be in agreement with you or go off on a tangent, but, listening to them would help us a great deal to go forward.

The ways for that could be to observe the Words they choose, for it can tell us what their Thoughts are or Thinking is, because that arouses the feelings which triggers Action.

If effort is made to listen intently without dissecting or judging, we can truly manage to empathise. This may bring about a change the way you see, think or feel about a situation. It might even help you find a solution to break the impasse.

Scripted exclusively for the members of this group

R3 - Raman's Random Ramblings,

By

Raman

My submission

From all that I have been seeing and expressing for many years.

- We live in a world filled with self centred selfish people, who all only look for

WIIIFM -> WHAT IS IN IT FOR ME.

- Very few who have grown with discipline, love and care.

- Very few who have seen good things and have lived a good life.

What is Coaching?

In a Nutshell

The activity of coaching brings together behaviours, techniques and methods that we know make a difference to the results a person is creating. For example, during conversation, coaches use effective listening and questioning, they offer constructive challenge or observations and give helpful feedback. An individual may have a specific goal, or topic they’d like to work on, or perhaps they have an idea of a general lifestyle they want to create. An effective coach facilitates discussions that increase an individual’s awareness, insight and available choice in a situation. For any coach, increasing our own skill is a rewarding challenge where we learn first about ourselves in order to better understand and support others. In a world where so many of us face increasing complexity and challenge, alongside goals, dreams and desires, a good coach can literally help us get better at life.

Coaching influences someone’s understanding, learning, behaviour and progress, effectively.

Put simply, coaching is a conversation, or series of conversations, that one person has with another. What makes the conversation different from others is the impact the conversation has on the person being coached (the coachee).

Coaching conversations can happen over different timeframes and in different environments.

The person being coached gains increased clarity regarding a situation or topic, which enables them to make progress in some way.

Most often, the best person to judge if a conversation was a coaching conversation (or not) is the person being coached.

If someone finds the following to be true after a conversation, then they would probably accept that it was coaching:

o   The focus of the conversation was primarily upon them and their situation.

o   Their thinking, actions and learning benefited notably from the conversation.

o   If the conversation hadn’t happened, they were unlikely to have had those benefits in thinking or learning within that timeframe.]

What does a Coach do?

A Coach is somewhat like this...

One who plants trees, knowing that he/she will never sit in their shade nor enjoy it's fruits, has started to be human knowing the true meaning of life. And, sets out on a journey to arouse the same feeling in others by associating with them in their realizing what they want to create and facility the process.

As a Coach I won't... Try to fix Offer any advice Tell you what to do Pretend I know more than you Assume what's best for you Have all the answers Make the hard stuff go away.

As a Coach I won't... Try to fix Offer any advice Tell you what to do Pretend I know more than you Assume what's best for you Have all the answers Make the hard stuff go away.

The only thing I'll insist on is getting a 100% commitment, of doing and completing all that you say you will. Also please remember I will not entertain any excuse whatsoever.

Fundamental Skills of Coaching

Skill one — Build rapport and relationship Rapport – relationship in action

Skill two — Intense levels of listening in different ways and using intuition too

Skill three — Setting Goals

Skill four — Asking effective questions

Skill five — Giving constructive feedback

Looking in a bit more on Goal Setting 

Many people ask me about their goals. 

• How do you make a goal?
• How do you set goals that are achievable?
• How do you stay focused on that goal?

The two big mistakes that people are making are:

#1 They call them “goals” (I simply call it what I want)  

#2 They’re only looking at it once or twice a year 

The most important thing about goal setting is to give it attention.

Give it a lot of attention, give it persistent attention and clarify what you want.

I look at what I want daily.

Again, as to point #1, I don't think in terms of goals as much as I think in terms of what I want.

So, the first step I'm going to do is clarify what it is I WANT.

For instance, I write down with a pen and a piece of paper all the things I want.

I do not do this with a computer — this is a personal little thing for me to write it down on paper.

I write down without any mechanics, without any understanding of HOW to do it, how to get it…this is merely what I WANT to happen in life. 

I am NOT concerned with action at this point, I'm not concerned with mechanics.

I'm only concerned with what I want, what the perfect situation is.

 

What do you want in life?

• For example, I want live in the hills in the midst of a forest
• I want to take my family for holidays to places we choose to. 
• This list can go on..

I may not have a clue when I'm writing these HOW to do it. 

But I know I can keep clarifying that over a period of time. 

So, I write down the things I want over and over again. 

Sometimes they change. 

But doing this solidifies what's most important to me.

So today, get your mind wrapped around what it is you want and get jacked up and excited about it!

Don’t get tied up in the mechanics of how to do it, just write down what YOU WANT.

Remember, your dream life won’t happen if you don’t first clarify it and move toward it. 

~ Raman

Happiness is within us...

A man asked a chiselling artist, "How do you bring to life, by your creations on stones."

The talented but humble artist explained, "There's already a lot of life in it, I just remove the extra stones."

How much more truer can this be. We have all the happiness we seek all hidden within us. We just need to scrape the mundane worries, consequential or inconsequential, there'll be nothing else but, peace, happiness, joy and cheer, that too in never ending abundance.

Use as much as you want, share as much as you want. Keep on using keep on sharing.

Your happiness also depends on the others around you being happy.

~ Raman